Let's laugh not cry!: I hope no one... - Fertility Network UK

Fertility Network UK
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Let's laugh not cry!

Frankie31
Frankie31
β€’91 Replies

I hope no one minds this post, and absolutely no offence or upset is meant.

IVF is such a rollercoaster, and at this time of year it's hard to think about anything other than the family you desperately want. So, I though , wouldn't it be nice if we shared some funny stories or experiences we have had during this IFV process?! I know I have a few, and I bet I'm not alone .

I'll kick things off.... but who else would like to join me? Xxx

91 Replies
oldest β€’ newest
Itsalongjourney26

Great idea... My husband accidentally closed our sharps box and we had to use an Ariel liquitabs box πŸ˜†πŸ˜†

Frankie31

MEN 🀣 my husband is the centre of all my funny stories....

Frankie31

After my first scan /consultation appointment (day 1 of my period) I handed my husband my leggings with a pair of knickers and a fresh pad in them so I could whip them back on in one swoop.... as he handed them back he said, in ear shot of the consultant...."have you not put any knickers on today? Arnt young your period." I heard the consultant laugh behind the curtain. 🀣

Itsalongjourney26

This is brilliant πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

HollyT7

I told my partner not to look down there when the nurse was just about to pop my frostie back in and she just looked at me and said 'I'd like to think he's saw it before... Or is he your brother!' πŸ€” xxx

Frankie31
Frankie31
in reply to HollyT7

Haha! When your so on show it's hard to come back with a witty comment to that... imagine if you responded with..."well actually now you mention it...."

HollyT7
HollyT7
in reply to Frankie31

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Tbh I was laughing but trying so hard not to wee on the table my bladder was that full! She said no one had done that yet, I was like well ill be the first πŸ˜‚ xx

Frankie31
Frankie31
in reply to HollyT7

That full bladder is just too much! I said I may pee if you press any harder and was told I better not....or they would give me the mop to clean up!

HollyT7
HollyT7
in reply to Frankie31

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Suzy86

Great thread!

After my first transfer I was so keen to get my legs out of the stirrups and get off the table that I kicked my doctor square in the head and to cover up my embarrassment I said β€œsorry but at least I didn’t pee on you!” My finest hour!

Skippy1982
Skippy1982
in reply to Suzy86

BrillliantπŸ˜‚

SharlyWarly
SharlyWarly
in reply to Suzy86

I love this, really made me laugh thanks x

Frankie31

Oh god! Your poor doctor! But... you are right.. holding that pee in is a real challenge! πŸ™ˆ

Suzy86
Suzy86
in reply to Frankie31

My subsequent transfers seemed to be pretty speedy after that!! At least she will never forget me! πŸ˜‚

Frankie31
Frankie31
in reply to Suzy86

Every cloud and all that 🀣🀣

MissSaoPaulo

When my husband was in the little room giving his 'sample' on EC day my Dad kept messaging him talking about football. Apparently that's really off-putting!!

Frankie31

Did your dad know how important that day was? And did you ever tell your dad how bad that timing was?!!!

The day my husband give his first sample for testing I had pre loaded his phone with some "help" πŸ™ˆ. The clinic was miles from our home and we didn't anticipate such bad traffic so when we arrived he jumped out the car, I hopped over to the drivers seat and realised he had left his phone. I eventually found a parking space and went to meet him in the clinic. .. only to bump into him half way up the street... turns out he didnt need the phone the stress of the rushing was enough to give a super speedy sample! That is now affectionately known as "the stress w**k" 🀣🀣🀣

MissSaoPaulo

Did your husband ever complain about giving the sample. Mine whinged it was 'embarrassing'. Had to count to about a million to keep cool after that comment!

No one knew we were doing IVF, we didn't tell anyone until after we were successful. Maybe I'll tell my Dad how he nearly spoiled the whole thing when we take the baby to England this Christmas!!

Frankie31

O my word yes please tell him and let us know what he says! He will be so embarrassed.... may be run it by hubby first !

He never once complained about a sample but I did make he come into every exam with me so I think he knew better.

I do recall a lecture style group session we went to... slide show and explanations from the head of IVF at our clinic. He want into minute detail about egg retrieval and long needles... anathetic how you would feel after, popping follicles ect ect. He then whizzed over the mere possibility that some men may need sperm surgically removed but it very rare so enough of that.

