I am currently under the treatment preparing for my ERA test. My biopsy will be done at our clinic in Spain on 31st this month. I called our Medical Centre and I requested a sick leave from my work specifically asking to not mention my real reason for the sick leave. Beautiful GP doctor, that I was on the phone, told me that he cannot lie on official documents 😳😤🤯. Sorry, What?!?! Then I asked, so what we can do in this case, tell them everything about my personal life?!?! Sorry, but I am not doing that!! I am so annoyed and frustrated! I never ever in my life requested a fit note. I am working in the same company for the last 6 years and had 0 sick days until this moment. During this time we did 4 IVF cycles, almost all my holidays went for treatment but with this COVID and self isolation situation I am running out of days.
How you are getting sick notes? What are the reasons your GP’s are mentioning? I am totally confused 🤷♀️ and feel that is so unfair... 🥺😢
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Ranchu90
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Iv had a sick note 5 or 6 times for all my treatment I have never had ivf put down as a reason because my work don’t pay me if I do Iv had lots of different reason either stress, anxiety or gynecology So sorry what they have said is bullsh*t the doctor has alway offered to put a different reason down for me as it personal x
I should tell to my GP the real reason and than request to specify anxiety or stress? I shall I tell them straightaway stress without mentioning IVF? I was honest with him but he didn’t take it that well.
I always tell the gp the real reason and I explain that I get very anxious and it’s a stressful process and I tell them I don’t want ivf on the sick note as I want to keep it private they give me the option of having stress or gynaecology procedure on mine I do have a history of anxiety tho so probably best to go for gynaecology procedure it isn’t a lie it’s just a different way of wording it Request a different gp to the one you have spoken to x
Unfortunately I can see where the GP is coming from - I’ve sometimes asked them to word things in a certain way when trying to get procedures covered by my private healthcare but generally they are very by the book. The only way is asking them to word it as gynaecological treatment - that usually stops bosses getting too nosy!
I’ve never used a sick note for IVF treatment so not sure how you could word it - I think you may have to come clean to your employer and see if they can be flexible? Having treatment is hard as it takes up so many extra days but that isn’t your companies fault and they have to have to have a fair policy for everyone - my company is bringing in IVF leave (maximin 5 days per cycle which would have been more than enough for each of my cycles but not if I had gone abroad)
My company is not flexible on anything to be honest. It you are telling them something than it goes viral. Even gynaecological treatment I don’t want to mention. My company is old fashioned! They barely accepted us to work from home in March on lockdown.
I'd go for the gynae procedure reason. It does generally stop people asking more info. Its pretty crap of your GP to stress you out. That's the only other thing you may want to think about putting down...stress or anxiety. Good luck.xx
I shouldn’t have told him the truth. Probably I should have mentioned stress in first instance. I know you did ERA test so I might have questions after tomorrow’s ultrasound scan 🤣
You're welcome to ask me anything, literally anything if you think it would help!🥰xxx
Just be very careful I was very open and honest with my employer but unfortunately it done me no favours as they said it was something I was choosing to do and no something I had to do therefor any sick pay they would not pay me weather that was a day or week! Apparently it’s perfectly legal to do that x
Iv had a really bad experience with my employer not all are the same but I didn’t have a clue that legally we have no rights when doing ivf and they don’t even have to pay us! I was shocked I have to have time off as I have to travel 2 hours to my clinic x
Don’t even get me started it disgusting apparently it’s because we “chose” to do ivf and we don’t have to! So if employer find out your off due to ivf weather it’s a day or week they can refuse to pay you I learnt the hard way! X
I think companies can take a hard line sometimes because it can end up being taken Advantage of. I’ve done 5 rounds of IVF in the U.K. scheduling appointments at 730am at a local clinic to avoid impact on work and then taking annual leave for egg collection and transfer. But I know loads of people who don’t and disappear off for 1/2 the day. If I was having treatment abroad I wouldn’t have been able to do that - electing to have treatment abroad IS a choice so additional annual leave has to be factored in. It isn’t an hour or two out of the office a couple of day’s a week it’s several days at a time.
I didn’t chose to have ivf Unfortunately life delt me that card sometimes taking annual leave isn’t a option as in many company’s you can’t have time off if other are off to and many places you have to give 3 weeks notice for holiday appointment can change and so can treatment timeline so sometime taking leave isn’t possible everyone has the right to chose the best place for treatment for them if that’s aboard or far from where they live. Many aren’t lucky enough to have it funded by the nhs so have the right to say where they spend there money, my point is someone can go out get drunk and brake there leg and get six plus weeks paid sick leave but a woman under going ivf treatment isn’t 🤷♀️Ivf isn’t a choice for many it’s there only option
I 100% agree with you. We are struggling enough during all this process and indeed IVF is the only one option (thanks God this even exists).
