New here... IVF at 40...

[chasingbabyv]

Hi, I am a serial follower of these blogs but never write anything, however I've decided to be braver and to talk with others in similar situations as myself.

I had my son naturally at 37, and spent the next few years trying to grow our family without any success. I had an emergency C-section, and also surgery afterwards to remove a large ovarian cyst. That resulted in my left ovary going to sleep / missing in action! We started our first IVF cycle in Sept 2020 the month I turned 40, my AMH was low, and with only 1 ovary - somehow I did great and we ended up with 2 good quality blastocysts that were transfered and another for the freezer. My fresh and subsequent FET both resulted in BFN's.

Before starting our next fresh we opted to do some further testing (failed implantation) which showed that I was positive for Anti-nuclear-antibodies - - nothing 'major' but the likeliehood of them attacking foreign bodies (ie embryo) was high. So I've taken a course of hydroxychloroquin this cycle.

I actually had a better cycle - I ended up with 1 x 5AA and 2 x 4AA's - so 2 transfered and another for freezer. I am now 6dp5dt and somehow I've got myself into a mindset of "it SHOULD work this time because we fixed THE problem!" And gosh... it's driving me mad. I am terrified to test early (normally I do) and that brings it's own style of excruciating heartache, and of course I want to believe I'm pregnant and staying pregnant - and yet a part of me thinks my chances of NOT being pregnant are significantly higher than being - even with such good embryos.

THIS. IS. HARD.

Anyone else out there TTC through IVF in their 40's? I of course ressonate with so many shares but I don't often read of 40 somethings, or the 'geriatric' population. I remember being called 'geriatric' when I was 36 by midwife and I found it so shocking! Lol

I look forward to hearing your stories and connecting with you. X

[HemBella]

Hello chasingbaby 👋

Thanks for sharing your story. It does help to talk with others, and we all have different stories. As you say

THIS.IS.HARD

But we are a strong group of women and the support here is amazing. And there are lots of us in the geriatric population 😉. In fact there have been quite a few amazing BFP announcements for over 40s just recently.

I'm 41 and currently 1dp5dt with my first FET- so at the beginning of my TWW. And I'm going to try hold out for at least 9 days before testing....

My story- if you'd like to hear it is below:

I was married and we had always talked of starting a family. But we both had busy London lifestyles, careers, social lives and a massive house renovation. By the time I was 34 i drew a line in the sand and said we needed to start a family, house renovation was finished and there were no more excuses. And he admitted that along the way he had changed his mind and didn't want a family anymore. After 13 years together my marriage was over, I couldn't just accept that.

Anyway fast forward a few years by the age of 37 I decided I would be a solo mum. Was on a waiting list for a sperm donor and eventually when I was 39 I had the donor sperm (took 18 months) all tests and I was ready to go. I had 3 IUIs- with the same donor sperm- and all unsuccessful. During this time I also met my now current partner but he had had a vasectomy so whilst he was totally understanding and supportive, DS was still the only option. I moved to IVF in January 2020, with the same DS I'd used before. It was a completely disastrous cycle. I think I had 12 eggs collected and of them only 1 fertilised , all the sperm died overnight. I was devastated. I had a 3 day fresh transfer with my only embryo that wasn't looking too strong. Needless to say that was a BFN.

Then Covid hit and I needed to find a new donor, there certainly weren't many about and I couldn't afford to wait 18 months again. I was lucky to source a donor independently from a sperm bank and started again in August with EC in September. Did ICSI too. Out of 14 eggs collected 12 were mature and fertilised and all 12 grew to day 5 blastocyst, and they were all pretty much good gradings. Because of my age id opted for pgs testing, and of 6 that were suitable 3 came back genetically perfect. I feel so blessed.

I then had struggles with getting my lining to where it needed to be- so I had a cancelled FET cycle in November and had to wait until Jan to start again

I've never once in my life had a BFP. But I've got a lovely hatching d5 blastocyst that was transferred yesterday. This is the furtherest I've ever made it. If this is a BFP I will be 42 by the time baby is born.

And I still have 2 top embryos in the freezer.

I'm not giving up yet! And there are wonderful success stories for over 40s- hopefully I'll be one too!

Good luck on your TWW - I'm sure you'll be a success story too!! Xx

[chasingbabyv in reply to HemBella]

Hi HemBella, thank you for taking the time to respond so fully. I feel very inspired and touched by your journey and your commitment to becoming a mother.

I’m also delighted for you that you have found a partner who is supporting you on this journey - he sounds remarkable!

You’ve certainly done whatever is necessary to become pregnant and finally get those dreamy two lines. I hope you can settle into this TWW and trust that you’ve done what you can, and that the outcome is indeed out of your hand and ‘in the hands of the gods’ (If only I heeded my own advice lol)

I wish you all the very best this cycle, and your hearts longing to become a mother comes to pass.

Xx

[Ketkoot]

Hi. Geriatric mum to be here!

Have a read of my profile if needed but I am 42 and currently 25 weeks pregnant with my rainbow little girl using my OE. She is due just after my 43rd birthday but am hoping she comes sooner!

I am in a specialist maternity clinic and am no where near being the oldest, there is a lady early 50’s!!

Don’t give up ur dreams. Message me if you need any support. Best of luck 😘

[chasingbabyv in reply to Ketkoot]

Thank you for responding!

CONGRATULATIONS on your pregnancy, it is hope giving indeed! 💗

I think I’m just so used to seeing/expecting negatives that I can’t even imagine a positive is possible for me! I know that’s not necessarily true and even if this cycle is a no, we’re in a fortunate position to have one in freezer and options for more rounds if we need. I

My emotions seem to be heightened these past few days - who knows, perhaps that’s a good thing!?! ... 🤞🏻

Enjoy moving into third trimester... and every little (soon to be big) kick, prod and movement!

Xx

[Esme78]

Thank you for your post. We spent the best part of 10 years trying to conceive naturally and it did not happen for us despite various interventions/lifestyle changes etc. We took two fresh cycles of ICSI, the latter one was accompanied by intense naturopathic preparation and support, and we got pregnant. It was my third embryo transfer. I still have 5 embryos frozen but, sadly, unlikely to ever use them. I was 40 when our little daughter was born - she will be 20 months soon and I will be 43 this year. Do not give up. Being a mum is the most intense and hard thing but also the most beautiful and rewarding. I wish you well.

[chasingbabyv in reply to Esme78]

Thank you for sharing Esme! I adore being a mama to my very inspirited whirlwind of a 3 year old. That is part of my motivation to grow our family - for him to have a sibling.

I’m delighted for you that after over a decade you finally got your precious girl! That is just wonderful. Is there any reason you won’t use your other embryos? Xx

[Emmaxxx]

Welcome to the old mummy club! I was 49 when I had my 4th round. I’m going to be 42 in April and have a 1 year old m. Don’t give up hope xxx

[LuxFleur]

Hello, I am 41 and currently pregnant from an FET of an embryo collected and created about six months ago, when I was also 41. If all goes well, hopefully, I will be 42 when giving birth. So it is possible in general! Best of luck to you xoxo