Can anyone relate?

[Navyblue97]

Hi all ❤️

Does it ever get easier? I lost my baby a month ago now and would’ve been 17 weeks today. Just had the news my friend is now pregnant.

I’m so happy for her because I know the feeling and it’s beautiful but I can’t help but be sad as well, so sad I’m crying.

I keep seeing pregnancies and they were due around the Same time as me and I just breakdown every time.

[COAGMS]

Oh NavyBlue I’m so sorry for your pain. You’ll never forget but I promise it does get a little bit easier.

Sending you all my love xx

[Navyblue97 in reply to COAGMS]

Thank you for your words ❤️

[hoping2021]

Hi Navyblue97 , I’m sorry for your loss. There’s no word in the English language that describes feeling joy for someone else but sad and sorry about ones own situation. This is a common emotion amongst many of us women on here… so you are not alone. Don’t feel guilty about your feelings, cry if you need to (but set a limit on it)… and plan to do something today that will bring some pleasure- whether it’s having a delicious coffee out, or walking in the mud outside. I’m in a similar boat and just about to head out for a walk in the rain and a coffee! Xxx

[Navyblue97 in reply to hoping2021]

Thank you for this! I had my cry I’ll try make this day productive. Thank u❤️❤️

[MissSaoPaulo]

Yeah, my cousin's baby is due just a couple of weeks after mine would have been born. I sometimes torture myself thinking about how close they would have been, growing up together, but I try and stop myself because it just makes me so sad. As said above, allow yourself your feelings, but don't dwell on things too much if you possibly can. Sending big hugs. It's still so recent, be kind to yourself xxx

[abby19888]

I would have been 17 weeks today too, miscarried a month ago and had to have dnc. I feel sad each week but i am still hopeful for the future. its normal to be sad but try and distract yourself

[TeddyBear5]

Hi lovelyI lost my son at 17 weeks in June - TFMR due to trisomy 13. It was awful, but it does get easier over time. I still get upset and babies/bumps are hard to deal with but it’s definitely got easier each day.

Be kind to yourself and let yourself grieve. Hearing others news is really hard as you are grieving the loss of living that life.

I have tried to stay positive and not let myself drown I grief as it’s a slippery slope and I felt like if I let myself fall too far I’d never pull myself back up. It’s helped me to remember that life is just unfair - no rhyme or reason to why these things happen. You just have to roll with the punches and deal with things the best you can. I’m so sorry for your loss and I hope you start to feel a little less grief over time xxxx

[Hoop123]

I can definitely relate to this and I'm sorry you're going through it, too. I feel like I've just been through another wave of pregnancy announcements and, to top it off, my very close friend recently told me she is pregnant and the due date is exactly the same date mine would have been (I'm 6 weeks post ERPC now). She was very kind and sensitive about it, as she supported me during my loss, and I'm so ridiculously happy for her but I also lost it and spent the entire evening crying after she messaged me. It was just so ... Indescribably raw. She doesn't know about the date being the same and I don't think it feels fair to tell her.

At the moment I'm trying to live with both feelings. It IS sad but also that's so separate to how I feel for my friend. I'm letting the tears come if and when they come and honestly it is getting better. I don't want this to affect my friendship and I want to be happy for her and others without letting the dark cloud of my loss continuing to affect my life and bring me down. Hard to explain but I'm finding acknowledging it all helpful but I'm making sure I find joy in other things.

It's all such a personal journey but even by asking this question out loud, you're taking steps forward to feeling better xx

❤️

[Navyblue97 in reply to Hoop123]

I absolutely love this. Thank you so much. You’re right. It is all separate even though u can’t help and feel sad. Thank you for sharing your story also. Always nice to know how others handle it as well but I am so sorry you experienced what we all dread. I feel like none of my friends have asked how I am since my friend announced the pregnancy? Is that selfish? Or me being entitled? It’s my first and hopefully only experience of this so all these emotions are so new I don’t know how to feel. I only lost my baby a month ago so To me it’s still so raw xx

[Hoop123 in reply to Navyblue97]

Thanks - it's so hard and I didn't expect this particular painful event but I'm getting there. As I'm sure you will, too!

Ah and same here. I have one mutual friend who knows about the loss and knows the friend who just announced. I'm just wondering if she doesn't know about the pregnancy yet as she hasn't ask how I'm doing and honestly all I want is for her to message and say "are you okay?" Because I'm not. And I also feel selfish for wanting her to be there.

I can only think that if you haven't gone through this type of experience (or a failed IVF, etc. etc.) before it's harder to get what might hurt. And that it's not a fleeting pain or annoyance when someone announces, it resurfaces quite a deep sense of loss and grief. I know I didn't expect to feel this way so I don't think I would have related to it before now. I hope that makes sense and I hope you're doing okay... There's definitely no right or wrong way to feel. xx

[Ell493]

I'm sorry. It's such a difficult thing to go through. It took me a year to feel happy and normal again. She would be turning 19 years old soon and I still think about it once in a while. It does get better but it never leaves you completely. Hope you feel better soon. xx

[Navyblue97 in reply to Ell493]

I always say this when people ask how I am. It’s getting easier but I will never forget. Never forget my due date. The fact I should be X far along etc. it’s hard. Thank you for sharing xx

[Koalah]

Sorry my for your loss. I do relate to you. My sister had a baby born 3 weeks before my baby was planed. That was my 2nd miscarriage. I met the baby last month and it was really though. I was really scared and did not know how I would react. I cried 2 days before meeting him.

[Navyblue97 in reply to Koalah]

I’m so sorry for your losses😔. Thank you for your words x

[Chasing123]

I’m so sorry to hear this. This journey is so hard. I definitely relate after two miscarriages. The news of everyone getting pregnant is overwhelming sometimes, especially the ones not trying! I do promise it does get easier to deal with over time though. Thinking of you!

[Navyblue97 in reply to Chasing123]

Thank you so much x

[Daughterofaking]

I'm so sorry dear to hear this. May God give you double for your troubles. XX

[Greeneyes14]

I can completely relate, and I am in a constant battle of the constant stream of pregnancy news or new babies being born, and every single one becomes a comparison to how old my babies should be. I had a mmc in April 2020, followed a by a perfect pregnancy, which ended with a sudden and unexplained still birth of my son a week before his due date in March 2021. The grieving process is long and hard, some days are easier than others, it is a learning process of carrying the loss of your child, but also grieving the old version of yourself before child loss.

I think it is completely normal to have a mixture of emotions when you learn of knew pregnancy news, a mixture of happiness and envy, I find, followed by guilt for having the envy, its a stark reminder that life is not fair. I feel its important to allow yourself to feel what ever your mind and heart is telling you to feel, and if you want to cry, then cry.

I try and tell my self I dont know what the newly pregnant woman has been through, they could have gone through pregnancy loss or rounds of IVF to get their joy and happiness, and some day we hopefully will experience that joy and happiness too.

It's a long heavy road. Just be kind to yourself x

[Navyblue97 in reply to Greeneyes14]

Oh my… I am so so so sorry to hear that. You are so strong I can’t even imagine your pain and loss😞.

You’re so correct. I feel bad for being sad? Bcuz I keep thinking why did mine end after 4 years of trying and hers just happened with no struggle but then I feel so bad for having those thoughts. I feel like an awful friend.

I hope we will all experience the joy we want so bad. Thank u for sharing my love xx

[Greeneyes14 in reply to Navyblue97]

You're not an awful friend, you're a woman in the worst pain imaginable, and if your friend is a good one, she will understand you will think and feel things you wouldn't normally think or feel, but child loss does that. But as I said, be kind to yourself. X