My manager will never approve my holiday if it is overlapping with one of my 7 colleagues that I have, it always been a battle to have holidays when we want or need. We have holidays approved for next year July already. I wish everything would have been simple and easy ... 🥺
I just wanted to say that I think 0 sick days over 6 years of working, while also dealing with IVF is amazing. You sound like a very strong person who is really committed to their work.
Yes you are right I am very committed to my job. I don’t like to be absent from work apart from when I am on holiday. Even now I feel guilty for requesting a sick leave 🥺
Hey. Sorry your doctor hasn't been accommodating. My work don't know about my IVFs or my MCs. I haven't taken any sick leave for IVF like you and just taken as holidays but appreciate ERA is different. For my MC which I guess is similar sort of complexity of procedure I requested the doctor didn't put MC as it would jeopardise my career - and so they just said gynae issues and work didnt ask anything more than that... maybe you could ask for this?
I know how frustrating and unfair it all is. I havent taken a days sick leave up until my MC surgery and been at the company 7 years. I have also done 4 rounds during this time and had 4 MC (1 ivf and 3 natural, 3 surgeries).. and also managed to hit all my targets and even win some performance awards.. I so wish they knew what we all go through but they are completely blind to it. I feel like they owe us really!
I am now so confused, I wasn’t expecting to have this reaction from GP but I have no choice 😢
There are always exceptions from the rules and I am wondering why we are not part of those exceptions. This is so personal and sharing our journey is not that easy.
I agree with IVFat40 thats pretty amazing that you have been able to do that! Your work are lucky to have you! I would also agree with what Cinderella5 suggested. My GP previously wrote “gynaecology treatment” and I had no further questions asked! I understand why they can’t lie, but they seem to be ok about being quite vague which I think is different and tends to do the job for work purposes. Wishing you lots of luck with getting what you need and for the procedure itself xxxx
Why can he not put procedure or hospital stay he is not lying then! Your GP is a dick head! When I had my misscarriage they didn’t put that on my cert! Sounds like he would!
That’s amazing that you gone This long without sick leave! My female GP gave me a sick note for three weeks and put gynaecology as the reason. I have all male managers so they don’t ask any questions.
I’ve had to extend my leave due to sickness and the male dr was not happy that she had put gynaecology as the reasons and not IVF. He was adamant he had to put pregnancy sickness as the reason for the extension which was fine but I didn’t get why he was so concerned with gynaecology being put down.. it’s not a lie.
OMG hes such an ass wipe. Thats horrid. I was open with my boss she has paid me for all appointments. I had my ET in monday and iv had mon,tue, wed, paid to its my day off today anyway but i return 2moz.. im working from home so its not ao bad. But like above have said all bossies are not the same. In 2017 i had an op to remove a cyst.. i a whole month off and it was down as procedure. Slightly different but my GP is brill she just writes me what i ask for as from my first cycle i had took holiday for my 2WW but only the first week then i was worries i was guna be made to do things i wasnt ment to wen returned. As i worked in care home then so didnt wanna risk it. So GP wrote me a sick note for stress..
I really hope you can figure this out and not stress to much... Best of luck hunny with your journey 💞
Thank you 🤗 it is so important to have people at work that can relate to your situation but unfortunately is not my case. They are quite strict with everything. You have to do your contractual hours from 8am to 5pm, because of the COVID they will not sign your holiday if you are planing to go abroad, if you are going abroad for whatever reason they want you to self isolate on return even the country that you have been is on exempted list etc, etc... old fashioned...
Ivf is a battle in its self I do think employers need to be educated in it as it more common than most think I also feel it should be classed as a medical condition it’s has a lot of physical and metal strain on a person maybe one day the world will catch up 🤞xx
On the self sertification sickness form I have always put 'gyneacology procedure/treatment'. That's not lying and in my experience bosses usually don't ask any questions when it comes to 'womens' problems'.
If I do need a sick note my GP tends to ask me what I'm comfortable with him writing and he usually puts gyneacology. Your GP seems a bit insensitive. x
I work in HR, written by me, we have a policy that allows reasonable time off to attend IVF appointment for both the individual undergoing treatment and the partner. Asking people to arrange where possible to minimise impact on work. However We wouldn’t offer additional paid leave for an individual choosing to get treatment abroad. If someone was signed off and travelled abroad without being open on the reasons and we found out we would question the legitimacy. If they were open about reason, we would probably allow mix of sick leave (for egg collection and recovery day) and holiday for rest. Appreciate we all work in different companies who react differently and depends on culture and trust . Even my manager has shared has shared with Directors that I’m trying to get pregnant when looking at key people to retain during upcoming change. Not particularly happy about that!
