3rd scan tomorrow (7-9 weeks) – petrified

[DJ202]

Hi all,

I’m feeling pretty terrible today and was hoping for a listening ear/some advice. By my own calculations (based on my period), I should be 9 weeks pregnant now.

I had some pelvic pain in one side a couple of weeks ago so went to the EPU. They’ve found a gestational sack and a fetal pole (3mm) measuring around 5 weeks (no heartbeat) at the time and asked me to come back in a week. Last week the embryo had grown to about 5mm and looked like 6 weeks, still no heartbeat. I’ve been asked to come back tomorrow for a third scan. I’ve had no severe cramping or bleeding, and I’m really completely petrified that I will loose this pregnancy. I’ve had a miscarriage at 8 weeks several years ago, which was really traumatic and I don’t know if I can cope with more loss. I’m feeling physically sick and haven’t slept for weeks because I'm so worried. Do you have any advice/suggestions/words of wisdom? I don’t know what to do.

Thanks so much!

[Millbanks]

I’m so sorry to hear about your worries. I don’t have any experience of this I’m afraid but just wanted to send some hugs and strength to you. It sounds awful but there is absolutely nothing you can do to change the outcome of tomorrow. So I would try to take some deep breaths and focus on a positive outcome. Being positive now won’t make you feel any worse if it isn’t the news you want. Really hoping everything is fine for you xxx

[Chiefy]

So sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time. The bfp should be the start of excitement, but its just on to a worse stage of worry.

If you consider the positives, the embryo has grown in line with what it should between weeks 5 and 6, and is measuring as it should at 6 weeks. Maybe your last cycle was out and you ovulated much later?

I hope all goes well at your next scan and you receive some good news x

[Beatrix_K]

Hey DJ202 I am sorry you’re feeling like this, it’s such a scary, scary time. It’s hard not to panic, especially if you think something is wrong. This may sound nuts but are you using an app to work out your dates? Don’t they add on two weeks (ie count from date of last period rather than egg collection)? And because this is an ivf round and they know the exact date of conception, could it be they’re counting Fromm EC? That would put you about 2 weeks out.

I dunno maybe it’s silly. I just hope everything with you and baby will be ok with you tomorrow. Xxx

[Pink5678]

I agree with below, the fetus is growing and that’s a great sign. No pain or other symptoms is also good so try to relax and not worry. I’ve had 4 miscarriages, one at 10.5 weeks and I know they are awful. But I try hard to look forward, be positive and just take each day as it comes. I am praying you get some good news! 🙏

[DJ202]

Thank you very much for your kind replies - that's brought some light into very dark times! I'm afraid the outcome is not positive - I will have to have a D&C on Monday. Is there light at the end of the tunnel? At the moment it really doesn't seem so. I just hope I'll be able to cope with it all.

[Millbanks in reply to DJ202]

I’m so sorry to hear this. Sending lots of love to you xxx

[Kookypie]

Oh Hun that's horrible. I know having a miscarriage was one of the hardest things I went through.

It will be raw for quite some time but you will get through this. Something which helped me was I bought a little garden ornament to commemorate the baby. Just a little bird but I find it a comfort to have something. Maybe you could do something similar?

Xx

[DJ202]

Thank you for your messages - that's very kind! Kookypie, the garden ornament is such a lovely idea. I've been thinking about it and have decided I want to buy a lovely big house plant that can grow and represent the life that has been lost but which will be with us forever. I'm thinking about one of the services the Mariposa Trust organises too to be able to say goodbye. It's such a hard time but I'm determined to work through this!