Need reassurance please so stressed

[Cally_uk]

I’m worried my stress will prevent ivf success if this is possible.

Tips to relax or medication would be appreciated

[LCharlton]

The Mindful IVF app is really helpful

[Cally_uk in reply to LCharlton]

Thank you I’ll check it out

[leo1980]

Hey you!! Sending you a hug. You got this warrior. How about a journal of doing one nice thing for your self every day from the beginning to the end of the cycle.I do a face mask one day, foot bath, dry body brushing.. I made a list of jobs I wanted to get done too - updated my receipe book! Collected loads from newspapers etc so finally ordered one from symthons and stuck them all in. Also I like reading - and started a book a week from last lockdown. I also try to have a nap on Sunday’s. It feels to pampering to snooze after taking the dog out and Sunday lunch.

I am not mindful but I like hobbies and am driven by progress (so I do things I can see) helps me feel in control. You will find your thing. You have lots of cheerleaders on here so reach out if you need support. 💋

[Cally_uk in reply to leo1980]

Love the self care a day, face masks are the best. Definitely struggle without having baths as that’s my go to relaxation. Thank you for the lovely feedback definitely need to learn to put myself first especially during the dreaded ttw. Sleep/naps is a area I need to concentrate on thanks so much x

[LSandJ in reply to leo1980]

Great list!

[Sparklylife in reply to leo1980]

Great ideas! ☺️

[jengi]

Take a deep breath lovely. You can do this. Here are some ideas. I used Zita West’s meditations, I downloaded them from iTunes. I also found the calm app really good especially at night when I’d listen to a sleep story to help me unwind. Also useful if you wake in the middle of the night, it’s a useful way to relax the mind. I practiced a lot of breathing exercises etc. I found online exercise classes good like Zumba & yoga. I kept a journal, every night writing 1-3 positive words that summed up my day. Some days it was really tough to find one never mind 3! But we can always be grateful for something even if it’s for being able to wake up & be alive. I used to try & have one thing every month to look forward too, cash was tight so sometimes it was exploring a local park, walk, wood/forest, village etc that I’d not been to before etc. I also tried to treat myself to something nice & pampering (a facial, massage, accupuncture, a Bath, face mask etc). I had a friend who was training to become a massage therapist so I was frequently her guinea pig! Keep life simple, don’t try pack in too much to keep busy, it’s good to have down time too & put yourself first!

During 2ww I used to binge watch series that made me laugh & kept my mood positive. Friends was always my go too. Good luck lovely Xx

[Cally_uk in reply to jengi]

Thanks so much jengi, it’s definitely the simple things that need more attention. A break from social media would definite help or late night phone action (she says whilst typing in bed!)

Congrats just read your write up such a brave decision to go donor route.

This is possibly our last ivf cycle so feeling the pressure.

Thanks for replying

[jengi in reply to Cally_uk]

Lol, I go through phases of banning phones in the bedroom, it never lasts! Hopefully it will be your last because you’ll get your BFP 🤞🏻 Thinking positively is key. You, your body and your mind have got this. Big hugs Xx

[Hidden]

I went on YouTube, there are lots of visualisations, meditations ,affirmations etc.... I used do them everyday even when it felt silly I'd go for a walk listening to positive affirmations and letting it all sink in. It really helped me this time. I'm 13 weeks and still listening. Best of luck yo you 🥰🥰🥰

I've read all the above and agree with them all. Be really nice and kind to yourself and as jengi mentioned, laugh, watch movies or series that make you laugh xx (that was my favourite thing to do) ....fake it til you make it 😉

[Cally_uk in reply to Hidden]

Fake it till you make love that!! Thank you

[XOXO13]

You’ve got this 🤍

You’ve got some wonderful suggestions already.. but here are a few of things I did/do before transfers:

- keep a journal, I find it therapeutic to write down my emotions and it means they don’t stay sitting on my chest ready to build up

- bake, I love baking so I bake lots of different things that I again find therapeutic

- treat myself to a facemask, hair mask, warm bubble bath (not after transfer). When I do make a bath, I turn it into a spa so put my favourite oils (pregnancy friendly), bubble bath (Neom de-stress), light my candles, put spa music on low and choose an eye or face mask. I always have a book in the bath with me too!

- read, a lot!! I buy a bunch of new books at a time so I’m stocked up and I just get cosy with a brew and read

- take myself for morning and evening strolls, nothing better than being outdoors and moving

- get cosy with a series on Netflix, gone through loads! I’m into crime and detective stuff but do love a good comedy too!

- with my first cycle I did reflexology and my second transfer acupuncture.. I’m sticking with the acupuncture as I felt some benefit from it

- get into bed really early (8.45pm) and either read or put the CALM app on and fall asleep, I always try to get 8hrs or as close as I can!

- practice yoga and mindfulness which I find really calming. I’m not so good at the stretchy stuff but I enjoy it nonetheless!

It’s just a time to really focus on you. Practice deep breathing, when a negative pops into your head, force yourself to turn it into a positive.