Anyway... fastforward an hour or so and we are in the supermarket and hubby says ." God that must be awful" me looking perplexed..."what must be love".... "having sperm surgically removed" he replied.

How I did not kill him there and then I will never know. I just simply replied "yeh, but that egg collection looked like a barrel of laughs didnt it!" 🀬🀯

Purplis
Purplis
in reply to Frankie31

Now I really had a laugh. Very typical of men! 🀣

All he heard from ALL that talk was the surgical removal of spermπŸ€¦πŸ½β€β™€οΈ

Frankie31
Frankie31
in reply to Purplis

I know! I was livid but in total shock. I then dared to suggest that it is possibly on par with egg collection as you know, they are both balls full off stuff that's needed and retreaved in a similar way. He suggested I couldnt possibly compare the 2. 🀯

amandac84

I can’t think of a funny story but I LOVE this thread what a great idea!! I will think of my funny stories as they keep me sane I share with my friends as I find it the easiest way to deal with it! Xx

Frankie31
Frankie31
in reply to amandac84

Sometimes you just have to take away all the stress and upset and find something to laugh at! I hope these are giving you a chuckle.... and tips.... like dont kick your dr in the head post transfer! πŸ™ˆ

Leannec1987

When we went to are PTA the nurse said about putting the tablet up my bum and my partner said il help her with that and the nurse said just throw it from the other side of the room I think she was trying to hint I got a fat arse lol then when my partner got his sperm count it was so high he ask the consultant to take a pic on his phone so the consultant spent ages zooming in and out get the best photo it was so funny just to show his mates πŸ˜‚

Frankie31

Oh I love this!

My husband's sperm count was "one of the best I have seen" -consultants words.... but I think it was more man to man! We got an print out and I swear had I not shoved it in the 'hospital crap' file he would have put it in a frame and had it as a screan saver!

Leannec1987

Yeh this photo has gone viral 🀣Well once the consultant send he could populate 10% of the country he couldn't get his head through the door and rang everyone to tell them and now has a nickname in the clinic is super duper πŸ˜‚ men do make me laugh

Mumbi18
Mumbi18
in reply to Leannec1987

Same thing our consultant said to my hubby. He spend about 30 minutes talking about everything that was wrong with me and then briefly mentions how great my husband sperm is. I just rolled my eyes.

Leannec1987
Leannec1987
in reply to Mumbi18

Yeah makes us women feel worse but big kids get excited about the smallest things

Mumbi18
Mumbi18
in reply to Leannec1987

Right Leanne..

ashalez
ashalez
in reply to Leannec1987

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Frankie31
Frankie31
in reply to Mumbi18

They just need all the glory and gratification! It's probably average but the doctors know how much it means to them 🀣

Mumbi18
Mumbi18
in reply to Frankie31

Exactly. Great post Frankie.

Lindt83

Hi lovely ladies

Last week I went for my day 9 scan and I had a junior nurse who was being observed by a more senior nurse. I started to feel a bit uneasy as I was already very sore and emotional and didn't want any extra fiddling about down below.

Anyway she lay me down and then got the probe ready. Then she said you'll feel a bit of cold jelly, and at that point the jelly felt a bit lower than usual. As she pushed harder and said 'I'm in' I said to my husband 'I think she's in the wrong hole!'To which she pushed the probe deeper and replied 'No I'm in the right place'.... except she wasn't!

The more senior nurse had to take over after changing the covering on the probe.

My DH thought it was hilarious and couldn't stop laughing about it afterwards. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

CLDxxx
CLDxxx
in reply to Lindt83

This is hilarious πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Suzy86
Suzy86
in reply to Lindt83

This is just too funny hahahah

Frankie31

O my god!!! She shoved the probe up your bum!!!! Well that's the teeny bit of dignity you had left gone.. and hers! πŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆπŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£

Lindt83
Lindt83
in reply to Frankie31

Yeah I couldn't believe it!! I thought this is just what I need! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Frankie31
Frankie31
in reply to Lindt83

I love how she thought she was correcting you aswell.... er hello hun, I know that's my bum!

