Advice on staying calm/ not feeling mad anxiety!

[Kmcdon]

Having been through a total horror show the last few years (2 miscarriages, one chemical, countless BFN), I’m having another transfer next month. All gone to plan so far and have started medication in preparation. However since starting medication I’ve just felt incredibly anxious. Stomach constantly turning over, tight chested. I’ve done all the things you’re meant to - deep breathing (well tried it but hard with tight chest), doing something “relaxing “, going for a walk etc but just feel completely overwhelmed.

Any other advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I don’t think it helped that a friend told me she was pregnant last week and said she hoped we could have babies at the same time. I know she was only trying to be supportive and positive as she knows what I’ve been through but honestly felt like a complete and utter failure.

Every time I think of transfer I think of then it not working or yet another miscarriage. Then I think that all this anxiety will have a negative impact so if it doesn’t work (again) it will be my fault.

Sorry for the rant but just needed to put it out there in the hope that that might help!

xxx

[CarlottaD27]

Hi! I'm so sorry to hear what you've been through and you have every right to feel anxious - there are studies that show infertility is one of the greatest traumas someone can go through.

I also struggle with anxiety and wish i had the answer! To share what helps me - I really need to do something to distract my mind, like colouring in on concentrating on researching something. Things like hot baths and deep breathing are calming but don't stop my mind wondering... Hope that helps a bit! x

[Eloquentia]

I am sorry that you have been through such a difficult IVF journey! What helped me with anxiety was reflexology. Surprisingly relaxing and energising for the whole body. I did 3 sessions before my last transfer and felt great! Good luck!

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi Kmcdon. Oh dear you've been having a tough time of it. Not much you can do about other babies, as they are always going to be about. Perhaps have your pregnant friend round for coffee and explain how you are feeling, and that you may not be able to support her as she had hoped. try and keep busy as much as you can. There is a yoga class on this week for free, so perhaps have a look at that. Details further up this page in events for this week or look at the Home Page on the website. Obviously I hope this is your year and I shall be thinking of you. Good luck! Diane