Age 21, AMH levels of 45 year old - d... - Fertility Network UK

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Age 21, AMH levels of 45 year old - desperate

BarneyandPatsy profile image

I’m devastated. My AMH levels are 8. I’m at university, have not even started my career, have had a boyfriend for 9 months....

Whatever way I look at it, there are no options

1. If I freeze non existent eggs now, when do I try to fertilise them? I may not have a partner. My partner upon knowing this may walk away

2. Does it mean that I will have my menopause soon and if so, I can’t fertilise them later anyway?

3. I’ll have to stop university in my last year to have freezing treatment - I don’t get a degree, I don’t get a career

4. No one will want me when they find out that there’s almost no chance of a baby

5 will my current t boyfriend make the decision to walk away if it gets more serious knowing about my situation

Do I go abroad for freezing, U.K.? Best centres? Best chance

All I ever wanted was my own family. My dad died 3 years ago and now I’ve found this out. As you can see I’m devastated. I just feel there’s no hope.

7 Replies

hey I didn't want to read this and not post. I haven't got advice but want you to know that it was exactly how I felt when our results came back, like it was never going to happen, but today we are currently waiting for our baby furniture delivery. Everyone's numbers and situation can be different but know that miracles can happen and it only takes one little follicle to get you that baby, and if it doesn't, there are so many ways you can still become a family with the right person xxx

Thank you for your message. I’m unsure what age you are but for me part of my devastation is that at 21 I’m not even in a long term relationship and not even thinking about children because of this. Therefore it’s thrown everything up in the air. If I were a bit older with a long term partner and we were to find this out together then that’s a different situation.

This sounds like a big shock and I understand you are worried! 8 is not too bad and you can get some nice eggs with that. I agree that it might go down in the future, so freezing does not seem unreasonable. Have you talked to a fertility specialist about this? You would not have to stop uni for a freezing cycle. It is no walk in the park but you can do it with taking just a few days off - maybe planning to have it in term break even. Some people just need egg collection off, some people need 2-3 days after that. Your scans are possible before uni starts in the morning usually and that is not going on for too long. Frozen eggs fertilise ok at later points, it is really worth having a chat with a fertility specialist. You can have a good chance of a baby with frozen eggs! One aspect is the financial one, it requires some funding.

I know this is hard, but don't worry about anyone walking away from you because of fertility struggles. If they do, they would have walked away at some other point anyway. There is always a solution if you wanted babies later, even if your own reserve would be too low. There is egg donation, there is embryo adoption and classical fostering and adoption. A lot of guys do have fertility struggles too, so it might not just be you in your relationship then. If I was your boyfriend or future partner I would find it very thoughtful and mature of you to have thought about the future and consider a plan to deal with that AHM on the lower side. I hope that your boyfriend is mature enough to understand that this is important for you and you are planning for the future and not having babies with him tomorrow. There is definitely hope! Hugs!

BarneyandPatsy profile image
BarneyandPatsy in reply to Tigr

Thank you for for your kind words and advice x

Hi

Please remember AMH is just one indicator of how many eggs you have if you have a scan mid cycle they can see how many follicles you have and how you would react to the medication! Also your age is a very good thing as you are 21 it will mean any eggs you have should be of very good quality and highly likely to fertilise.

I know this news is very daunting when I first got with my husband he told me the likely hood of us having children was extremely slim but I stuck with him and now have 2 beautiful ivf/Icsi children all because he froze samples when he was younger so I think you would be extremely sensible to freeze eggs and like Tigr suggested maybe do it when you break from uni a couple of months won’t make a huge difference and it will give you time to get your head around everything.

Hope this helps please think positive the fact you know now is amazing as you can plan and increase your chances when your ready xXx

Hi my love. Sorry to hear about your losing your dad, especially with you being so young, and the also stress of university and thinking about your fertility. That's a lot all at once! I would say focus on your university for now. With only one year left, it is not worth it to throw it away. But also, you can go through things concurrently (a lot of us are in full time work or studying and going down this journey).

One of the two clinics I've been to has posted this advice on AMH (simply-fertility.com/a-guid...). I would say 8 is not that low of an AMH and you may become pregnant naturally, but I can understand you thinking about this seriously now and wanting to make sure you make the right decisions. AMH can also fluctuate and can go up and down depending on when tested, by clinic etc. so it's not an absolute. And people on here take supplements and eat healthily etc. to try and increase AMH (it's possible).

Definitely talk to a fertility specialist, but eggs do not survive the freezing/thawing process as well as embryos so this is a consideration. Also, the financial side of it... but you can do things like egg sharing to bring this cost down if that is something that interests you.

Also, please don't worry that men won't understand or desire you because of this. This is not a defect on your part and fertility struggles are sadly becoming all too common.

I don't want to write too too much, but just wanted you to say there is definitely hope for you becoming pregnant in the future and there's also lots of ways to make a family, and I wouldn't rush in to any decisions. Lots of love xxxxxxxx

I know this must seem like a big shock and absolutely devastating. But, you do have options and you can still have your own family. There are many options.

Based on your questions, some advice is below:

1. If I freeze non existent eggs now, when do I try to fertilise them? I may not have a partner.

My partner upon knowing this may walk away

You can fertilise the eggs when you are ready - you can wait 10 years if you want. If your partner walks away, then he is not worth marrying or being with anyway. I have learned that relationships are very tough and these kinds of situations helps you pick a partner that is a good one - supportive, non-judgemental and "through sickness and in health"

2. Does it mean that I will have my menopause soon and if so, I can’t fertilise them later anyway

Even if you get menopause you can still implant the eggs/embryos and have a successful pregnancy. It is the age when you freeze the eggs that matters, not when you implant them in your womb. Women who are 60+ have given birth to a younger woman's eggs. Doesn't matter when you implant them, it is the age you freeze them.

3. I’ll have to stop university in my last year to have freezing treatment - I don’t get a degree, I don’t get a career

You do not need to stop university. It is recommended you freeze three cycles which takes two weeks each - you can do this in your summer break.

4. No one will want me when they find out that there’s almost no chance of a baby

That is not true. I have met many women who can't have children and they are loved all the more. There are many ways to create a family and remember - you can still have your own child. Your eggs will be great quality because you are so young. Freeze them soon and you should be fine.

5 will my current t boyfriend make the decision to walk away if it gets more serious knowing about my situation

Try not to think about this now. The boyfriend you have at 21 is often different from the person you marry later on in life, in my case anyway! Only tell him if you feel he will be supportive. Most men will not be ready for a child at 21 anyway. As I said, these kind of situations are a blessing in a way because they help you filter the good partners from the bad partners.

6 Do I go abroad for freezing, U.K.? Best centres? Best chance

You should be eligible on the NHS. I would start the process now through the NHS. You are just freezing eggs, not having them fertilised so the success rates of clinics do not apply.

xx

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