Lindt83
Lindt83
in reply to Frankie31

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

sun-and-rain

But actually, she could have seen just what she needed from that angle too. When virgins have ultrasound scans for some reasons (menstrual irregularities for example) they actually do it by the butt hole. And it works just as perfect 😜

Frankie31

Well you learn something new ever day! Still, it's better up the vag than up the bum...πŸ˜†

sun-and-rain

I would agree 😁

Lindt83

Lol, I'm not sure that's actually true! My husband just laughed at that comment and he's a GP! πŸ™ˆ

sun-and-rain

Well, it might defer between practitioners and/or countries. My gynecologist did my scan rectally when I needed to have an internal check-up before having initiated my sexual life (I was actually a virgin until I married at the age of 32!), and she said she would do it that way since I was a virgin.

Lindt83

Hmm interesting πŸ€”. I'm not sure it works that way in the UK. Where are you from?

sun-and-rain

I'm from a Nordic country. Btw, I'm a midwife, and my older colleagues have told me that 30-40 years ago it was standard procedure to check the cervix' opening by the rectum in stead of vaginally. Probably there was an idea that that would be more hygienic...? I'm actually glad it changed before I started my career. Must have been awfully uncomfortable for the birthing women...

Lindt83

I guess you're right, it must differ from country to country. I'm pretty certain in the UK it'll be an abdominal scan instead.

sun-and-rain

But you can't see as much with an abdominal scan as with an internal scan... And well, it is uncomfortable havin the probe going in rectally, but it's not the end of the world 😜 Anyways, I'll not ruin this thread with serious stuff anymore πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Lindt83

Well good thing they don't do it here! 😜

Jen_jen

Ahhh can’t believe I’m sharing mine πŸ™ˆ after β€˜emptying’ my bladder 3 times at the hospital after my embie transfer. On the car journey home I suddenly was busting on a pee and was stuck in traffic, luckily there was an empty coffee cup in the car and yes... I peed in that.. first time that’s happened to me πŸ˜‚πŸ™ˆ

Frankie31
Frankie31
in reply to Jen_jen

You go girl!

How bad is that pee tho!!! And did it stay in the car with you till you got home?

In after my first frostie transfer I asked "is it safe to pee now" whilst still on the table. The doctor said yes I was good to go and pee. I RAN down the corridor with the back of my gown still open πŸ™ˆ.

After my 2 frostie transfer I peed 3 times in the hospital then sat in the coffee shop across the road for an hour to make sure I didn't need to go again because it was a long drive home.

HJ841

We had an eventful time on our first round. The wheel came off the trolley when they were bringing me back onto the ward from egg collection and I nearly fell off!

Then they were running 2hrs late for the transfer. By the time we got out, we discovered that we'd been locked in. The only way out and back to reception was via andrology and they'd gone home half an hour earlier as it was Friday. Tried to ring reception, but got no answer. Couldn't get back onto the ward as it was locked. Husband had to try and track down a random cleaner to get us out of the building! πŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆ We still laugh about it now. x

Frankie31
Frankie31
in reply to HJ841

Woah not what you want after collection or transfer. I'd be like, I'm sitting here go sort this s#*t out to my husband!

murakami
murakami
in reply to HJ841

What?! Oh that's hilarious, probably wasn't at the time.

Great thread btw OP!!

Missl73

I was too much a wimp to do my own injections so my hubby did them all. We were at a friends wedding in Italy and nipped off to the loos so he could give me a jab, nobody was around so we slipped into a cubicle and did my injection. When we came out a queue had formed and we got a round of applause. I wish we had been having sex that would have been a lot more fun!!!!

Frankie31
Frankie31
in reply to Missl73

🀣 Good on your husband for being a star and doing the needles...... shame he didn't really get a reward in them loos!

amyw_15

This is such a brilliant idea 😊😊

Before my egg collection I’d asked my husband to help tie the hospital gown as I couldn’t tie it myself.. didn’t think it check it just presumed I was good to go. Walking across to the room with the male nurse and he was like β€œoh just let me fix your gown for you, you’re all on show!” I was so embarrassed! My husband thought it was the funniest thing ever πŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆ xx

Frankie31
Frankie31
in reply to amyw_15

Aw at least the nurse was thoughtful enough to fix it! Hope hubby got the death stare! πŸ™ˆπŸ˜£

amyw_15
amyw_15
in reply to Frankie31

Oh yes!! He did!! When we went in for our FET I double checked he covered my bum before I left the room this time πŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆ xx

Mumbi18

During one of our consultations, we were going through my blood results. The doctor paused, looked at the results and mentions you came back positive for hepatitis b. I started crying and explaimed "are you telling me I have aids?". My husband looked at me and laughed so hard. The doctor just looked at me in amazement. It then clicked what hep b was. I had came back positive due to immunization as a child.

