Advice please

[Miaow1975]

Good morning I need some advice from people over 45 who’ve had IVF please. I am now 46 and after 2 failed attempts of Icsi we were going to have one more try next month but due to personal circumstances are now not going to be able to do that until at least January next year. That will take me into my 47th year and I’m getting anxious about having a baby at that age. I still really want a family though and would like to hear the pros and cons from mums who’ve been there. Would also be grateful to hear from anyone who chose the adoption route about how long that process took as I’m weighing up all my options now and stressing over whether to try one more round of IVF or to go down the adoption route or both? Any advice would be gratefully received as I’m going mad with thoughts snd anxieties at the mo 😩

[pelvicpain123]

Hi Miaow1975.

Just to say I am thinking of you and know how anxious this situation can be.

I dont have any experience but just wanted to reply to say you are not alone. I am 43 soon and am in a similar situation.

I hope that you get some other replies soon xx

[Miaow1975 in reply to pelvicpain123]

Thanks for your support and let’s hope the next year brings us both baby luck x

[LiveandLetLive42]

You are not alone. I'm almost 40 and doing IVF. We had 2 failed attempts but the third one we got one healthy embryo this time and I do transfer in September. I hear that I'm too old all the time and I just don't agree. So many people in their 40's have babies. Have some faith and don't give up. I'm wishing you all the best and if you ever want to talk I'm here!!

[Miaow1975 in reply to LiveandLetLive42]

Hi there thanks for your message and support it’s hard when your constantly told if your over 40 you’ve very little chance. All I can do is hold out to the new year and give it one last shot and hope it’s 3rd time lucky. All the best with your transfer in Sep and let me know how it goes 🤞🏻

[LiveandLetLive42 in reply to Miaow1975]

I know right. It's so wrong. I wish you the best though and thank you for your wishes!!

[Belangalo]

The first time I approached an IVF clinic to do IVF on my own with donor sperm I was 34. The FS I saw at that point made me want to shoot myself in the head for being too old. She was just awful about pointing out that I may have eggs but that my quality was decreasing every day and IVF was no guarantee I'd get a baby. She gave me the worst stats you could imagine (even though I was healthy with no known fertility issues...only a lack of partner!). She was already talking to me about donor eggs. I was 34 with the egg number of a 27 year old 🤦‍♀️

My point is that I am now 38, pregnant naturally and once I have this little one I'll be trying for the next! I think that if you want a family then keep trying until you feel in your heart of hearts that it is time to stop. If you are concerned about the quality of your own eggs, then do consider donor eggs. Consider adoption. It isn't over until you are ready for it to be over. Good luck! Xxxxx

[Miaow1975 in reply to Belangalo]

Hi there thanks for your reply and support it sounds like we’ve had a similar experience as when I first went for ivf they gave us very poor stats for success due to my age and strongly suggested donor eggs which is what we’ve tried twice. We continue to try naturally too so we’ll just have to hold out to the new year and have one more try and hope it’s third time lucky🤞🏻and if not we can always adopt, I’m determined to have a family one way or the other. Congratulations on your pregnancy and hope it goes well xx

[jengi]

I understand your anxieties, we had our little boy 5 months ago on our 7th attempt. My husband is 52 and I’m 42. We ended up going down the donor egg route as my AMH and egg quality was so poor. I know donor route isn’t for everyone but I just wondered if this was one of the options you were considering. I’ve no experience of the adoption route but it would have been our next step if donor hadn’t worked. I’m wishing you the very best and if I can help in anyway please don’t hesitate to private message me. Big hugs Xx