Can negative thoughts stop you gettin... - Fertility Network UK

Fertility Network UK

28,935 members40,358 posts

Can negative thoughts stop you getting pregnant?


I'm really struggling at the moment. My negative thoughts since it 5th failure have really taken over and I fight negative thoughts now daily. I've lost my faith (religion)altogether and I fight suicidal thoughts daily. My resilience is at an all time low and I just feel like I know it won't work for me. I am starting another frozen donor egg round in December but I'm now thinking that there is no possible chance I can get pregnant because my thoughts are so bloody negative. I'm on holiday right now. This is our first since we started ivf 3 years ago and I although I'm enjoying myself I cant help feeling that everything is hopeless. I am worried that we are wasting all our money, time and energy and i pray that i die every day (despite the fact that I've given up on god). Did anyone achieve a positive while feeling this low?

16 Replies

Hi there, so sorry your feeling this way. It's a tough journey. Dont give up on your faith darling. Try to stay strong! I too am using donor eggs. Got my results yesterday and it was negative and I just crumbled. It's our first using donor eggs after 3 failed ivf cycles using my own. I will keep going. We must stay strong and pray and ask for strength to keep going. What meds has your clinic given you? What are embryo grading qualities like? There are apparently a few things why donor eggs may not work first time, sometimes it takes a few goes. What advice has your clinic given you? It's hard but try to keep your faith. Everything happens when it's meant to happen. PM me if you need to talk. I hope you are enjoying your holiday! And have family around for extra strength. Xx


Negative thoughts don't exactly help but no they don't stop you getting pregnant in themselves.


So sorry to hear you’re having such a tough time & it must be so hard having treatment not work.

I’m not particularly religious but I can get how this journey can shake your faith it feels very unfair to suffer so much. I hope you can get your faith back.

I haven’t had ivf so I can’t begin to imagine how tough it is I did endure a 7 year struggle to conceive my daughter & there were many times I wanted to give up but couldn’t as I wanted a baby too much. Looking back I suffered terrible depression & anxiety throughout the painful journey.

I wish I had the answers. Most clinics do offer counselling I don’t know if that might help? Sometimes it helps to emotionally uninvolved party. Apologies if you’ve tried that & it didn’t work.

Perhaps some time away from all things fertility related to re charge your batteries. Go & let your hair down do nice things for you. Enjoy spending time with other half sometimes this gets lost in the midst of infertility struggles. You are strong team ( I know at times you don’t feel so strong) together you CAN do this & I’m rooting for your happy ending xxx

Thanks to everyone that's left a message of hope and kindness. It's true that somehow we have to hold the hope and keep going. Fighting my negative thoughts is a constant battle I must fight alongside the ivf. I am feeling grateful to be on holiday at the moment and have enjoyed myself today. I've been encouraged to know others care and have been here. Thank you xxxxxx

Something good is going to happen to you. Keep your hope. Don’t give up!!

Praying for you

It's so easy to forget, but there is so much more to you than being a mum or not. I don't know you, but it's true of everyone. Try to remember what you enjoyed doing before you got hit by ivf-infertility wrecking ball, and spend the little time before your next round doing that, reconnecting with friends, going to a spa. Whether the next round is successful or not, you are super important. Do youtube yoga or xigong every morning, eat healthy "blood boosting" (to quote my acupuncturist) foods. Look after yourself - you are really special to the people close to you. If one of your nearest and dearest was feeling the way you're feeling now, what would you do for them? Then do that for yourself. It's not easy, you've been dealt a crappy hand but you (the real you, not just you as a mum) really are worth it xxx

I don’t personally believe negative thoughts can stop you getting pregnant just as positive ones don’t guarantee you will get pregnant. You’ve had a rough ride for sure, I’m glad you’re taking a holiday, but it sometimes takes a while to unwind and enjoy yourself, hopefully you’ll get there soon. I’m seeing an ivf counsellor and finds it really helps to offload a heap of negative thoughts and stop my repetitive negative thoughts ruminating around my head. Are you managing to talk to anyone close to you or a counsellor? Xx

Sorry for my late reply. I am going to make an appointment with my gp to get counselling and maybe medication because I just continue to have suicidal thoughts

It was heartbreaking to read your message, this ivf journey is so so hard. Especially when you have so many failed attempts. I definitely think counselling will help. But remember the person you are and the couple you are without ivf. I don’t believe feeling negative would have a negative impact. But you need to look after yourself... and love yourself again. I will be thinking of you x

If positive thinking worked we'd all be pregnant when we wanted to be but unfortunately that just isn't the case. Please don't give yourself a hard time for how you are feeling, it's good to acknowledge how you feel and take the next steps that you need. Going to your GP must have been a huge thing for you! I'm so impressed with your strength to keep going despite suicidal feelings and loosing your faith. I know how it feels to be depressed and it's the blackest, most horrible feeling. You will definitely have better days but being kind to yourself in the moment is key. Do whatever you can to make life easier for yourself and give yourself the time and space that you need. I think you are going to be a resilient and wonderful mother someday xx

Just want to send you lots of love. Hopefully the negative thought will start to go away and you´ll start to feel better. This is tough but you truly are a strong lady! xx

I felt the same and then turned to a low dose of anti depressants. They honestly changed my outlook completely. Why be miserable? Doc has said it's absolutely fine to take whilst TTC.

Put yourself first.

Hi Hope! How are you? I hope you are doing well. Girl, i tried for 10 years and never stopped trying. I didn't even take a single break. Good things take time and effort. And there's nothing better in this world than a baby. So do whatever it takes to make it work. Negative thoughts are not good for you. They can have a bad impact on your journey. You have to think positive so you can be positive only then positive things will happen in your life. Mental health is really important in this journey. I hope this helps you. Good luck. Stay blessed. Take care. Bye!

Hi! I hope you are feeling better. There's nothing more beautiful in this world than Children. They are like a blessing. They make your life so beautiful. So basically the reason why people say that negative thoughts are bad because it affects our body. The reason why it affects our body is that we stress over those thoughts. And stress is a huge factor behind infertility. Thinking positive will help you avoid stress and help you stay strong. I hope you understand what I am saying. Stay blessed. Take care. Good luck. Bye!

Hi hon! How are you now? This must be tough for you. 5 failed attempts, I am really sorry for that. The reason why negative thoughts are bad because they can make you stress and that's not good. You need to take some time out for yourself and relax. In this journey, it's important for you to be strong mentally and physically. Only then you will be able to get through this. And also opt for a different clinic this time, maybe something's wrong with your clinic. I will pray for you tho. My blessings are with you. Take good care of yourself. Best of Luck. Goodbye!

You may also like...