Egg collection in 3 hours!

[Brownbaby2021]

Hi everyone. Today is egg collection day and as far as I can tell everything has gone fine so far. At the scan on Monday we had 3 follicles that were the required size, and another 2 that were marginally below, so I'm hopeful. It's our first cycle.

I just wanted to get your advice on how to approach things if we're not successful. My wife is not especially expressive but I know she's anxious. I want to be as prepared as possible to support her as I know she's feeling stressed. Any advice?

[MrsOrangejuice]

Good luck for today. My immediate reaction is that if you're asking for help on how to support your wife you're probably already very well qualified to be the most supportive and compassionate partner, and I'm sure many of us on here would wish for this level of concern and attentiveness! But yes, the egg collection is stressful for a lot of reasons and you will both have a lot invested in it. Specifically on how successful or not it is, it's so variable - sometimes the clinics give you highly inflated expectations about numbers of eggs in particular, or they can be the opposite and very pessimistic. Then there can be high or low fertilization, and sometimes (not often) all go to blast and other times there's a really big drop off. More blasts potentially mean more chances of success but not necessarily as there can be other factors at play, and on the other hand you really do only need one. Personally I found the days between collection and transfer the most stressful but also exciting - waiting on phone call updates on how yours are doing is a killer, and totally out of your control. Try and see the positives in whatever outcome you get at that stage. Maybe also try to distract yourselves - a meal, long walks (depending on how your wife's feeling - she may just want to lie on the sofa and rest) but me and my OH probably only had one topic of conversation during that time and I found it near impossible to concentrate on work or anything else - my instincts were telling me to go and watch over the 'little ones' with the embryologist if I had been allowed.

So success probably depends on your expectations before and after - the first round tends to be a bit experimental and if you do need to or decide to do another, you are much better informed and prepared. Take it a day or even an hour at a time and think about just how incredible the whole process is and what you've both done - there will probably be disappointments and these can feel like massive crashes after everything you've been through, but usually hope and positivity comes back eventually and if you can be there for each other as you cope in your own ways you'll get through no matter the outcome. Oh and if she throws things at you, don't take it personally, just leave her to reset and then offer sugary tea Best of luck ☘️

[Brownbaby2021 in reply to MrsOrangejuice]

Ah, thanks for your supportive message and kind words.She's taken today and tomorrow off work so that she has plenty of time to recover. And I've already been told what she wants for lunch and dinner today so I guess we're all set.

She's aware of success rates and I know she's hopeful without being expectant. I feel like the next few days will be most stressful so it might be time for the new episodes of Ozark!

[JoyfulStar in reply to Brownbaby2021]

Great plan to watch the new episodes of Ozark 😊 For a fourth season it was really gripping but it is just the first part of a 2 part series so ends on a cliff hanger.

As already said, those days between egg collection and embryo transfer can be very stressful as you are waiting on updates which you have no control over so distraction always helps. My advice is hope for the best but expect the worst

The only other advice I can give if you are having a fresh transfer is to ask your clinic if you don’t know already whether they can do day 3 transfers especially if you end up with a low fertilisation rate. Some people like to wait to day 5 but some clinics would transfer sooner if you have lower numbers.

All the best hun x

[MrsOrangejuice in reply to Brownbaby2021]

Lunch and dinner orders are also crucial, forgot that

[letro112]

My advice is prepare for the worst and hope for the best.Our first cycle we only had 3 follicles .. most would have cancelled but we pushed on.. got 2 great blasts and transfered but they resulted in CP. Our next 2 cycles we got nothing retrieved. This was hard emotionally.

We perservered and our next 2 cycles got us 6 mature and 4 blasts and 5 mature and 3 blasts.

Think of it as a process.. a step at a time. If you have a bad cycle be prepared for this too, know your both strong enough to carry on. And understand that sometimes stimulation meds can react differently every month, or in my case I did different protocols to find the right one.

We went in with this approach for our first cycle and it did us well, regardless of the final outcome, however the next 2 cycles we had expectations and so found it way more emotionally challenging when we were faced with such bad news at earlier hurdles.

I will be hoping and praying this cycle will be your success!!!!

[Brownbaby2021]

Thanks for your replies and guidance. I just found out that I was 0% prepared for the nurse to bring her back while she's still sleeping. 😢