First period after failed IVF 😢 - Fertility Network UK

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First period after failed IVF 😢


My first period after IVF and I’m feeling a mixture of relief that my body is working and doing its own thing as nature intended, and feeling defeated and disappointed. I think the reality has sunk in that little bit more that this is the first of many periods to come in the next few months. I’ve made a plan and it all looks straightforward, know we’re doing the right things but when it’s written down on paper just 5 little bullet points, knowing that it could take a few months or few years to reach those steps and I find it all disheartening and I want to give up before I’ve even tried.

I can’t imagine what all you women go through when you have multiple bfn’s and/or failed cycles, I’ve only had one and it’s broken me, I wish I had your strength to keep trying but I just don’t know I have it.

Sorry for the miserable post, I’m just feeling really low today and don’t have anyone to talk to that understands how I feel.

19 Replies


Oh just reading your post made me feel so much for you.

I'm on my first cycle so I haven't gone through failed cycle or loss so I can't even imagine how you feel right now but my heart goes out to you.

It's absolutely normal to feel low.

Hoping you get your strength back very soon.


Sarah_a_2018 in reply to genten

Thank you, really hope you don’t have to go through this its one of the worst experiences of my life and I’ve had a lot to compare it to!

Good luck with your cycle 🙏🏻 Xx

I’m sorry you feel so bad. All I can tell you is that it does get better and not all days will be as bad as this one. I do a lot of counting my blessings and trying to be glad for everything I do have. It helps me. I don’t know if it will help you but I hope it is worth a try xx

Thanks Lizzie, I will definitely give it a try xx

Hi Sarah,

I understand what you are going through.

Yes, this is a tough process, mixture of hope, sorrow, excitement when there are good news and depression...

The rollercoaster!

I had 4 failed cycles, so believe me I felt the same way, but you will see, you need to take your time to feel better and then, you will find some strenght to go on.

For me, the fact to book the next appointment was giving me enough hope and energy to continue.

You will see this site will help you too.

You can also talk to your friends or therapist if you want.

The main message is that this is normal you feel bad, cry, shout... then try and build your strengh again and you will get there!

Take holidays with your hubby or go clubbing with friends... stop thinking about it for a bit may help too. We are all different so find what is best for you

I hope this helps a bit...

Sarah_a_2018 in reply to Ap98

Thank you, really does help xx

Hi there, BFN’s are rubbish. I’m in the same situation as you at the mo.

I know it’s a cliche, but with each day that passes, it does get a little easier to get your head round what’s happened. Although the hurt is still there.

To get me through, I try to focus on the good stuff that I have in my life e.g family, a roof over my head, health etc.

Am sending you big hugs 💕 xx

Sarah_a_2018 in reply to Lou7744

Thank you xx

Hiya, so sorry you’re feeling low today. I know how overwhelmed you feel right now. The only thing I can say to you is to try to take things one day at a time. I know that’s what I try to do when i feel things getting on top of me. Just keep doing the best you can each day. Wishing you all the very best xx

Sarah_a_2018 in reply to Dunla

Thanks Dunla, you’re right just taking things one day at a time is the best way to keep moving forward, I’m just so used to being able to make things happen for myself, this is beyond that I have no control over what’s going to happen and it’s frightening and overwhelming but I have to try or this really will never happen for us xx

Dunla in reply to Sarah_a_2018

I do understand what you say about feeling out of control. It’s one of the things I struggle with too.

So glad to hear you’ve had some counselling. I was going to suggest that. I think this will really help.

Also great to hear you’ve some nice things planned for your birthday weekend. Have a lovely time xx

Ahhh I think getting that first period is a huge reminder and smack in the face that we failed treatment! Try not to be so hard on yourself. It is hard waiting, you're so right. Do try to be kind to yourselves and plan something nice and hold onto each other does get easier!!xx

Thank you xx

I’m sorry you’re feeling so low. I know exactly how you feel. This journey has so many ups and downs. Take time for yourself and go through the process the good and bad. I think it’s wonde that you’ve taken time to write down a plan, it doesn’t have to be a long list. But it’s great you’ve written what you want and I hope you are able to fulfill them all. xx

Thanks everyone for all your lovely comments, they have been comforting, reassuring and really uplifting for me.

I’ve started seeing a therapist and she’s been helpful, hard to talk about as it’s all still quite raw.

We are working through the plan starting with our appointment with a fertility nutritionist on Tuesday but it will take some time to build myself back up emotionally before I’ll be ready to try this again but am going to focus on getting my body and mind working better again.

Today my husband is taking me shopping for my birthday which is on Monday, and a long overdue trip to the hairdressers this afternoon 😊

I’m so glad I found this group and really appreciate your support, I hate that we’re all going through this but still hoping this will all be worth it.

Have a lovely weekend ladies and thanks again xxx


I'm so sorry you're feeling so low. It's such a hard process that even after one cycle you are so exhausted. You probably need some time to heal both physically and emotionally. Sending you a huge hug xxx

Hi I totally understand what you going through... I have done two more pregnancy tests after very first one which was done on day 14 after embryo transfer. Still negative thinking oh maybe it's a mistake there might just be a second line appearing but nope nothing. I feel crappy and disappointed but looking as head I'm going to speak to the nurse at fertility today see where we go from here...? Chin up, have faith and try again after your feeling "we can do this" chick also go back to enjoying your life again because ivf just takes over your life hopes, hormones, emotions everything plays into it. I'm gona get back into the gym work my anger emotions off *hugs to all you lovely ladies* All the best Sarah 😙

Thank you it really help me to go over my first failed ivf cycle😘😘

I feel for you. It has been a long journey I’m sure. I’ve spent the last year being poked with needles, having MRI’s and internal ultrasounds to figure out what’s wrong with me. Been to an endocrinologist, then a fertility specialist. Finally got the go ahead and had 9 eggs retrieved, 5 fertilised and 2 made it to day 5. I had to refuse putting both in (not of great quality) due to the risk of multiple birth and my increased chance of miscarriage. The other embryo was not suitable for freezing, and I have had 3 negative tests.... I feel devastated! Then as if that was not hard enough to deal with I am having the most painful period of my life... life can be pretty cruel. So I know what you mean by feeling low. I hope you get another chance and it works out for you

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