Deep breaths 🤍🤞🏻 Xxx

[Cally_uk in reply to XOXO13]

These are great thank you

Deep breaths indeed I certainly tense up & forget when stressed ok as silly it feels sometimes I’m bringing back the meditation for you need to train myself to get back into it!

So kind thank you will take note

[Sparklylife in reply to XOXO13]

Aw, another list of great advice! I am not doing a cycle at the moment, but think I might focus on this again just cos getting a little stir crazy with the pandemic and all ... and not seeing my family. So this may help 🥰 Thanks from me too!

[XOXO13 in reply to Sparklylife]

It’s good to get into the habit of practicing self-care whether you’re in a cycle or not, keeps you focused and as calm as can be 🤍💫 xx

[Hidden]

Stress definitely does have an impact. Think about what you do that relaxes you and do more of that. Mindfulness is amazing and if you can try to do guided meditations. Have baths, read books, cook, go for walks. Xx

[Cally_uk in reply to Hidden]

Distractions noted

[L0zza]

Lots of great suggestions on here already but just thought I'd add If you're on Instagram it may be worth following @gemyogateacher. I signed up for her free 5 day fertility stress reset course which was good. She's an ivf mummy and fertility yoga specialist.

Maybe try a pillow spray to help with sleep if you're struggling to switch off?

Sending you lots of love, hope and relaxing positive vibes. You've got this! Xx

[Hidden]

I ordered some books about IVF and one is about coping with IVF which I've found help me. I also do online yoga, reading funny books and do some pampering. I also do dressmaking so having that as a hobby has been really relaxing and good to focus on something else. I found a website called Spruce crafts which has lots of different things on if you're into crafts.

[anz07]

My understanding is that there is no scientific research that shows stress has an impact during IVF treatment or in early pregnancy. That said, it’s best to minimise stress for your own health and well-being if nothing else! Others have given great advice but try not to stress about being stressed - there is no evidence to prove that it will negatively impact the outcome xxx

[Stewalau]

Hello there, I just want to out your mind at ease about stress. After having a miscarriage at 11 weeks with my last pregnancy, I went into my next round of IVF with so much stress and anxiety. On the day of embryo transfer my anxiety was through the roof and felt like I was having heart palpitations, and I didn't sleep that first night. Anyway, fast forward 2 weeks and I got my BFP. I understand stress is not good for the body, but I also want to reassure you that stress is normal in ivf and success can still happen. Stress breads stress so try to not to worry. Easier said than done I know. Good luck.

[Cally_uk in reply to Stewalau]

Just what I needed to hear thank you! how wonderful 💕

[Evi5]

Like Leo said your a warrior, some really good tips from the women. Do trust your body and trust yourself. There is only so much we can do. Stress releases toxins so do things that make you smile and allow you to be with you. Your already under a lot of pressure. Take care of yourself.

[Hidden]

Hi Cally, there's an app called The Tapping Solution which uses a technique called EFT (emotional freedom technique) which basically is, where you tap a series of points on your face and shoulders while they talk you through emotions you might be feeling. It apparently rewires your brain to calm you when you're feeling anxious/overwhelmed ect. They're only about 10 minutes long and it has lots of different ones for different situations including a series on IVF and even one for pregnancy called Stressed about being stressed which I thought you might like! It's very practical and they encourage you to rate your emotions on a scale before and after to see if it's made any difference. I think it's useful for people who might need something more active than meditation especially if you're feeling anxious, it can be hard to empty your mind. You can download the app for free and there are certain ones you can do to see if you like it but you have to sign up to do the majority of them including the IVF series. It is only a monthly subscription of about $8 (it's American) and you can cancel at any time so you could just sign up for the month or so of IVF if you found them useful and cancel after. I do agree with the comments above though, it's natural to be stressed going through this process so just try and roll with what you're feeling and try and do some of the lovely self care suggestions too.

[lablover5658]

I can totally understand your worries. I have been suffering from high levels of stress and anxiety for a few years. It goes up and down. We undertook our first IVF round in 2019. I was totally unaware that mental state can really affect the process. The cycle went well but failed to stick. I was not good mentally probably not in my best state when we started but just carried on with it.

Now we are doing our first FET since the first and I am feeling a lot more in control. I have been taking high levels of Vitamin D for a year and good quality probiotics. Most important of all I have started to do a lot more self care.

Yoga, timeout just listening to relaxing music, I also do abdominal massage on myself along with reflexology. I do lot of walking too. Luckily we have a great woodland walk on our doorstep. Makes me feel like I can get away from all the stress of everyday life. Plus avoiding those people that make you stressed!

Getting to know your body is really important. What makes you stressed and how it affects you. Physically and mentally and then finding ways to elevate those things. Easier said then done I know! But you can do it( sometimes it can require to think outside of the box)

Sorry for the long message but hope it helps.

Good luck ❤️

[lablover5658]

Ooh I just thought to say, I obviously don’t do the abdominal massage and reflexology after transfer, just in the times after my period and before ovulation. So I was doing this before I stated this current cycle( FET) thought I better make that clear. Sorry 😞