Third fresh failed (6th embryo) 😢

[J0J0123]

Good morning all

Firstly I wanted to say a big thank you to everyone that responded to my posts and shared their experiences over the last few weeks (sorry I've not managed to reply to everyone but I have read your responses). It's been an incredibly anxious time and just doesn't get any easier the more rounds we do!

Sadly our last fresh transfer ended in a BFN and I stated my period on the morning of OTD (Friday). I did the pregnancy test anyway but knew the outcome would not be good. This was our 6th embryo that has failed in a row on our journey for a sibling for our little girl (she was the result of our very first fresh round ICSI almost 4 years ago!). Since having her I have never seen a positive pregnancy test and it's been the most heartbreaking journey.

The 6 embryos we had were all good quality and had all made it to day 5 blacosysts (at varying grades). I'm finding it very difficult to process this all and I just don't understand how ivf worked for us first time and then never again! I'm aware luck plays a huge part in ivf but to have 6 on a row fail is hard for me to comprehend (we even changed clinic for this fresh round). The doctors have all said that me having had a successful pregnancy to term was a good sign everything was ok so it had to be the embryos that were abnormal. Is it really possible to have that many abnormal embryos in a row (I am under 40)? None of it really makes much sense to me.

We have 2 frozen left to use next year and then we will be done on our journey. After so many rounds and having used so many medications, I am tempted to do unmedicated FETs but so worried to risk the last embryos we have on something I've never done before. Has anyone had any success with unmedicated? Also I've heard you can't go straight into a FET after a failed fresh transfer? I need to check with my clinic.

Wishing everyone still on their own journey lots of hugs and baby dust xxx

[C-a-t-m-u-m]

Hello I couldn’t read this and not reply, I am exactly the same. Our precious little boy from our first ever round of IVF , he’s just turned 2!

Trying for a sibling has just ended in MC and negatives this year from FETs. Never had a positive pregnancy since and I think I’ve had a least one very early loss naturally before testing positive. I didn’t realise it would be this hard and heartbreaking.

I’m also such a mess, crying all the time and just not my self. Currently having a break. Big hugs I’m right with you and can relate xx

[Doodlebug23]

Hi, I’ve just had my 5th failed transfer - first double. I’m starting to question my clinics response if it’s a numbers game. I’ve never had a successful pregnancy only miscarriage a few years ago at 9 weeks and a recent chemical. Interesting doesn’t seem the right word to use but food for thought that you’ve also had so many failed transfers after a successful pregnancy.

I’ve just had a FET straight after a failed fresh and I didn’t feel right from the start. I was on day 2 of my post chemical bleed when I had my consultation so started meds 2 days later whereas previously I’ve always due to timing had the bleed followed by a period before starting again. I feel I need to question with my clinic 🙁

[Keepingfaith85]

oh so sorry to hear this. It’s so unfair after 6 embryos but it’s great that you have two more chances and hopefully one of those is the one and is just waiting for you 🤞🤞

Thinking of you and hope you have a good rest from everything over Christmas. Look after yourself you’ve been amazing xxx

[Twiglet2]

hey lovely I know exactly how you feel! Somehow it’s harder when it doesn’t work when you know it can work cos you have living proof!! I wasn’t prepared for that at all when trying for a sibling I really thought the pressure would be off a little bit somehow not seems more! Am I wasting money and time I could be spending with my little boy doing this etc. what if he never has a sibling how will his life be! We have done 7 transfers with a total of 10 embryos so far in trying for a sibling (took 3 transfer and 4 embryos to get out little boy) and we’ve had a mixture of negatives and misscariages the most recent being in October at 9weeks.

I felt exactly like you at times after a failed transfer (and probably will again) BUT I am determined to not let it ruin my life for too long after a cycle especially Christmas this year (I had a miscarriage a few days before Christmas last year and the year before we buried my sister in law on Christmas Eve so I feel I’ve never really got to properly enjoy our wee boy at Christmas yet) I am also determined to keep going one more time for a fresh round in the new year as I really do think we just need to find that one wee perfect embryo as it has happened before… it’s just taking a little longer this time 🤗 I have also found my work has some free counselling services and I’ve decided to use them as no matter what way this turns out I think having someone impartial to talk to will be really helpful, especially as you can choose to talk on the phone ! I don’t know if your clinic or work offers something similar?

Ps my clinic wait one period in Between fresh and FET and I also tried natural FET as it was an itch I had to scratch and was sick of the hormones at the time (no luck and I went back to medicated) so I think that is something worth exploring for you as the odds seem about the same when I looked into it, but my clinic only do a handful a month so I was waiting a few months to get booked in is why I went back to medicated.

Sending you a massive hug as I can hear the pain and frustration in your post and you are not alone in that! Xx

[WillowPark]

Hi Jojo123, it is really tough. We have had four transfers this year and all negative. Day 5 perfect blasts. It seems every result we get is perfect - perfect levels, perfect lining, embryologist happy. Apart from one wee cyst and an ovary which likes to hide it has gone as well as it could have. Yet nothing. You start to wonder what is wrong and whether you are missing something and throwing good embryos away, or maybe there is something wrong with the embryos, and if there is then will we ever make a good one?! So tough. (Sorry there wasn't anything helpful in this chat - just wanted to say you aren't alone in the sadness and frustration!)

[MrsOrangejuice]

I found the comments by doctors and embryologist that everything was 'perfect' to be a really mixed blessing - it gave us the perception that it would work immediately and then I wasn't prepared - at least at first - for the losses and disappointments. We've had three rounds with entirely different egg numbers and blasts, five transfers, two of which were early losses, one was a PUL at 10 weeks and one was a BFN, but one worked, so 1 in 5 for us with everything 'perfect' and age not a factor. Doctor says it's numbers and similar to natural pregnancy success rates, only I guess a lot of women don't know they're pregnant or test so early as we do. Also got told having had one baby was another reason to be hopeful. But two transfers this year after having my LG (which included the PUL and BFN) I started to worry again, whether I had an infection from c-section (there's some evidence about taking antibiotics for unknown infection can help, and may also reduce inflammation and endo), and also I wasn't absorbing progesterone - in any form, at all. So I'd decided to do a natural FET, which is appropriate if you have regular cycles and your progesterone's ok naturally, and also I was sick of the meds (which never worked properly for me anyway). So definitely worth exploring. I didn't get to doing the natural FET though as by some miracle I conceived naturally the same month (for the first time ever in 10+ years TTC) and am now 5mnths. So I know there's nothing 'wrong' with my eggs, partner's sperm, my hormones or the womb environment and yet IVF has failed for us way more often than worked. It's frustrating and soul-crushing and the added pressure of wanting a sibling for your child and 'letting them down too', plus the guilt of not being the parent you imagined because of the pressure, meds, stress, hormones... is not something I was prepared for. But it can be OK and just focus on next steps for now x

[Natasha2012]

I am also interested in this . I have two frozen embryos of c grade quality and swaying towards an unmedicated cycle but not 100% certain . Hugs for the tough journey ❤️ xxx