Should I take a sabbatical?

[Danascha]

Just finishing off my 3rd round of icsi. Egg did not fertilise therefore no transfer. Gutted about it. I was on yhe Gonal- F 450 this time round and it's made me look more sick than usual according to DH. He thought I could do with the 150hr sleep that's how bad he said I looked lol.

Last night when I came home, he's decided I should leave my job or do a 6 months sabbatical. It sounded like a dream right but I was too tired to be jumping up and down.

DH said if I worry too much about having nothing to do, I can take up light jobs but no commitments to it i.e get one where it's pt and you clock in and clock out.

I want to know your thoughts on this. Do you think leaving my job will be an added positive for the next round? I have read where people worry they'll be left to their own thoughts during the cycle. This won't be an issue for me. I will be walking away from a very toxic work environment.

Does it really up my chances if I can incorporate proper self care and not be exposed to office negativity and stress?

Has anyone heard of anyone doing this?

[Bistbee]

Hi Danascha, I’m so sorry you didn’t get any embryos from this round, that’s so devastating when you’ve gone through the whole process and it comes to such an abrupt end without you guys even having a chance 💔

I’ve got the same concerns about my job - i really hate my role and it’s a stressful environment in quite a toxic team, morale is low etc etc. I’ve hung on in there so far on the hope of getting pregnant and therefore wanting the maternity leave, but we’re now going through round 3 of treatment and i’m just not sure how much longer i can put up with it all, even if this round does turn out to be our lucky one!

I don’t think you can underestimate the stress that being in a toxic and unsupportive work environment can put on you. Whilst stress doesn’t directly affect fertility, i do think it can indirectly impact for example making you anxious so you’re not sleeping well or stopping you from doing other things for yourself (exercise/healthy eating etc). If you have some other options for work then perhaps it is worth exploring those but like you i’m worried that not having a routine or things to keep my occupied during the day will not be good either when in the midst of treatment.

i’m considering moving to part time work, just to give myself that headspace to deal with more rounds of ivf whilst giving me some routine albeit not a demanding one.

For me, i know my priority right now needs to be on having a baby and that i can always come back to my career at a later date.

whatever you decide, it must be your decision and don’t feel forced into anything, good luck! x

[Danascha in reply to Bistbee]

Eeek.. we're in the same boat it seems. Toxic work environment here too. I have stayed on the job as I also thought I'd leave after maternity leave is over but 3 icsi later and still nothing except work drama is pulling me down and I am more drained.

There will be sacrifices that comes with me leaving the job. I have never not worked and it's scary for me to think of not earning but I will give it a go and see what happens..

DH is most determined I do it to recuperate and get my body back in sync and for my mental health.

I hope you can switch to part time.. I think I'll end up doing that too shortly after leaving this job..

Best of luck to us!

[PurpleLove19]

My advice to you is- if you can manage financially and you will be happier then just do it!

I’m currently in a very demanding job, long hours and staff morale is low.

As supportive as they are with practical things such as appointments, they seem to think when I’m at work that I don’t need a lunch break or an early night.

I am currently applying for jobs. I applied for one last week but prior handing in the application I openly explained my situation with ivf as it was worrying me and I can’t help but think they may not even shortlist me despite them telling me to go ahead and apply.

For the next jobs I’ve decided to not expose anything.

I have looked into lower paid roles and was so tempted to, my husband said we would manage but unfortunately the only thing we have at the moment is our little trips away and if I was to do that we would get no enjoyments from a lower paid job so I didn’t go ahead.

If we were financially stable then I’d have just gone part time but it’s not the case for us at the moment. So you do what’s best for you hun.

I’d love nothing more than to be able be signed off sick until after treatment but my attendance is on watch due to me having some time off last year x

[Danascha in reply to PurpleLove19]

Thank you for your honest input. It seems like we're in a similar situation. I go on appts and while the dept mgr says it's fine, there seems to be an unspoken rule that I am to work through my lunch hour and stay late. It's these little nuances that shoots my bp through the roof. I am too old(well mid 30s) to be treated like a child and have told the useless mgr many a times.

The last straw for me was when I came in at 10am from the hospital already feeling unwell and was then put into a project with an urgent deadline. It was not necessary and senseless.

I am leaning towards leaving the company altogether so stay tuned 😉

Again, thank you for taking the time to respond.