Third failed cycle 😭😭: Hi everyone... - Fertility Network UK

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Third failed cycle 😭😭

Joeysjourney profile image
26 Replies

Hi everyone. Got the horrible news today that my 3rd transfer has failed. No implantation once again and no Christmas miracle. To say I'm upset is an understatement.

I cant believe the bad luck we've had, we can't even get out of the starting blocks. Only ever had one natural pregnancy in 7 years and that ended quickly in a chemical. I'm 41 now. Soon to be 42.

This time we added steroids, a scratch and I'd a sis scan to rule out lining issues. I also did microbiome testing of my lining and all was clear.

When I got the news in March that I'd 3 blasts, I naively thought we were in with a great chance! 2 down and no further on. My embryos are 2 x 3bbs (both now unsuccessfully transferred) and a remaining 2bb.

Choices now are transfer my 2bb, have another collection, go donor or give up.

Something surely isn't right here to have such a awful run. Has anyone any insight?

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Joeysjourney
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26 Replies
-noodles- profile image
-noodles-

I am really sorry. It’s so cruel and unfair.

I had 3 failed cycles in 2017-18 and was never given any explanation - 5 embryos in total and none implanted. Fast forward a few years it emerged I had silent endometriosis. I had a laparoscopy, and was encouraged this would make a difference. Still nothing.

So much in this field is an unknown - even the diagnoses, “unexplained infertility” - we have to live with that ambiguity!

I was lucky to have 4 Frosties. I can’t even remember their quality as egg collection was +6 years ago.

It’s so hard, but try not to get hung up on quality. Lots of girls here will attest, it only takes one little fighter.

You don’t need to make a decision straight away. Give yourself some time to heal. You’re allowed to feel angry. It’s a terrible thing to go through, and is often a lonely journey. Don’t forget everyone here understands. Come here to rant.

Sending love & light ✨💕✨

Joeysjourney profile image
Joeysjourney in reply to-noodles-

Thanks for your lovely message! It's so so hard. I suspected endo as my periods can be painful although they are regular and not particularly heavy. My consultant doesn't suspect endo and we agreed to do a saline scan to see if it needed more investigation

But it came back clear. I'm not minded to have an operation I don't need but at the same time, how has nothing implantated in 7 years! Apart from that one short lived chemical.

The whole thing is driving me mad and add my age into the mix and I just can't see a way out of it. If I go for a lap, it will push back my next collection ill be 42. My chances for success will be even worse then x

-noodles- profile image
-noodles- in reply toJoeysjourney

I totally understand your frustrations - I’ve felt so many times I’m losing my mind over the years. You’re in good company.

Look how much you’ve come through - you are so strong 💪🏻 Maybe make a plan for next steps in January?

My periods also only last a couple of days & sex painful, but I was cynical about endo diagnosis as I’ve known girls in agony with it. I was going through non invasive fertility treatment at the time and that clinic really pushed for Laps (I honestly thought clinic were in cahoots with gynae who carried out Laps 🤪 infertility sends us mad!) I was also told chances of conception improve in the 6-8 months post Lap.

With my most recent cycle, consultant told me endo is so common that if they looked hard enough they’d find endo in most women! 🤦🏻‍♀️ Don’t know what to think.

I’m also 42, so totally get it, but lots of women here have conceived in their mid-40s.

I hope you get through Christmas okay - fill your shopping trolley with chocolates & Prosecco (or whatever you’ve been missing!)

Sending big hugs 🤗

I’m so sorry to see this update Joey.

I can’t offer any insights as I am very new to all this and have only had one transfer, but also found out today that things have ended as a chemical pregnancy, so I have some understanding of how devastated you are feeling right now.

Sending you love, take care x

Joeysjourney profile image
Joeysjourney in reply toWaitingonarainbow

So sorry you've also had a bfn today! I really is so so hard and unfair! I hope you have plenty of support xx

HedgehogMad profile image
HedgehogMad

Don't have much to offer in terms of advice but just wanted to say that I'm so sorry for the negative 💔 this journey is so shit. You are not alone xxx

Solly-44 profile image
Solly-44

I’m so sorry Joey, sending you a big hug xx

Chel91 profile image
Chel91

So so sorry lovely 💔 It's so unfair and heartbreaking. Sending love xx

Nenad profile image
Nenad

so sorry to hear this Joey :(

Re endometriosis the only way I knew I had it was because I had really awful ovulation cramps (and also pain during sex). Otherwise there are no real obvious signs besides infertility.

