shared experiences needed to help me make an informed decision

[Miaow1975]

Hi there after 4 failed cycles and my last one ending in an ectopic pregnancy I’m seeking some guidance and reassurance about whether to try one last time this year. I will be 50 in July and am feeling anxious about being pregnant and a mum at 50/51 and would like to hear any experiences of mums of a similar age with successful pregnancies between 50 and 51 and how it was for you. I’m trying to weigh up whether to give it one last try or whether to go straight down the adoption route which I know can also take 2-3 years so am trying to weigh up the pros and cons and would be grateful if you lovely ladies can share your stories to help me out. Thanks in advance xx

[Minichedda82]

I dont have experience of this but my suggestion would be get cracking with the adoption while you're making your decision. You have to be clear in your mind where to draw the line x

[Greenleaves1 in reply to Minichedda82]

This! I've had to draw a line in my head of how much of the process I can take.

[Miaow1975 in reply to Minichedda82]

thank you for your reply we are attending a meeting with our local adoption service next week so will see how we feel after that xx

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi. So sorry to hear about the ectopic pregnancy and hope you had plenty of support ar rhe rime. Back to basics I’m afraid, is your other tube ok, as you don’t want any excess lubrication from a blocked tube preventing a developing embryo from implanting. A hysteroscopy to check out womb and biopsy the lining , then if all good to go either with yout own eggs or a donor. Timescale important so need to get a move on, so you can still jump on the adoption route if needed. All sounds very bossy, but I am not intending to upset you. I really wish you well and will be thinking of you. Diane

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[Miaow1975 in reply to DianeArnold]

Thanks for your reply and sorry for delayed reply the start of this year has been manic!. I’m booking to see a specialist to look at having the fibroid that caused my ectopic out and will get some guidance on the health of my womb and we will take it from there.

[Londonlady2024]

Just want to wish you luck, give it one last shot. I had my baby 4 weeks before my 44th birthday if that helps - using my owns eggs.

[Miaow1975 in reply to Londonlady2024]

Thanks for your reply and that’s reassuring we have decided to see a specialist re removing my fibroid alongside exploring adoption locally so will see where the road leads. Xx

[Boo718]

the adoption process is so long I’d get on that band wagon asap. Then you can have a think. We got accepted for adoption when we had one left so we said if this doesn’t work we will adopt .. it worked. But the process was very long xxx

[Miaow1975 in reply to Boo718]

Thanks for your reply it gave me that push to contact our local adoption service and we have a meeting with them next week xx

[Backagain987]

I’m sorry I’ve only just seen this post. I had my baby at 46, so a few years younger than you, she was a donor egg. My midwife said I wasn’t the oldest mum she had on her books at that time!

I think as long as you are young physically and mentally then you are fine! We have life experiences younger mums don’t have. I feel like I’ve lived my life so I don’t mind dedicating everything to her now. Yes it’s weird that my friends kids are going to Uni and mine is starting nursery! But I didn’t choose this to happen as late as it did, and just feel so grateful it did happen and I and the opportunity.

I am now a 48yo mother of a 2yo!

Feel free to message me if you have any questions x

[Nenad]

hi there, I 100% agree with Backagain987 . My boss had a double donor baby at 49 and she’s absolutely exhausted and isn’t coping very well between work and looking after her baby. So it all depends on your health and energy levels. The first two years are really hard xx