It is really nice to have a policy for IVF. What difference will make if you are going abroad or not. For egg collection you will use the same amount of days off. Flight to Spain is only 2.5h, i am sure there are lots of people that are driving for 2.5h to get to the hospital in UK. Post COVID I had enough holidays to use for doing IVF abroad, so I never used sick leave. Now because of the self isolation things changed 😤. My job can be done from home I only need one computer and a phone that is it, but my company is against working from home, they purely don’t trust people even those who have 20 years working with them (and I am damn serious)
We don’t have an IVF policy at work so like you I’ve always taken annual leave or used TOIL. I have self certified and just put down medical procedure. I’ve recently just had my first ever GP fit note and they put down anxiety due to medical procedure. Which technically was true. The GP, did ask what was I comfortable with her putting on the form. I send the documents straight to HR and not to my manager. It does seem unfair to have to use leave and I have discussed it in confidence with HR who were willing to give me a few extra days but I didn’t want my line manager knowing. I consolidated my contract hours to 4 days over 2 years ago and when my new manager decided she didn’t like me working 4 days I had no choice but to confide in HR. I have to say HR were great and immediately altered my contract to reflect my new working arrangement and really had my back with my new manager (who is an evil witch by the way!). This journey has taken a huge toll on me and I find having an extra day really beneficial. For months, I did my counselling on my day off. I could have probably found a way to make it work but I didn’t take HR up on the extra days. It just added extra stress on how to navigate it with my manager. Although I have asked HR to consider an IVF policy, that was 15 months ago and no word about it since. Good luck. Hope you get what you need Xx
Thank you! We have 2 girls working in HR that didn’t had any experience before starting in our company. They are reporting direct to the owner of the company and she is taking all the decisions. Policies are changed only after been discussed with her lawyer's, they are very good at that just like in communism. Having a baby is the most important thing for us now so if they will fire me I won’t regret, I will have a good reason to look for another job 😁
Hi dear. I usd to work in the Uk and had to do egg collection and always went before work. And took annual leave for ivf. I know it sucks but I would never ever tell them about ivf. It's no one's business but yours. You don't owe them anything. That could have an impact on your work etc. Can you not lie? What about dentist or some other doctor? You can Photoshop it and just change the reason? 😬Taking off is best as it is stressful and I used to get quiet emotional.
Surely there are privacy rules they have to comply with and have no reason to have to specify? All your work needs to know is that a GP is confirming you have a reason to be off? Good luck with it all and sorry work and your GP are causing added stress!
Yes, this is what I also think 🤔 that must be privacy rules but then why this beautiful GP didn’t know about them?!? I told him that I can provide documents from my private clinic that I am currently under the treatment and he said he doesn’t need them 🤷♀️
The following quote may be useful to bring to the attention of your GP? “What if my patient fears job loss, stigma or discrimination if I reveal their health condition (or its effect on their work functioning) on their fit note?
If you feel that revealing a particular diagnosis or limitation would harm your patient’s wellbeing or compromise their position with their employer, you can enter a less precise diagnosis on the fit note.”
Hopefully they can’t argue with that and put something that you’re both comfortable with?
My GP also gave me the talk that she could not lie when I didn’t want for her to mention IVF on my certificate, but was happy to put ‘medical procedure’
My manager was super nosey and insisted she needed to know what kind of medical procedure so she could support me better 😳
I did not tell her in the end, but it was a battle!
At least offered you an option but mine was lost in translation 😂 when I started to go into details about my procedure and biopsy I had the feeling that I lost him, was too much info 😆
I worried about my work knowing about IVF but it was getting really hard asking for time off at short notice so ended up having to be honest with them that I was going through IVF, I went to HR rather than my actual manager at first and it ended up the best thing I did as work ended up putting in an ivf policy that gave anyone going through ivf all their time for scans off and 2 weeks paid leave for treatment. I know not all companies are that understanding but I really didn’t think mine would be to be honest so you never know xx
I must say that you are lucky, you have good people working there. Mine are not changing even the temperature in the office (where we have constantly 19C🥶) but having a policy for IVF 🥴😬😳- NEVER!
We had a gynae webinar at work about 'the ages of a woman' and they talked through things like pregnancy, menopause etc., and the time off you could get and that it was recommended to tell people so you were supported etc. IVF was never mentioned! We could ask anonymous questions so I asked what the policy was for IVF and whether the woman should tell my company that they were doing IVF and the answer was there was no support for IVF as it wasn't deemed necessary and it was 'such a private thing' and they wouldnt recommend telling management if you were going through it unless you really felt the need to because people wouldnt know how to react!!??? True story!!
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