The only thing I would suggest based on my new clinic’s advice (and others here on this forum) is embryo testing, which is especially useful at our age I’m told. I’ll give it one more shot next year and will test any embryos we produce, even if we end up with nothing. I’d rather give it my all than go through this experimental situation with untested embryos. Just my two pence. Haven’t tested mine this year and all transfers have failed. Let’s see. It’s a terrible journey isn’t it? Lots of virtual hugs xx

lmelling28 profile image
lmelling28

please don’t give up!! I tried for 7 years! 6 transfers! First 5 didn’t work… 6th transfer I got two embryos put in… I now have TWO 8 month old miracle babies 💙💙 honestly never ever thought it Wud happen .. I feel ur pain xxx

Banana77 profile image
Banana77

Thinking of you hopefully when you are ready you can try again xx

Gabriella89 profile image
Gabriella89

really sorry you’re having to go through this - I had the same - 3 transfers with no implantation. Have you done any immune testing at all?

Poppygarden profile image
Poppygarden

Really sorry to hear the above Joey. Thinking of you at this difficult time. So many of us understand the pain. Hope you are able to rest and recover and wishing you all the best for what you decide to do next x

Socs8 profile image
Socs8

It sounds like a lot of tests but you don't mention. PGS testing. Given your age (I'm the same) this is very likely to be a contributing factor. I've only had implantation success after using testing embryos. Fingers crossed for you

rt03 profile image
rt03

Hi Joey,

My aunt got pregnant when she was 43. So don’t worry about the age. I wish and hope that 2023 will be your year ❤️

Megrumpy profile image
Megrumpy

Just to add a glimmer of hope. We had 3 fresh transfers, 2 frozen transfers. 2 of the fresh transfers were with 2 blastocysts and only ever got 1 chemical. Most with excellent grade blastocysts. Got told that we were just REALLY unlucky. Convinced our specialist to go out on a limb and change by levothryoxine dose. And we now have two 6-month old miracle babies babies from a double transfer. I was 38 at the time of egg collection. BUT our specialist still thinks it had nothing to do with my thyroid, we just finally got lucky. ALSO our last specialist pointed out that this is why some countries fund 5 fresh cycles as however well diagnosed you are, some of it will always be down to luck. 🤷

Melody79 profile image
Melody79

sorry to hear this and i know how you feel. I've had 3 transfers now, 1st with one and 2 with double blastocysts and none have stuck..now waiting to do a frozen transfer with my last 2 blastocysts and putting so much pressure on myself to make it work...but honestly it's unknown what will help make them stick. Give time before you transfer your final one but if it's frozen and if it was me, i'd give it another go at collection (i'm 43 so I wanted to do my collections) and a transfer. Take care and give yourself some time..hard I know and I feel my time is running out but honestly you have to be in a good place x

Tnthketnf profile image
Tnthketnf

So sorry to see this. It is heartbreaking.

I have had 4 cycles and equal number of unsuccessful transfers and poor quality embryos frozen. I spoke to independent consultants and their view was to transfer what I already have first. Which what I did, currently 7dp5dt. Not the slightest symptom so not expecting anything. Scared to test.

Maybe it's worth considering a natural transfer for your last embryo just to save yourself all the extra medications that standard hrt protocol makes you take. And it's a lot quicker.

Or if you do go for another OE cycle perhaps it's an idea to go for the retrieval first and then transfer you 2bb along with any new embryos.

DE treatment takes the time pressure away a little bit and rates a lot better but a big big decision.

I don't know if any of this is helpful. It's all the thoughts I have had and will have in a few days..I am leaning towards the DE gor myself but still not all the way there. It doesn't help that my husband would favour another chance with my eggs first. I guess the financial factor will come in too.

I am so sorry again. Sending hugs xx

Noahsmummy2018 profile image
Noahsmummy2018

Just wanted to say don't give up - I'm currently trying for ivf baby number 2 - I have a 4 year old boy who was a bad quality embryo but he's here 😊 so definitely would say don't read too much into the quality, as it really is just the way they can access at that really early stage, it doesn't really matter. I also had a chemical pregnancy with my last remaining embryo in August this year which was also bad quality. Since then, two fresh cycles have resulted in nothing 😩 I've had some blood tests done today to check for any nutritional deficiencies? I have pcos and a high amh level, I produce alot of eggs but the quality is a different story 😩 all I can say is don't lose hope just because of the quality of the embryo isn't as good as you'd like.

Noahsmummy2018 profile image
Noahsmummy2018 in reply toNoahsmummy2018

Assess* not access 🤣

Kipepeo profile image
Kipepeo

I'm sorry, it's such a difficult journey that we have to go through and it's so unfair.