It was so embarrassing.

Frankie31
Frankie31
in reply to Mumbi18

Whoa, that appointment went from normal to holy crap to funny in seconds! Story for the doctor to dine out on!

ttcemmie

Love this thread. Mine aren't as good as others - but two things:

1/ Hubby had his sperm called "pristine" by a doctor and he has dined out on that for over a year now (even though his sperm has gone downhill since then!)

2/ During my medical miscarriage where I was bleeding all over the floor, multiple nurses came in to tell us both "how well" my husband was handling it and "wasn't he amazing". Lol. Yes, well done for not freaking out. Noone praised me!

Frankie31
Frankie31
in reply to ttcemmie

Pristine? That makes me think its was glowing white with no creases 🀣

Well I'll praise you hunny, well done you. I'm sure the nurses praised him to encourage him to be strong and to make you realise he was there for you. But for you in that moment I want to punch them all for you and tell you yes its s##t but you have to do this, and you have got this . I got you ❀

ttcemmie
ttcemmie
in reply to Frankie31

Yes men do need more encouragement than us women! I think they were generally surprised that he was pretty open and chill about it. He is amazing. 😊 And I thought it was lovely of them to say. We women do just have to get on with our side of the process! Thanks for your support xxx

HollyT7

This is the best post topic ever πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈ

Frankie31
Frankie31
in reply to HollyT7

We should make sure this is a topic every few month for new stories!

Picalilli99

Love this thread πŸ€£πŸ‘. IVF is such a shit-show, it’s so good to embrace the funny moments whenever you can!

We have had cycles at 3 different clinics now. When we moved to our 1st private clinic after our failed NHS round, we had to re-do some of our tests again. My hubby couldn’t get over how plush the room was that he had to do his sample in (with an array of β€˜helpful’ material), a stark contrast to the NHS alternative. Then we got our first invoice and had to laugh about it being the most expensive w*nk he’s ever had. After moving to our 2nd private clinic he was comparing facilities and seemed a little disappointed . Thinking he might start writing tripadvisor reviews for them 🀣

Frankie31

Imagine that trip advisor review about W#*k facilities!!!

It's a shit show all on it's own. It's been good to laugh

nr03

Love the idea of this thread!!

CBOO1

This is such a good idea & has really given me a laugh this morning!

On one of my many many scans before going ahead with treatment we thought we were pretty clued up on what we were looking at on the screen & then one day I saw something unusual..... in the end I had to ask. What’s that black bit there?? The sonographer said ummmm do you really want to know? Yeah what is it? Oh well that’s poo!!!! πŸ™ˆ my partner thought this was hysterical!!

Frankie31
Frankie31
in reply to CBOO1

Hahahah! You know I'm gonna be asking what's poo on my next scan..

LKT1

Waking from a deep woozy sleep after egg collection. My first question whilst I was still off my head wasn’t β€˜how did it go?’ No it was β€˜can I have my tea and biscuits now please’ πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I had cut caffeine and really restricted refined sugar before collection. Obviously my subconscious had had enough of that! X

Suzy86
Suzy86
in reply to LKT1

Haha! My second egg collection I was just totally obsessed with getting my sandwich so I understand!!

A friend of mine before I had my first collection kept implanting in my head that when I woke up I’d say something stupid like...nice tits! (She’d seen a video online of a guy doing this and thought it was hilarious!)

Soooo obviously that being in my subconscious...we all know what happens next. Maybe my brain took at as a dare..?! To be honest I don’t think I’d even opened my eyes at that point before I said it. Poor lady I expect she hears all sorts of rubbish. My husband couldn’t believe it when I told him πŸ™ˆ

Frankie31
Frankie31
in reply to Suzy86

Oh no! Nice tits?! Well you will have made her day I bet! πŸ™ˆ

LKT1
LKT1
in reply to Suzy86

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Frankie31
Frankie31
in reply to Suzy86

I remember coming round from egg collection in a side room before going to the ward. I asked the standard "how many?" (Because nice tits isn't standard πŸ™ˆ) And was delighted to hear 30!

