Christmas and trying to be happy

[TTC0011]

Hey everyone

I feel like a real martyr because it’s a Christmas and a happy time, yet I feel miserable with our infertility. Seeing all the kids stuff this time of year, families celebrating and everyone asking us when we’re having our own family has me more miserable than normal with it. I even got to the point I cancelled dinner with a friend because she’s got young kids and I knew we’d be talking about her family life. Now I feel a rubbish friend, I just don’t feel strong enough right now. I am not normally a crier but this last week has been grim with all the emotions.

I know we’re not a lost cause so I don’t want to seem all ‘first world problems’ but I’m finding this festive season more tough than I should.

[L2213]

Don’t beat yourself up, this time of year is tough and I feel the same way and I’m sure lots of others do too. Hopefully if your friends are good friends they’ll understand. Be good to yourself and do what’s right for you, try and plan some nice things to look forward to and remember you aren’t alone. I hope your Christmas is ok and that 2020 is a happier year for you xxx

[ttcemmie]

I know. It sucks. It's supposed to be the best time of year, but it is just a massive reminder of the family we don't have. Do whatever you need for your own sanity (we're avoiding a big family 'do on Boxing Day for this reason. Hopefully they'll understand). Try to enjoy any non-kid related activities and do whatever you can to get through to January; where a new year will hopefully be a new start and bring fresh hope.

[sarah01855]

I think there's probably a lot of women on here who are feeling the same way as you - I certainly am. I think at this time of the year that family, or lack of it, is really magnified and everything seems so much harder than it normally does. I've tried to avoid putting myself in situations that I know are going to upset me; I don't want to be mean by I'm really trying to put myself and my feelings first. Always here if you want to chat x

[bluedoor]

I feel for you. I'm surprised at how hard i'm finding it all near christmas now. I'm so emotional. Try and take each day as it comes. You're not a bad friend, if you need to take time out for your own emotional wellbeing that is ok x

[LeeCee15]

Yep you’re not alone, I feel like this too. Social media makes things worse for me as all I see are pics of people getting ready for Christmas and days out with their kids and here I am being and feeling all Scrooge like 😐 and I know it sometimes feels like nobody understands. I would usually be going to parties and things which means some things to look forward to but this year I’m recovering from surgery so I can’t even do that 😩 so I’m just being a massive Scrooge this year 😂😂.

Just remember though, you’re not alone. It’s a hard journey to go through and you have every right to feel the way you do. Try and find something to take your mind off things and I hope 2020 is a fab year for us all 🙂 Xx

[HollyT7]

I know exactly what you mean. Christmas felt like it was cancelled last year, I just about out the tree up let alone all the gazillion baubles. To make it worse I had a super long spell of no period only to start on Xmas day, and that was just on an iui break, let alone during ivf. But know that next Christmas can be totally different and you may have that little bean nice and comfy in your tummy. Sod going to Xmas meals and being around little people, you do what's right for you this year and make it as good as you can. You deserve a break and so take whatever joy you can from the pretty lights and most of all the amounts of wine available!! Because you never know what next year can bring... Lots of hugs xxx

[TTC0011]

Thanks so much everyone. This is really so appreciate and nice in a way that there are more of us out there feeling like this. It’s not that I’m not happy for other people or bitter, I’m really not that way at all. I just feel so sad for our situation that It feels a struggle this month for sure. Xx

[Caitlin-m]

It’s ok to look after yourself, if she is a true friend she will understand. This is a really tough time of year for a lot of people, for lots of reasons. Hang in there x

[Daisy08]

Hi I think it's totally normal to feel this way. All the social media posts of kids dressed up, activities and pantomimes. I've had to come away from those channels at the moment. We've been trying for 6 years and every Christmas we tell ourselves maybe next year but it's hard. My husband and I also turned down spending new year with close friends who we love and whose kids we love but couldn't face seeing in 2020 with the perfect family we so desperately want but can't have. Don't beat yourself up about feeling sad or letting others down. Be kind to yourself and do what you need to get through it. Hopefully the new year will bring us all better luck. Sending hugs xx