Test day

[Purplewitch18]

Well its officially test day and im not even going to bother. Spent all of last night crying and feeling stabbing pains in my tummy, a sure sign of my period on its way. Dont think ill be doing ivf again as its too emotionially draining. After being so positive this round the worst has still happened. All ive learned is that life is cruel, and thats just the way it is, and theres nothing any of us can do about that. Wishing all of you better luck xx

[Italy300618]

I'm so so sorry love 💗💗 life is so unfair and cruel. You dont deserve it, thinking of you, and sending lots of love your way, it hurts very much so make sure you take time xxx

[amandac84]

I’m so so sorry for you: it really feels so horrible right now. But see how you go take time to recover from this and see you how feel. Sending hugs xx

[Hidden]

Oh I am so so sorry lovely, it really does feel like the end of the world when it fails. Sending you so much love. Take time to grieve for lost hope and what might have been and your embybaby. You don’t need to make any decisions now so just spend time looking after yourself xx

[Picalilli99]

So sorry. The disappointment really is devastating. Sending you big hugs xxx

[CLDxxx]

So sorry lovely. It’s so hard when it fails, especially when you’ve done everything you could. It’s so unfair.

Take some time for you and be kind to yourself xxx

[Hidden]

So sorry to hear this. Take time to heal and pamper yourself. Try again when you are ready! Take care!

[Koryu]

*hugs* I am so very sorry. Take all the time for self care you need right now and be kind to yourself. To say this is a hard process doesn't even scratch the surface.

[Hidden]

So so sorry, sending you hugs love, take care of yourself xx

[Lisichka]

Hi there

I am so sorry to hear this. It definitely sucks. It is so draining and horrible, with all that hope and then a let down. I’ve been through all of that myself (3 transfers with a miscarriage, cp, bfn) and know exactly how it feels. What helps me cope is thinking that the timing wasn’t right but it’ll definitely happen. Look after yourself and take your time in processing it. I took a few months off all things ivf and it really helped me to be in a better place for another go. Wishing you all the best.

Lots of hugs x

[Purplewitch18 in reply to Lisichka]

Im so sorry for your losses Lisi. Ive been telling myself about the whole timing thing for the last 3.5 years, got to say its wearing a bit thin now lol, but i do know what you mean. I am going to take a month off and then see if we want to go again. Money is running out now so its even more pressure. Plus im

Already 40 with low reserves so i dont have much time to take a break im afraid xx

[Lisichka in reply to Purplewitch18]

I know re break but do take a little time off anyway, just a couple of months. You need to.

I’m also so over the whole thing, just did a transfer number 4 with two embryos and if this is not successful, we have to start a new round in the States and fork out another $25k. Take care of yourself. This journey is tough, I fully emphasise. xxx

[Purplewitch18 in reply to Lisichka]

Well i hope you wont need to and that this time is the one that works for you xx

[Purplewitch18]

Thankyou all for your kind words. Im going to try and sleep as my eyes are so sore from all the crying. Still waiting on my period. If it doesnt come ill test end of the week just to confirm things. Managed to have a shower and do the school run this morning though im not sure how! Xx

[Cinderella5 in reply to Purplewitch18]

Aww I'm so sorry! I just wanted to to xonfirm the test so I could get off the crappy medication!! Hugs.xx

[Purplewitch18 in reply to Cinderella5]

I will do, just not ready to see that one lonely line again just yet xx

[RhinoCat]

I pretty much knew too but I tested anyway as I wanted to stop the yucky tablets and gels. I felt I could stop hoping better once I knew. Have you stopped your gels etc ?

It is such a crappy process but I do think riding the storm in a positive place makes the journey easier . Imagine feeling the way you do .... for the two weeks and all the stims days etc..... your wee heart couldn’t have handled all that .

It’s completely devastating after all of the torture you’ve endured this past few weeks. But at least you tried 😘

Sending love and hugs at this shitty time,

It’s just so unfair ,

Hugs 🤗

Rhinocat x 💐💖💖💖💖

[Purplewitch18 in reply to RhinoCat]

Hi rhino, no im only on the pessaries and have enough to last untill sunday, so on the off chance im wrong ill keep taking them until im ready to see yet another negative test. Thats if my af doesnt show up, i know the pessaries can hold her off but feels like she is desperate to make an appearence. Im glad i tested the day earlier to prepare myself, but on the slim chance if im wrong im gonna look a right lemon after this 🤣. Honestly, 99% sure im right xx

[RhinoCat in reply to Purplewitch18]

🍋.... hoping still then 🙏🏻

Let it be 🙏🏻💖💐💐💐💐💐

[Purplewitch18 in reply to RhinoCat]

Bless ya xx

[dreams28]

I just want to say you can bever be100 % sure without testing. Bfp sign and af signs can be the same for abit of women. Can I ask is there any other reason you dont think its it's happened?