So still in a daze as soon as I was trolled into the ward the first thing I said to my husband was "30" his response...."30 what" ...

The nurse then said..." come on hun, she means eggs, where have you been?!" And hit him over the head with a bag of saline solution 🀣

Suzy86
Suzy86
in reply to Frankie31

Can’t believe you don’t think saying nice tits is standard! It’s quite the compliment I think πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

πŸ™ˆ to what your husband said. Glad the nurse knocked some sense into him!Honestly though that sounds like something my husband would say!!! Men throughout this process sure do come out with some crackers!

Frankie31
Frankie31
in reply to Suzy86

I'm going to start using nice tits as a compliment if it's now standard!

Oh god the stuff he has said and the things I have over heard other men say is just ridiculous... I'm still not 100% convinced they really know the process .

Lots8788

A few things:

1) After waking up from being sedated after egg collection, I didn't ask how many eggs they had collected but instead whether they had fixed the tumble dryer (ours was broken at the time)

2) When doing our 2nd transfer it was a bit more difficult than the first for some reason so took longer and was a bit painful. The consultant looked up to ask if I was ok and husband jokingly responded to say yeah he felt fine thanks. Apparently she gave him the dirtiest look.

I'm sure there have been more on this weird and wonderful journey so far but they're the ones that spring to mind! Xx

Suzy86
Suzy86
in reply to Lots8788

πŸ˜‚ we are at the same clinic if I remember rightly so I can picture the exact look your poor husband got!! Love it about the tumble dryer too. They must hear some funny stuff!

Lots8788
Lots8788
in reply to Suzy86

Ha, yeah I believe we are. She was not pleased! Yeah I imagine they hear all sorts! x

SharlyWarly

Love this thread, I really could do with a good laugh, Ivf is so bloody shit sometimes.

1 - realising I didn't have enough Synarel and prising open the bottle and transferring contents onto spoon and trying to snort it whilst in the London Zoo loos.

2 - having to inject myself whilst in internet cafe as I hadn't taken on time and was ordered to do it 'right now'. That got some looks.

3 - locum doctor after transfer resting his arms on my open legs still in stirrups and talking about the merits of sightseeing in London

4 - not having enough progesterone and borrowing some other brand from friend. Different strength so had to cut tablet open and try and shove it up there and do shoulder stand before all the liquid disappeared

Oh it goes on and on.......

Frankie31

It's certainly got a lot of downs before the highs.

I remember on time having to pull off the motorway to do my injection before an appointment we had mega early in the morning . I was obsessed at taking them at the exact same time every day. So 7am, I'm sat in the Trafford Centre car park about to jab needle 2 in and there is a tap at the window. Yep, a police officer in an un marked car was watching me make sure everything was perfect... no air bubbles ect and had come over to suggest I dont "shoot up" so openly. I took huge offence and schooled him in the fact people take injections every day for medical reasons and how he shouldn't presume. My husband just said "sorry officer its a hormone injection " the officer said "oh that explains the mouthful I got... carry on" πŸ™ˆ

SharlyWarly

Oh brilliant! :-) what are the chances?!! Still, pretty sexist response from Mr Copper

Frankie31

It was... but he was 100% correct! Normally I wouldn't be so brave as to school a copper! 🀣🀣

Judy18

This is such a fab idea.

When got my first results back from GP she ran through what other tests we would need before we could be referred. This included a semen sample from my DH. So i went home and was filling DH in on the plan and said you will also need to-be tested and then gave him a knowing look. Evidently my knowing look was rubbish as he replied with β€œdon’t worry, I don’t mind blood tests” 😳 I then went on to explain that they were not after blood. When i told my friend she was like β€œwhat doss he think gets you pregnant?”

Frankie31
Frankie31
in reply to Judy18

🀣 I knowing look always turns into a verbal explanation with them !

Judy18
Judy18
in reply to Frankie31

Thank you for making us all smile and remembering that although this journey is hard that there are laughs and smiles along the way. I have also learnt to really appreciate all that i have and who really is there standing in your corner (i got some surprises with that one!) sending hugs to all xxx

Frankie31
Frankie31
in reply to Judy18

I am so glad I posted this. I was so worried that not everyone is like me and likes to laugh at the funny bits of the journey and although this whole process is so so difficult it's always nice to step back and just laugh.... something that I think is so easy to forget to do when you are so focused.

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