Have you heard of the EndomeTrio test (ERA, Alice & Emma)? I think after three failed implantations it's definitely worth considering. And possibly a hysteroscopy.

Given that you will be 42 soon, it might be a good idea to do another collection asap, with a view to freeze all, then do whatever testing you decide on before doing another transfer.

I had 3 failed transfers then discovered a bad infection when I did the EndomeTrio test. It was easily treatable with antibiotics. A consultant told me that I might as well have been throwing embryos onto a frying pan with that infection :/

Also the ERA part of the test is to do with identifying the correct implantation window in relation to how many days progesterone you should take before transfer. Afaik 5 days is standard, but some people need slightly more or less to have the optimum conditions for implantation at the time of transfer.

I hope that you can take time to regroup over Christmas, and are able to face the new year with a new plan.

K

I am so sorry about this. Have you got tested for autoimmune or NK cells or Anti-TPO levels? I had a few failed implantations. Then when I only had two last embryos left I did a lot of research and followed a protocol by a reproductive immunologist that involved Intralipids, hydroquinone and predinosolone. I also asked them to use embryo glue and got HGH injected just before the transfer. I made sure they played soothing spiritual music at the time of the transfer. Oh and I also had a very small dose of Valium just before the transfer. I am not sure what worked but I had my miracle baby (now 11 months) from that transfer. Wishing you all the very best for your next transfer. I suggest use your remaining embryo, or go for another retrieval - you have to give it your best. There are so many things you could potentially do to improve egg quality (although the clinics don’t agree). And I hate that clinics don’t suggest everything or present the research that’s available to the patients. I guess we all have to be our own best advocates, I learnt this after all the failed implementation where my perfect embryos were all wasted.

Joeysjourney profile image
Joeysjourney

Hi everyone, just wanted to thank you all for your kind and informative responses. It's been a very hard few days and my husband and I feel hopeless. He's at a point of giving up and I don't blame him. He doesn't want to keep throwing money at this. I remain naively optimistic!

We have a follow up booked in the first week of Jan so we will have to see what our consultant advises. It looks more and more like my body is failing me with recurrent implantation failure and I hope my consultant is progressive enough to recognise that.

Hoping you all have a peaceful Christmas and that we all have a better 2023! Xx

AuroraXen profile image
AuroraXen in reply toJoeysjourney

Hi Lovely, I know this post is a few weeks old but just wondered how you got on with your follow-up appointment? Hope you're ok xx

Joeysjourney profile image
Joeysjourney in reply toAuroraXen

Hiya lovely. Thank you for checking in! Follow up was fine. My consultant doesn't think anything else is to blame except the embryos. He has agreed to up my steroids next time and if the next transfer doesn't work, he said we can do era Emma Alice. But again, he doesn't suspect any of that really is the issue. Just a case of finding the right embryo!

I do wish he had a totally different plan for me but he was happy that I managed to get 6 blasts out of 10 eggs last time, although just the 3 were freezable. So he doesn't want to change too much.

I spoke to him about donor but he doesn't feel like we are there yet.

Starting stims in a few weeks and we might try a lower dose this time to see if we can keep my oestrogen from spiking and aim for a fresh transfer or depending on the result, we may do another collection immediately after.

I really don't know if I'm doing the right thing or if we should be testing more before proceeding, but the more I read about the tests and the hfea website, the more I really do wonder about their effectiveness.

How is your little bump coming along? Its stories like yours that keep me going! I was lucky/unlucky enough to experience a natural pregnancy last year after my failed fet. Although it ended in a chemical for me, it's amazing we can do it naturally after all the years of ivf and ttc! Xxx

AuroraXen profile image
AuroraXen in reply toJoeysjourney

I agree, it sounds like you're not ready for donor eggs yet. 6 blasts from 10 eggs is great! I think you're right, IVF is so often just a numbers game, managing to hit on that one great embryo. I do wonder sometimes if our chances would have been as good just trying naturally as they were under our IVF cycles! But then I think, the IVF boosts your egg collection, having ICSI actually takes away some of that 'will they won't they actually meet' worry, etc. I really really hope your next cycle works for you 😘💚 You're right, your experience proved last year that your body CAN get pregnant, and that's massive, that's the thing to hold onto. I genuinely thought my body was just incapable, until it happened. I still can't really process it, to be honest... it sounds so ungrateful but I'm anxious such a lot of the time 😆 It's sad that after everything, it seems so hard to enjoy pregnancy. I'm really hoping that if all is ok at 20 weeks (I'm 18 and a half weeks now) I will be able to start feeling like this is actually happening and relax a bit more! xx

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