I hope i don't upset anyone but just wanted to share our story to help anyone who is feeling disheartened. Ivf does work and we are soooo greatful for the science and all the staff at the hospital that gave us our babies.Myself anf husband were trying for nearly three years and no luck. It is so hard as sex then became something we did to try and get pregnant rather than something we were doing because we wanted to. It did impact our relationship but communication/date days etc helped.
We had all the tests and it came back with unexplained infertility....which i found so frustrating. If something was wrong they could fix it right?! Unexplained means apparently nothing wrong so how do they know what is going to work?!! However consultant said that she sees it as a positive as nothing wrong so less reason why ivf wouldn't work which is the phrase that has stuck with me. Obv no gaurantee and it is down to luck!
First round we got 5 embroys. Transferred on day 3. Results came back that i was pregnant but HGG should be higher so high chance it won't proceed. Had a further 2 weeks of hell. Back and forward for scans/blood tests. Sometimes things were progressing...but still delayed in where it should, then sometimes things not looking good. I did eventually have a miscarriage. Was surprised even though we new right from the start that it wasn't looking good that when i did miscarry how formed it was (it looked like one of those aliens in the 90's that were in jelly and you had to look after it to male ot grow) it was sad but also a relief as had been just over a month of mixed emptions, clinging onto any bit of hope...but also knowing it probably wasn't going to progress.
As weird as it sounds i have always felt from a early age that i would struggle to conceive. No idea why but just always had a feeling.
We then went for a frozen round and thank our lucky stars every day as we literally got in then the following day we went into the first lock down and treatments then got cancelled. It meant my husband missed out on scans etc but this round worked and we had a wee girl by planned section as i had placenta previa. I did loose a fair bit blood in theatre...however again very well controlled and hosptoal staff were amazing.
We didn't have any embroys left so when we wanted to start trying we had to do a fresh round. We choose to go to the same hospital that we had our NHS round as they offer a option to pay. As we were already in the system, they new our history etc we didn't have to wait too long to begin our next fresh round.
The next fresh round didn't work. I had assumed that when a round didn't work it would just be like a period...for me this was not the case. We were on holiday and i started bleeding. However everytime i stood up could feel loads coming out, every 15mins had to go to the toilet and change the pad etc. Was just awful had to call the hospital as honestly thought there was something serious wrong with the amount of blood loss. They said my lining was thick and it was just coming away. Nobody had told me this could happen, and i do wish i felt more prepared for when a ivf round didn't work. For me it was worse than the miscarrage in terms of blood loss.
Next round was going to be a frozen and this was successful. My dad had died and the transfer was the day after his funeral. It was such a time of mixed emotions and i certainly cried alot during the TWW. Was worried sbout the stress on the embroy etc however it worked and i am sat now feeding my 7 week old baby.
I know in comparison to others my journey hasn't been as long or complex as others. It took has took us 7 years for us to complete our family through ivf as thevrine you wait on tests/appointments all adds up from the inital referral. Again i am so so greatful to the science and medical staff that work so hard.
When i had my second section the consultant was sewn me up she asked if i had Endometriosis as there is alot of inflammation on my pelvis. I don't know if i have but i suspect i do. I have always had heavy periods and obviously couldn't fall pregnant naturally. However in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter as i know have both my ivf babies.
My advice to anyone would be don't test early. For me it brings nothing but stress until official test day and every waking minute thinking if the test was a false positve/is it too early/will it change etc.
I also didn't find it helpful sharing our story with people. Now i know alot of people find comfort in sharing with friends etc i just found that whilst they want to help and absolutely want it to work. Just found it more stressful, particualy having to tell people things weren't going in the right direction. People always said..just relax, have drink then have sex, my friend went throuugh ivf and they now have twins etc...honestly could have screamed. However i appreciate that this is a personal choice.
Wishing every single person the best of luck and really hope you all get your babies. Xx
BFN 😢 Not ready to give up!!
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