Time off work post-unsuccessful cycle

[TTC0011]

Has anyone taken time off work (sick leave) after a failed cycle? I never have, I've gone with the "stiff upper lip and get on with it" but I feel this cycle, I could use some downtime to recover physically and mentally. Were you judged for it if you did?

[Rcs11]

Do what you need to do. IVF is so hard (harder emotionally than anything else). I’ve taken time off work (now) post FET & my colleagues who know about it have been hugely supportive. I am a midwife, our days are insanely busy, usually no breaks (or time to pee some days), but even with that in mind I was supported to go off. I always think this is not a privileged place to be, most people can go to bed with their parter & hey presto, get pregnant! We are not those people so do WHATEVER you need to get you through these tough times xxx

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi TTCO. You could self certify or ask your GP to sign you off for medical procedure. Have a look at our website fertilitynetworkuk.org at the “Fertility in the Workplace” for lots of information. Diane

[Kitkat10]

hi, I didn’t take time off but I wish I had because I was definitely not ‘present’ at work and it was a struggle to put on a brave face. I wish I had taken better care of my mental well being through the cycles but I felt like I had to just push on and pretend it wasn’t impacting things. I regret that and I was definitely judged for not being the best version of myself during those times so people will judge regardless and I really wouldn’t worry about it. You need to put you first and I would take a break if I had the time again x

[Joeysjourney]

You are entitled to protected sick leave after embryo transfer. 2 weeks after the transfer, and 2 further weeks if its negative. You already get protected sick leave if you get a positive i.e pregnancy sick leave.

You cannot be penalised or disadvantaged if you take this leave. I usually just get my gp to put pregnancy related on my sick cert. Check citizen's advice or your local employment agency and do what you gotta do to survive. No one fully understands the toll it takes on us Xx

[Twiglet2]

no one should judge your for this at all and your gp should hopefully write something that stops them asking much. I haven’t taken sick leave but I have taken last minute annual leave and buggered off to somewhere sunny to have some me time on several occasions after failed transfers my boss has always understood)been a few different bosses male and female over the years).Thinking of you 💜 xx

[SMBCnewbie]

I didn't take time off and I really regret it. I had 2 weeks off over the egg retrieval and transfer but I was at work the morning I got my bfn. Noone at work knew but my boss. I ended up breaking down 3 days in to my work week and being sent home. I wasn't myself. I was more snappy and tearful and I don't like how I reacted to certain situations where I'd normally be more in control. Its very personal. Being at work is a distraction for some people. Be kind to yourself and do what you feel you need to do, for you. X

[Citizenerased83]

So sorry, your transfer didn't work. It is such an emotional rollercoaster with mainly downs than ups in my experience. I took a few days annual leave when my last transfer didn't work a few weeks ago. My boss said I could take sick leave but I was in my probation and you don't get paid for sick days then so I used some annual leave. Be gentle with yourself and I really hope it works for you next time if you're in a position to try again xx

acas.org.uk/your-maternity-... - some useful info here about rights

[Koala365]

I didn't take any time off for my first 4 stimulation cycles but then I pretty much hit rock bottom and wasn't performing well at work. Even my egg collections were on a Saturday. I just tried to arrange early scans and explain I had medical appointments when going for the fresh transfers. I tried to test on a weekend so I had time off to try to get over the upset. I did take one day of holiday or sick leave on the day of a pregnancy test at the end of the TWW on my 4th cycle but nobody needed to know why! For my 5th and 6th cycle, I was just in such a bad way that I spoke to work and they were very understanding- turned out the boss's best mate had been through IVF. They let me have time off for the whole IVF process and I therefore came back when I was ready. I still did arguably come back too soon. I would definitely take yourself at least a week after testing and test on a Sat am if you can so you have that extra time. Then set yourself up in front of the TV by lunchtime with some cheese you can't eat in pregnancy and a large glass of wine and lost of chocolate and watch your favourite TV programme or movie or detective series - nothing baby related and remind yourself how much you enjoy doing this, how you couldn't do this if you were pregnant and start thinking about what you want from your future when you get over the sadness of what didn't happen this time. Take time during that week off to treat yourself well. Legally I believe you are protected from an employment law perspective (at least in Englnad) and treated as pregnant from embryo transfer until 2 weeks after you find out you are not pregnant although if your work doesn't know I guess you can't be treated that way if you get what I mean. I'll see if I can find something about that somewhere. All the best. Xx

[Emilye92x]

I was very open at work about our IVF journey and thankfully very supported. My GP signed me off for stress for 2 weeks post our chemical last May and goodness me did it help (I work as a childrens nurse which really didnt help my worry). My colleagues were very gentle with me and my manager actually asked if I needed longer off

So so sorry to hear the sad news, take all the time that you need please don't stress about anyone or anything else at this time. Look after you and yours, be selfish, treat yourself well during this time xxx