Losing friends - how to cope with pregnancy announcements?

Dear all,

The majority of my friends are announcing their pregnancies or already have children.

They have been kind and told me sensitively and privately, often very late into the pregnancy. Whilst I am delighted for them, it is so painful for me. They all know about my fertility struggles.

I feel like I am being left behind.

Do I suck it up or slowly move away to protect my mental health? How have you managed this situation?

x

[brandalina]

This was hard for me too when I was TTC. Struggled with infertility for 4 years of trying everything under the sun before doing IVF. I faked my happiness for them, I mean I was happy for them but often wished it was me. Even though I felt like it was unfair because I was struggling and trying so hard, it also wasn’t their fault that they didn’t struggle with infertility. Had they been able to help my situation, they would have, that’s why they’re my friends. For me the worst part was being around babies. I purposefully wouldn’t hold babies, always made an excuse but I thought that would just be too much for me to handle. But I’m glad I hung on to my friends who became moms before me. I learned a lot from them when I finally did become a mom myself.

[Lilly12255]

The lockdown is a perfect excuse to isolate yourself. And you can get In touch again once you are pregnant. If those are real friends, you won’t lose them for being out of touch for 6months to a year in my view.

[Ivfgotadream]

For me infertility takes so much from us already that I refused to let it make me bitter and jealous towards my friends/family as well. To me friendships are about being there for their good times as well as supporting them through the bad so I didn’t distance myself. After all I hoped one day to be gushing about my own happy news and it would be sad not to have anyone to share it with if I’d alienated myself from everyone. It’s no ones fault they are fertile and I’m not

That being said I might have snoozed the odd acquaintance who was on their 4th kid or more - - we all know the type - the “I only have to look at my husband and I’m pregnant with triplets” sort 🤣