How many attempts will it take? Am I stuck in the IVF rabbit hole?

[Gizmo247]

I’ve just turned 40. Blocked Fallopian tubes. Hubby has 31%DNA fragmentation. Always have loads of eggs collected (16-26), only ever had 1 make it to blastocyst. 4 BFNs and 1 mmc. ICSI on last 2 rounds; IVF for first 3. Hubby is starting to say that we’re getting the message that it’s not working and we could throw so much more money (and emotions and lifestyle changes) after this and we could get nothing. I am not ready to stop trying. At what point do you say enough is enough? If think I would remortgage the house to keep trying, but maybe I just can’t face the alternative? Maybe I’m stuck down the IVF rabbit hole and I can’t see the reality in front of me? Of course the doctors are not going to tell you it won’t work - they don’t want to lose the business. What does it take to change course?

We’ve talked bout donor options be adoption but we’re not keen on either, although I think I could move to donor at a later point.

I just feel this is such an existential dilemma - it goes to the root of what I believe myself to be. I just don’t want to stop giving us a chance, but am I a fool?

[Maui2020]

Oh Gizmo I empathise with everything you say, I find it hard to ever stop going for what I want and I already know hubby and I are not on the same page about when we would want to call it quits. I wanted to ask because I’m also 40 and have a high AMH. Aside from ivf/ICSI, did you change your protocol or the drugs you used each time? My Dr reassuringly said if you produce lots of eggs you are fertile and because it’s a numbers game, you technically will get there. But I had 2 cycles with Menopur, producing 30+ eggs on one of them. When I showed him my blood results he noted that I’m one of 5% of women where menopur makes their LH levels crash and although my embryos look healthy, they have been in poor conditions for their viability. I would otherwise have continued cycles with it at my old clinic because of it giving me great numbers. Rightly or wrongly I’m a big believer in changing Drs if things don’t work, just to get another perspective. One Dr may just have the key to what has been going wrong. Also this time they didn’t aim for large numbers of eggs and I got the same number of blasts in an attempt to improve quality. I know this all isn’t the answer to what you were asking, but I hope it helps to make a decision. I really wish you lots of luck whatever you decide xx

[Gizmo247 in reply to Maui2020]

Hi Maui, thanks for your support. I didn’t know the risk with menopur and I will certainly look into it. Me and you sound very similar! I’ve tried the short and long protocols but similar outcomes. Also tried Gonal F at my last clinic before changing clinics and moving to Menopur (their suggestion). I’m nervous about changing drs again as it’s time consuming and also potentially further costs, but I am going to explore it. Like you, I pushed in the last round to reduce the number of eggs collected, but still ended up with 22 collected, 16 of which were mature. I get that we need to tweak things for each cycle but it’s so frustrating when you feel you don’t have the time or money for trial and error. I hope you have success on your journey too. Xx ps I have been to Maui once and it was like paradise on Earth

[Maui2020 in reply to Gizmo247]

It does sound like you have already been doing what I suggested, trying different drugs, protocols and clinics. It’s almost misleading for us getting lots of eggs but not being successful. I do get more than one blast but keep getting told that statistically only one will work anyway. So we are spending time and money trying them all out on FETs as I personally don’t believe in PGT-a testing. It’s does only take one, and that one doesn’t even need to be a 5day blast. Numbers are on your side at least, I hope you get your miracle baby somehow xx And wow I do want to get to Maui too, this is me manifesting lol. We never budgeted for so much Ivf so all of our travel plans have been on hold (aside from covid reasons), one day I hope 🤞🏽

[Gizmo247 in reply to Maui2020]

I hope you get to Maui with your family some day x

[Brunamara]

Hi, sorry to hear your story. It is just such hard going sometimes. Just wondering if you have had fallopian tubes removed? Both mine were blocked and had them removed as there is supposed to be a better chance of implantation when they are removed than if they are left in and blocked. Iv only had one egg transfer, it wasn't successful so Im obviously not the best example! But I did check with 3 different doctors before operation and they all said the same.

[Gizmo247 in reply to Brunamara]

Hi Brunamara, I haven’t had the tubes removed and tbh I don’t fancy any more invasive procedures over what we already have to do on IVF rounds. I will ask my dr though on her thoughts about this as I’d need to weigh up the pros if it made a big difference.

[Brunamara in reply to Gizmo247]

Oh I totally understand. I actually had mine removed in 2 separate operations and was so upset having to get the second one out. But worth asking your doctor about it. Best of luck with everything x

[Babytocome]

Hi, are you taking any supplements? My friend is in a similar situation than yours. Her doctor asked her to take 75 mg DHEA, 400 mg CQ10, she is also doing acupuncture and castor oil before the transfer on the mow belly.She got pregnant with something called “ natural/ modified IVF” maybe something to check. Apparently is focus on the quality and not the quantity and it is cheaper.

Hope this help x

[Gizmo247 in reply to Babytocome]

Thanks, Sonisonix. Omg, I took so many supplements - ubiquinol, vit a,c,e, iron. OH took proxceed too. I have heard the natural IVF mentioned before so I will investigate. Thanks x