Sister in labour - I’m struggling 😒

[ChloeL934]

Hey guys,

Hope you’re all well.

So my sister is in labour, and I’m just finding it really hard, I’m so close to her & im just hurting so badly right now, I wish her all the best and I’m so in love with my niece and she isn’t even here yet, I’ve spoiled her but I just can’t help but have a heart aching feeling wishing it was me and right now I’m really feeling like it’s never going to be my turn.

I guess I’m just writing on here because you all know how it feels xx

[C-a-t-m-u-m]

I know exactly how your feeling in the space of 3 weeks! I’ve had 2 new babies in the family. I am so happy for them but it’s also so hard! I totally understand your pain. I’ve decided to think of it as good practice though ❤️

[Ivfgotadream]

My first pregnancy my sister was 2 weeks behind me in her pregnancy - I lost mine at 12 weeks - she gave birth on what would have been my due date. Not going to lie - I had a quiet cry that day and turned my phone off as didn’t want minute by minute updates. After a good cry and a cuddle with the baby, lots of wine and chocolate I was able to put my feelings back in their little box and look to my own journey again x

[Lots8788]

Big big hugs hun. I remember the day my sister had her baby and I had a moment of really really crying whilst painting the kitchen. The emotions are so complex as you love your sister and sound close like we are, and I love my niece to bits as I'm sure you will even more when she's here (which is how I feel) but doesn't stop it hurting for you too. Here if you want to talk. Put your phone away for a bit and lots of self care and wine and chocolate too! Xxx

[Wishingforabump]

I feel you 100% , my best friend is having a girl soon and i am soo happy for her but i cry my eyes out everytime i see her bump ... i sometimes feel guilty i don’t want to be the person who is jealous of others having babies but i can’t help wonder she have been trying for 2 months only and me 4 years , agony and pain and still not even close . Give urself some time to process things and treat urself with anything you like to get ur mind off negative thoughts . Much love

[XOXO13]

Ow I’m so sorry.. I can completely relate to this as my little sister is due her baby in May. We are so close but I’ve found her pregnancy incredibly tough to deal with. She wasn’t even trying for a baby, it was an accident which makes this even harder. I haven’t been able to talk to her about her pregnancy, she knows I’m sending love from afar and will love my my niece no matter what but I have to be a bit selfish right now and put me and my feelings first. It’s okay to do that, allow yourself to process your feelings. Sending you a big hug xxxx

[Clover5]

I don't blame you at all hun, It's so difficult when you want a baby so badly and then you feel guilty for feeling the way you do. I'm sure your sister will get that aswell as it sounds like your close.My friend had ivf at the same time as me and we both fell pregnant, only I lost my little girl at birth at 22 weeks and my friend went on to have daughter. I had to remove myself from everything for a while and couldn't go to see her baby or go to the christening but it does get easier.

We all have those days when you feel like it's never going to happen but thankfully the days your ready to keep fighting to have a baby out weight them. Sending a hug 💕xX

[ChloeL934]

Thank you so much everyone. This forum is amazing. ❤️

[Daisy_Hope]

Understand how you feel, don’t stop hoping. Sending hugs

[Daffodils140]

I understand, I have family and friends who get pregnant so easily they can ‘choose’ when they want the child’s birthday to be! It’s really hard and you have to make time to feel sad. I used to feel like there were a finite number of babies and whenever someone else had one it somehow lowered my chances (I know that sounds ridiculous!) however I now focus on my journey, we are all on a pathway, just some of us have more twists and turns. Big hugs to you x

[Gatarra]

Know exactly how you feel . I was going through our initial investigations for fertility issues when I found out my sister was pregnant . I was just about to start ivf when she gave birth which was around Xmas time with all my family cooing over the baby and me on stimms over the Xmas holidays . I was constantly upset because it felt like I couldn’t speak to my mum or sis about the fertility stuff so was dealing with it on my own. My mum accused me of sour grapes because I wasn’t constantly asking about the baby. I just couldn’t face speaking to her during thenprocess so it’s just text messages at the moment . So upsetting buying presents for my sisters baby thinking I will never do this for my own child . Anyway you aren’t on your own . I also love my new niece it’s not her fault it’s just a really shitty situation . I think once I’ve got to the end of line ivf wise( one way or the other ) and I’m not actually doing it / it’s not on my mind all the time it will be easier . Anyway just wanted to say you are normal to feel like this , and tbh people should be more sensitive and understanding to those of us that are not childless by choice 😢

[Crazybunmum]

I think most women on here can relate to this. I’ve recently found out that a friend of mine is pregnant with her 2nd child and she’s planned it around a family wedding and to be on mat leave with her closest friend, I’ve been TTC for almost 4 years and at the beginning of my journey I really didn’t want to be that person who is envious of pregnant women but I feel like I’m turning into a childless monster 😫

My partner and I are very private people so no one knows what we’re going through, hence why I’ve joined this forum - for my sanity and to be reassured that I’m not alone.

However the endless excuses as to why we don’t have children yet is really taking its toll and I’m worried that my biological clock is ticking.......

I agree it’s best to remove yourself from social media etc as there are baby bumps everywhere!

I’m sure we’re all on this journey for one reason or another but I think anyone going through this fertility journey should be proud of themselves and their strength to carry on!