Am I going crazy?

[emcollier126]

Hi everyone. Quick background - I’ve suffered with endometriosis and other fertility struggles for going on 11 years now. Was told from a young age I’d probably never conceive due to what’s going on.

Fast forward to now, I’ve been advised to try and conceive naturally for 6 months, if nothing then I could get some help. Great!

We’ve been trying for over 6 months now, more like 11 (due to all the covid restrictions and stuff my appointments kept being moved or cancelled). I’ve been tracking ovulation and testing for ovulation as much as I can possibly get my head around. I’m currently 9DPO but I took two pregnancy tests because I felt…different. Call me stupid I know but I’ve been having all these weird things happening that have never happened before. Admittedly my first test was 7DPO so I wasn’t expecting anything - but I saw the faintest of faint lines. Thought I was going mad so left it two days and tested again this morning. Exact same thing. Faint line, except this time I saw it quicker. Am I going mad? Stupidly I didn’t take a picture of them! They both had a pink ish tinge to them.

I’m sat here thinking I’m going crazy and getting like eyes because I want to see it so bad, but it’s there I’m sure of it. I don’t really want to ask fiancé as he’d get really excited and I don’t want him to be upset if it’s nothing.

Now I know it’s early - I’m impatient! My question is should I keep testing everyday until either I get a strong positive or I get my period? Or should I wait? I don’t know what to do!

Please help! Also please don’t judge me, I know it’s a long post I’m just confused and don’t know what to do!

[Fruitandflowers]

Hi there. Very similar - had gynae issues since I was a child, then finally after years got diagnosed with endometriosis (by then almost gone as I had self-treated with the pill). Told from a young age inconsistently I'd struggle to have kids or that I'd have no problem! Anyway, nothing happened in seven years off the pill so IVF. I'd never had a positive pregnancy test but the I didn't really test after a few months even when quite late as it got a bit soul-destroying when period eventually turned up. However, I did get positives this year after IVF transfers - I tested super early (I guess equivalent of 10DPO and 8DPO) and they were very faint. First response early seemed to be the most reliable and I don't think they can give false positives. The lines got darker and that's what you want to look out for - best to check every couple of days and sometimes your first morning urine may not be the strongest (mine was always much stronger in the afternoon/evening). You might be a bit early but the digital ones are more definitive and could try them in a few days. Or get your GP to do a blood test, or even do an online HCG self-test, then again a couple of days later to check it's rising. Tentative congratulations though as generally a line's a line!

[emcollier126 in reply to Fruitandflowers]

Hi thank you for replying! It’s refreshing to know there’s others in a similar boat who know what it’s like when you get your hopes up and then you feel utterly crushed when your period eventually comes!

I didn’t know if I was going crazy or not. Obviously I want it more than anything in the world but I’m so used to negative test after negative test that I didn’t know if it was pure exhaustion 😅

I used the First Response Early one for both of them and that’s what gave me the faint lines. I’ve not used the pregnancy strip tests as not sure if they’re as reliable. I’ll take your advice and maybe get a digital one in a few days.

I think you’re right about the morning one as I’m generally up and down in the night but I can get myself to hold for a couple hours in the afternoon to test.

Thank you so much. I’m keeping everything crossed! X

[RecipIVF]

Nothing to judge here! If I was you I’d keep testing each day, I can’t stand the mental torture of the what’s ifs! Lots of luck! Xx

[emcollier126 in reply to RecipIVF]

Thank you! I know some people would call me mad but I just don’t know! I’m keeping everything crossed but trying not to get too excited just in case! Thank you x x

[Jess1981]

I also have endometriosis it’s such a rubbish condition to have and so not understood within the medical community ( until you get to an endo specialist) I’ve suffered awful periods from word go and can remember missing school due to them! I didn’t get my endo diagnosis until we’d been TTC 5 years and 10 months and had been under a general gynae who didn’t know what was causing my symptoms 😒 the first fertility specialist dismissed my symptoms but the second fertility specialist was amazing and diagnosed it 🤩 had our first ever BFP was a chemical pregnancy and my endo re grew rapidly and I had another 2 surgeries last one July 2018 with an endo surgeon this was the turning point in our journey. We conceived our 2 year old daughter Francesca 2 months later ( whose 3 in June!) we then decided to try again for a sibling for her when she was a year old. We conceived our daughter Amelia very quickly. ( not like Francesca!) but very sadly lost her at 20 weeks pregnant in November 2020 ( she had no heartbeat at the 20 weeks scan) after losing Amelia we had another chemical pregnancy in January 2021 and then another miscarriage at 7 weeks in March 2021. Got referred to a miscarriage specialist investigations like Amelias post mortem revealed no obvious cause. Had a month off trying so emotionally done in by losses. Conceived in June 2021 and I’m now 34 weeks pregnant. I know what it feels like trying and having period turns up 🥲 it’s impossible not have any hope. Hope kept us going. Apart from our first 2 pregnancies where I waited for the period to not show up I have tested early with the other 4 pregnancies at 12 days post ovulation and even then had very faint tests - clearblue only said 1-2 weeks pregnant and the first response were very faint tests. And yours is even earlier so I would say not to worry as its very early still on should get darker as time goes on! Another serial tester here 🙈😂 I’m wishing you the best and hope all goes well Xx

[emcollier126 in reply to Jess1981]

I hate it so much, it’s literally made me hate my body and myself! It makes me feel like a fraud and it just messes with my head. I’m sorry for your losses, that must’ve been so difficult and I can’t imagine the pain but thank you for sharing your experiences with me. And also congratulations, hope everything goes smoothly for you! I’m just keeping all things crossed. Fingers, toes, everything I can possible cross 😂

Thank you very much and I hope all goes well with the rest of your pregnancy! X x

[Positivechangeplease]

Ooh Congratulations!!! Take another test tomorrow and show him! He has to be in this with you whatever the journey. Such lovely news from such a long time of disappointment ☺️

[emcollier126 in reply to Positivechangeplease]

Thank you! I’m going to test again in a couple days to be sure of it or see what happens, but I really hope so. I just guess I was scared to tell him because he’d get really over excited and I would hate to see him crushed worst case scenario! I’ve talked to him and told him what’s happening tho. Thank you so much! I’ll come back with an update! X