Stress before FET cycle

[scotchegg]

Hi everyone, newbie posting here.We had a failed fresh cycle in March unfortunately, but have 2 frosties that we're hopeful still stand a chance. At the beginning now of frozen cycle, I've had a baseline scan and been on oral oestrogen for a week, hopefully ready for transfer next week.

My worry is, life is very stressful at the moment Not only is IVF stressful enough but my dad is critically ill in hospital 2 hours away, we're planning our wedding (which may have to be moved depending on dad's recovery, or not, plus success of IVF), my partner's just been made redundant and my work is horrendous.

All this means I'm constantly battling anxiety and I'm scared this will affect our chances.

I didn't want to postpone the cycle because we're not getting any younger and we're keen to try again to become parents asap.

But now I'm doubting whether there's any point. Last time everything seemed good and I was able to relax and it failed, so I am feeling like there's no hope when my mind and body are already very frazzled D:

Any wise words of advice or encouragement would be very welcomed, tyia <3

[Twiglet2]

I’m so sorry for everything you are going through 😢🤗 I dont think there is ever really a ‘perfect time’ for IVF (or a baby!) so I would be the same as you and not want to delay. The one thing I would say is when transfer day and the week or so after comes along you may have to be a little selfish and focus on you for that period as much as possible in the circumstances. People get pregnant in all sorts of crazy and stressful circumstances so I wouldn’t worry too much about feeling anxious it’s perfectly normal but do try and create a little bubble around transfer day if you can lovely as happy hormones are thought to help a little and sometimes we do need that extra sprinkle with IVF. Wishing you all the luck in the world and it sounds like you are due some happy news amongst it all 💜xx

[scotchegg in reply to Twiglet2]

Thank you, that's good advice

[Eloquentia]

I am sorry everything has piled together and is stressing you out. I was anxious before our second FET (mainly due to the failure of the first one) and did a few fertility reflexology sessions. I found them extremely relaxing and beneficial to my overall well being. Would highly recommend! Very best of luck with the transfer, I hope it sticks

[scotchegg in reply to Eloquentia]

Thanks

[Fruitandflowers]

So sorry for what you're going through which is tough enough without the fertility worries. It's cliché but try and remember that women get pregnant naturally in incredibly stressful situations (like war zones) so whilst it's not ideal, I don't think it can really affect the outcome. For me, I did fresh transfers when super chilled, took time off etc and they ended in early losses same as they did when I was working mad hours, stressed and didn't take time off. The one that worked for me was my one and only FET when I was more stressed with personal and work stuff than ever. If you'll regret going ahead and blame yourself that's a different story, but the hope for me and accepting that I can't really do anything to change the outcome, was eough for me to go ahead x

[DG2022]

scotchegg im really sorry to hear about your dad. I hope he recovers soon

Just wanted to share my experience

I’ve had one ivf fresh+ 2 FETs (all miscarriages). The 3rd cycle - I was very upset as I had lost my grandad and could not attend his funeral. I don’t regret doing the cycle but I would say being in a positive mindset is best.

I’ve had another loss since and ectopic pregnancy which could have broken me - but here I am preparing for my next FET.

I wouldn’t say my mental health is particularly good at times but I’m trying to focus and prioritise what means most at the moment - which is me, my partner and having child

You’ve got this 😊

[Faith103]

Firstly I would like to say I’m sorry you are feeling this way. I can totally relate to how you’re feeling. I’m in the middle of FT and due for transfer next Friday. It’s my last shot as it’s my last embyro. I’ve been in and out of the dentist for 4 weeks, had a tooth extracted and still got such bad pain and looking at root canal or another possible extraction. I’ve had to take 4 weeks off work unpaid and my partner has also lost his job due to staying at home to help me. Financially we are struggling and I’m not sure if it’s the right time but I’m just going with it. I’m worried I will have to have dental work in my 2WW and I’m terrified of the dentist and I am such a worried person and my anxiety is bad anyways. On top of that with it being our only embyro I’m terrified of it not surviving the thawing process as we have lost one this way before. So my anxiety is thorough the roof. I’m a teeth grinder which is also worse and not helping my tooth pain. All such bad timing. I was considering cancelling but I’ve decided to still go ahead. I’m trying to tell myself what will be will be but If it doesn’t work I’m not sure if I will blame my stress levels. I keep thinking people get pregnant in all sorts of situations and it might just happen but I am so worried too. 😔 xxxx