Scared I may never be a mother

[Zina85]

Hi everyone, I'm 36 and have been trying to conceive for a few months now but nothing has worked so far. My fertility tests are booked for a few weeks from now and I'm just freaking out. I'm scared that there's something wrong with me which will prevent me from getting pregnant. I know I suffer with low egg reserve but I don't know much about it (did some tests years ago before having a round of IUI but didn't investigate properly at the time as I wasn't in the happiest relationship and kinda of felt relieved when IUI didn't work!). I'm now in a very healthy and happy relationship and all I want is a baby. I'm very scared as I'm not longer a young lady and something tells me I'll never get pregnant... Any word of comfort will be much appreciated ❤️

[Marisa32]

Low egg reserve is not a deal breaker. If all else is fine, you can get pregnant at this age. Do all the tests and if your AMH is extremely low, try natural or modified IVF with low stims.

[Zina85 in reply to Marisa32]

Thank you so much for this. I'm still not entirely sure I understand which one between conventional and natural IVF gives you higher chances of pregnancy. Thanks for this message.

[Marisa32 in reply to Zina85]

The conventional IVF with high stims doesn't do much for people with a very low AMH, that's why less is more in our case.

[Zina85 in reply to Marisa32]

Thank you!😘

[Bule84]

Hi Zina85,am so sorry that you going through a hard time at the moment.I know the feeling just like many ladies on here.But my advise is try to stay positive,don't rule anything out yet.There is a lot of tests and other treatments that u can try.There is a fertility clinic that may help you.Please private msg for details,they seem excellent and cost friendly for someone of your age.

[Zina85 in reply to Bule84]

Thank you so much. Of course I'm spending hours looking at stats online and it doesn't seem I've got many chances of getting pregnant. Plus my period has been doing all sorts of crazy things and in my head I'm premenopausal (mum hit menopause at 38). Tests are booked for next week and my consultation is in two weeks, the wait is killing me! Thank you so much for your message

[McQueeny]

I know that fear well, and sadly I don’t think anything anyone will say can really make it go away. But try and keep positive, keep persisting with tests and treatment and you’ve still got a good chance. I got pregnant for the first time at 36, a friend of mine at 41! So it’s all possible, keep looking forward and don’t give up 🤞💪

[Zina85 in reply to McQueeny]

Thank you so much. These messages do help and give hope. It's becoming clearer and clearer that I need support to go through this and you guys are helping!

[Hidden]

Sorry you are feeling down. To be honest 36 is quite young in the context of this forum, there are many girls on here quite a lot older than you and still trying, so try not to panic too much. Also trying for a few months isn't really that long at all given we only have a few days per month that we can get pregnant, say you have been trying six months, thats probably a maximum of 30 fertile days out of 180!! So the odds kind of are against you - it doesn't necessarily mean you are going to have issues or have problems. There are loads of success stories on here either through IVF or many people get that 'miracle' pregnancy just as they are about to start IVF.. keep thinking positive and you will get there. Good luck x

[Savvy_teapot]

Hi Zina Sorry you are feeling worried. Take a moment! Also I would say make sure your partner has some tests too aswell. It's good you have your consultation booked it try and wait until then to think about the next steps. Be kind to yourself as its pretty stressful going through the tests but hopefully you will get the results soon.

[Zina85 in reply to Savvy_teapot]

Thank you so much. I guess I'll have to try and learn to be patient

[sun-and-rain in reply to Zina85]

Patience is alpha and omega in this game... Even if they rule out what's wrong and do everything needed to fix it, it might still take months, even years to achieve what you long for. That doesn't mean you won't achieve it! This just isn't a quick fix. Just that. I remember believing so strongly that I would succeed at first try (as there wasn't any known issue for neither my husband nor I), so after a BFP at first try, I was totally devastated when I started bleeding a couple of days later. It took me another two years and five transfers to get my lovely boy. Did I need patience? Loads! Was it worth it? Definitely!!! I don't write this to discourage you, quite the contrary as you also might be one of the lucky bastards to have success at first try (as did my cousin in law just a couple of weeks before I failed my third transfer - I could've strangled her (no, I couldn't, but it was a tough year until I finally made it myself)), but I just confirm to you what you wrote yourself. Take care, and don't doubt to come back here to the forum to get more support and hope from other's experiences!!! ❤️❤️❤️

[Zina85 in reply to sun-and-rain]

I hope I'll learn how to be patient. Thanks for this message, it does help a lot to hear other people's stories!

[sun-and-rain in reply to Zina85]

You will ❤️

[Savvy_teapot in reply to sun-and-rain]

Also I meant not panicking right now although defo easier said than done. There is so much you can't control which you want to and that's the worst and the waiting. But a few weeks and you will have the results. Ours were unexplained but my partner has very poor morphology of his sperm. There is so much to learn about aswell. Maybe have a look at some IVF books if you want to learn more and some are more personal stories. Some time gathering info is a way of gaining control for a bit! 💜

[Jenniwenni]

That fear of 'never getting pregnant' is utterly terrifying. I really feel your pain. It's the worst.

I always try to think about how many options we have available to us these days to have children. The science is incredible.

I imagine once you've had your investigations and spoken to people about the different options, you may start to feel more hopeful. ❤️

[Zina85]

Thank you, I can't wait to get it done and over with!