Lost…… 💔

[IVFbaby2021]

Hello, hope everyone is doing ok.

No positive stories from me, just heartbroken & a bit lost as to how to move on.

Found out yesterday due to my age (40) our IVF journey is over as no more funding from NHS & we can’t afford to go private. I’ve been left with unexplained infertility & no more help now given.

Full TTC journey, been trying for over 4.5 years, first natural chemical in June 2019, IVF started Apr 2021, first FET Sept 2021 ended in MMC at 10 weeks, Feb 2022 natural pregnancy another MMC at 9 weeks, failed FET June, Sept & Dec 2022. We did have another natural chemical at end Nov 2022.

Not sure why I’m posting this, maybe to vent, I just feel lost now as I still really dream & wish of having our own miracle, is it still possible? Does anyone have any success stories to share? Drowning in my own tears just now while writing this 🤷🏼‍♀️

Baby dust to everyone, hopefully one day it’s everyone’s time right??!! xxx

[Star241]

I am so sorry to hear this it is incredibly difficult when you feel there is no clear next step, I think there is always hope. I was told in January I had about 1% chance of ivf or a natural conception and I had resigned myself then and started to mentally move on and just took some time to enjoy life, there were lots of social events going on and work was busy but in a good way, then in May I found out I was pregnant and have now a 9 day old baby boy. I am not sure if this helps but feel free to reach out, I also did some counselling sessions when I was having a hard time with my husband and just not agreeing on any next steps and we were just not in agreement on how our journey might continue and that also helped me voice my frustration and it did also help me a lot. Take care xx

[AuroraXen]

I'm so sorry Lovely. I'd say there is definitely still hope though, based on your history, especially! You know you CAN get pregnant, so it's 'just' a matter of getting that good egg and good sperm together. They don't come along so often when you're older, but often they're there 😘 I fell pregnant for the first time in October, naturally. We were unexplained too, probably age. We're only halfway, so a long way still to go... But there is hope at least! Lots of couples with 'unexplained infertility' do manage to have babies after IVF, remember that. It isn't necessarily over. I'd focus on taking the best care of yourself you can, take all the supplements, get your partner taking supplements too, and give it your best shot (whilst trying to live your lives too!) xx

[Hidden]

I honestly could have burst into tears when you wrote that you were drowning in your own whilst sharing your experience… I have been there… this is an incredibly painful journey and it’s not always easy to navigate all the different emotions we might have as we traverse bereavement and loss.

There is a book called Living the Life Unexpected by Jody Day and even though I’m still in the midst of treatment, and you may also go on to have more support on your fertility journey…. I read this book at a time when I had had 4 failed transfers, as I felt as though I needed to go through the process of finding out if I would be ‘okay’ without children… and if I could survive that reality.

It’s okay to grieve and mourn the life we so desperately wanted… for me it helped me to come to a place where I could try again.

If you can, I’d definitely recommend counselling, even if it’s a one off session with a counsellor that specialises in loss.

… but also, look into immune testing. It maybe be more affordable than IVF… but maybe there are some answers there.

Hope you get to have your rainbow baby xx but that if you don’t that you will find a beautiful path all the same.

[M_fox]

I’m so sorry to hear this, it’s heartbreaking the journey we are on and when we don’t get answers it doesn’t make it any easier. If it helps I had unexplained infertility but nhs wouldn’t fund me due to my age and weight. Couldn’t afford private when I was forty but saved.. at 46 we went for tests but due to low AMH, donor eggs were recommended. It’s not for everyone and not a definite thing but I guess I’m saying don’t give up on your dreams. You just never know what the future might bring xx sending you lots of hugs xx

[Kitkat10]

yes definitely very possible to conceive naturally. You have conceived naturally already more than once so I think you have good chances. I’m 42 so I do understand the reality of age on egg quality and my consultant told me that only 1 in 8 eggs will be normal so really it’s a matter of that egg coming up and it will. Keep going, you have every chance.

I had no natural option as my partner is infertile but I know it’s still tough when you feel like there’s no treatment option. Lots and lots of women conceive naturally well into their 40’s. Keep positive (I absolutely know how tough this is) and keep going 🍀 x

[Jess1981]

I'm so sorry to hear of your losses and tough journey you've had. We spent 7 years TTC for our first daughter Francesca to cut a long story short we conceived her after I had my third laparoscopic surgery to treat endometriosis ( which took nearly 6 years of TTC to diagnose and 3 years of abnormalities in my periods good old NHS..once Francesca was a year old we started to try again! Madness!! Anyway I sadly lost our second daughter Amelia at 20 weeks November 2020 - heartbroken forever we tried again had our second chemical January 2021 ( had 1 before Francesca) then another loss at 6/7 weeks March referred to miscarriage clinic who like Amelia didn't find a cause for them. I wondered if my age was making miscarriage more likely ( was 39 at the time) the miscarriage agreed to the steroids next pregnancy which resulted in our third daughter Eliza who turns 1 next week! I was 40 years old when I had her. We really didn't think we'd get a younger sibling for our daughter ( I have a son Jamie but he's grown up and a lot older than Francesca!) it was upsetting and frustrating to experience recurring miscarriages and the uncertainty if any pregnancy would ever bring us a baby. If you haven't already be referred to a miscarriage specialist- they will conduct investigations to see if a cause can be established. Sometimes they can't always determine a cause- but that's not to say you can't have a baby. You will get better pregnancy care if you are under a miscarriage specialist- they will give 2 extra scans in the early weeks at 7&9 weeks which helps you survive the first trimester ( tho I never managed to relax at all with Eliza..) I wish you the best- there are many women in their 40s having babies.I hope that is you soon Xx

[Divii]

how’re you doing?