HELP..

[herewego89]

hmmm so our first FET is booked for 9th Nov… I couldn’t be more thrilled, we have kept this quiet from almost everyone minus a few trusted very close friends due to wanting to have some control, and not having people asking questions and having less people to hopefully not have to manage their emotions if it’s fails… however my social events Callander for some reason is busy this month (all booked earlier this year) birthdays and weekends away with friends 😅 I’m cancelling due to needing to be chilled etc etc… and I don’t know what to say without exposing what’s going on with our first FET… wtf do I say…. HELP… please 🙏…

[WillowPark]

This is so tricky. We have been avoiding planning things for the last 18 months and it is difficult. In my experience there are two options - say you are undergoing medical treatment, are fine and don't want to specify. People will guess IVF or might worry anyway. The other is a series of unfortunate events. I have always gone with the second. The key is to be involved and emphasise how much you are looking forward to said event and then, bam, unfortunate event. Stomach bug. Covid. Work emergency. Car broke down. Grandparent unwell.

It would be worth considering how much you really need to miss though. It isn't necessary to sit at home with your feet up the whole time, especially with an FET, and maybe being with friends will be good for you. We are hopefully starting ours this weekend and I'm thinking I only really need to keep the weekend free and chilled post transfer. When I'm just taking estrogen I plan to carry on as normal.

[Sunshine809]

I feel your pain! It's so hard having to lie to friends or keep such a big thing from people, but we do it to protect ourselves and sometimes we have to be selfish.

Could you say you've got/had Covid and been feeling really under the weather? I know quite a few people recently who've been really hit hard by Covid, so it's pretty believable. The effects can last a long time too, so you can no longer be testing positive for Covid but still just feeling crap and wiped out for a few weeks afterwards x

[Ginbaby]

I'd personally go and enjoy yourself. You don't have to drink alcohol and can always sneak off the toilets or somewhere private to do your medication. I done everything by the book for 4 transfer and they all failed. I carried on as normal for my 5th go and finally got a BFP.

All the best in whatever you decide to do xx

[JaiLw86]

After the initial transfer where I rested, after a few days I felt I needed distractions. I thought about the potential baby every second (still am) and found distractions helpful to help move time to the next milestone! See how you feel, and see which ones you think you can manage! I found the TWW a challenge and now the 3 week wait to the scan… having distractions for me is good!

Wishing you the best of luck!

[Citizenerased83]

Hey Herewego89, I'd carry on as normal too if you feel comfortable with that as it will be a huge distraction. Otherwise if you say you have covid I don't think it'll get questioned.

Good luck for the FET. Mine is on the 8 Nov so we'll be 2ww buddies. Message me if you want to during the wait xx