[Purplewitch18 in reply to dreams28]

I tested on day 13 and got 2 bfn’s, no faint lines or anything. X

[Kyell2]

I’m so sorry. Sending lots of hugs your way. Take time to grieve and then you can make more choices when you are ready xx

[KiboXX]

I’m so sorry Purplewitch18, I know how devastating it is when it doesn’t work. Wish I could say something to make you feel better but I know that’s an impossible ask. It’s ok to not be ok. Sending you a big hug xx

[Purplewitch18 in reply to KiboXX]

Thankyou Kiboxx, and no theres nothing you can say, but just to have those of you who have taken the time to read and reply to my post makes it a whole lot easier. Youve all been where i am today xx

[dreams28]

Sorry to hear that. As hard as it is when it fails. Your time will come!!!

[ttcemmie]

Oh Purplewitch. So so sorry to hear this. This is cruel and unfair and you don't deserve this. It's so sad that this is the way this stupid journey goes. Test when you feel strong enough if you need to and also don't feel like you need to make any massive decisions about your future right now. When I am having terrible days (failed IVFs, MMC etc.) it takes all my strength to not quit my job and get a dog (neither of which would help me with my fertility). Can understand if you don't want to do IVF again as it is an awful awful thing to go through, but you may find yourself even stronger than before and making different decisions when you have the space to process this all. A failed IVF cycle is a grief (wish it was recognised as such!) and take your time with all this. Sending lots of love and hugs. xxxx

[Purplewitch18 in reply to ttcemmie]

Thankyou emmie, youre right it is a greif, especially when youve seen your little embryo which is your potential child. It almost feels like an early mc because you know you will bleed it out, and thats the worst part. Its a loss, whether it implanted or not, because you carried it inside you. Ive ended up having two clients change appointments this week which is a blessing as now i have a couple of days for it all to sink in. The thing is, where do we draw the line? I also thought about getting a dog yesterday lol xx

[ttcemmie in reply to Purplewitch18]

You're right - it is like a mc. We believe IVF will work, otherwise we wouldn't do it as it's horrendous to go through, and so it's a massive loss if it doesn't progress. Glad you're having some relief from clients - I have booked myself a week off work (holiday) for this round's results because I don't know how I will cope. Glad I'm not the only nutcase that thinks getting a dog is a good idea after IVF! If you can get a dog in your situation, though, go for it! I'm not saying noone should get dogs! Lol. It's just not a good idea in our current situation (plus our cat would be mad at us). xxx

[Purplewitch18 in reply to ttcemmie]

Yeh my cat would be a bit pissed too! Daughter would love it though, not sure OH would be too impressed 😬🙀. A week off sounds good, if we go again i will be doing that too just incase, plus its probablu our last chance so ill be much more of a wreck if it doesnt work. I read tarot, and keeps telling me im on the right path and things will turn round soon, keeo getting children cards. Only thing is, it cant tell you when!! Omg this really does send you nuts 😱xxx

[KiboXX in reply to Purplewitch18]

Glad I’m not the only one who thought a dog was a good idea after IVF failure. I did actually get one though 😂 xx

[Purplewitch18 in reply to KiboXX]

Ha ha, fair play Kibo 👍🐶xx

[HemBella]

Hugs to you xxxx

[Luna_79]

So sorry to hear this, it’s so so hard, life is unfair the one thing we all went so much in this world , take time to be kind to yourself , I’m 40 too so I get where you are coming from and hard not to feel time isn’t in our side but I keep telling myself it can still happen. Maybe after some rest and some time you may be ready to try again but I’m the meantime sending you a big hug x

[KayCan]

I'm really sorry to read this, there's nothing I can really say that hasn't already been said, I just wanted to send you some virtual hugs 🤗🤗🤗. I so hope you are wrong, but I guess you know your body better than anyone. I hope you will be kind to yourself, you done everything right, its just this roller coaster that is IVF 🎢 Take care lovely xx

[Purplewitch18 in reply to KayCan]

Thankyou lovely. Well ive got quite a bit of mucus down there, sorry if tmi!, still got the on off stabbing pains and heartburn when i eat. Guessing its a build up of period waiting to start. Has anyone still started bleeding while on the pessaries? Im on one a day xx

[KayCan in reply to Purplewitch18]

Personally no, but do the pessaries not delay things? Also not to get your hopes up but those pesky symptoms can sometimes be mistaken for period coming. Maybe you just wait a few days to test then you will know for sure 💕

[Purplewitch18 in reply to KayCan]

Omg i hope i dont get a really nasty heavy bleed when i stop them! I think ill test friday and take it from there, i just need to build myself up for it xx

[KayCan in reply to Purplewitch18]

You do what you feel is right, there's no pressure ❤