How old is too old?: Hi you lovely lot... - Fertility Network UK

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How old is too old?

Jamsta77 profile image
26 Replies

Hi you lovely lot I would to love to hear your opinions on what age you should call it a day? I am in the process of saving for another round of ICSI after our BFN in April this year, we are probably looking at having funds together by next year I will be 43 and my OH will be 56 but having doubts already about what others will think because of our age.

I just don’t feel that I am ready to give up on my hopes and dreams and feel I want one more go it’s so frustrating and I just wish I had the finances to do it again this year 😩

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Jamsta77 profile image
Jamsta77
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26 Replies
Jaygee profile image
Jaygee

Hi ya

I don’t think it matters what others think! It’s what you want to do! My mother had me at 41 and everyone judged her for that but times have changed now. It’s all personal choice and if you feel you’re not ready to give up then go for it. It’s each to their own. My husband and I are only on round 1 and are 31 each but I know in my heart I won’t do more than 3 rounds. Others don’t have an end point. Just follow your heart but also try and be realistic on expectations. X

Hi Jamsta77, I've just turned 42 and about to embark on our 3rd round after 5 failed transfers and not ready to give up yet, I think there are more older ladies these days and people are living longer, I think as long as we keep ourselves (oh) healthy. Good luck

Jamsta77 profile image
Jamsta77 in reply to

Wishing you best wishes and lots of luck 🤞🏻❤️

Kiers27 profile image
Kiers27 in reply to

Amazing courage ... have followed you .. hope that’s ok.

I’m 43 and just started my ivf journey xx

in reply to Kiers27

Hi Kiers27, of course that's ok :-) feel free to message me anytime.

What stage are you at? Xx

Kiers27 profile image
Kiers27 in reply to

Thanks Claire... I’m doing my trigger tonight for EC Monday.

1st round ... but been TTC for over 2 years with one MC. So although only 1st round, feels like a journey already ...

I’m happy I have more follicles working up to the size needed for an egg than I thought ... fingers crossed for quality in this next stage 🤞🏻

Xx

Jamsta77 profile image
Jamsta77

I think I’m more concerned about my OH bless him he’ll be drawing his pension while doing the school run,

Countrymouse56 profile image
Countrymouse56 in reply to Jamsta77

I am 20 weeks pregnant from our first round of ivf. My wonderful OH is 62! I am 34. I know a few older fathers who have really loved having little ones later in life so please don’t worry about that! Best of luck to you 🤞🏻xx

Noah1981 profile image
Noah1981

Hey lovely .Im 37/38 this month my other half is 55 I’m on a tww of my second iui.Hes pretty fit and looks good for his age and the thought like that has crossed my mind then I look at him and realise how passionate he is for us to have a baby and the whole older dad everyone thinking he’s a grandad shit just disappears as long as your both happy you love each other and your baby will be too then don’t worry about the age thing it’s not important In my eyes look at that woman in India last week had a child at 74 and her husband was even older 😂😂😂 there is Hope for us all a man can father a child at any age unfortunately for us women it’s our essential bits like egg reserve etc diminish but there’s ways around everything and I for one wish you every success on your future cycle as long as a child is loved thats all that matters xxx

Jamsta77 profile image
Jamsta77 in reply to Noah1981

Thank you so much you have made me feel a lot better knowing your OH is same age as mine and we are not alone and thank you for your kind wishes I’m keeping everything crossed that you get your dream results 🤞🏻❤️

Noah1981 profile image
Noah1981 in reply to Jamsta77

Bless your heart always here for a chat we will get there xxx

Jamsta77 profile image
Jamsta77 in reply to Noah1981

I really hope so ❤️

Livinginhope2019 profile image
Livinginhope2019

Hi Jamsta77, I’m 44 and my husband is 69. We are on our second round of IVF after a miscarriage in July and no frozen embryos. Age is just a number and it doesn’t matter what others think only what you and your husband think. After reading lots of posts on forums I have discovered that there are more of us older ladies out there than people think and it it quite common nowadays. Go with your heart. Good luck with your journey xx

Jamsta77 profile image
Jamsta77 in reply to Livinginhope2019

Wow you are amazing and your right age is just a number I’m wishing you both the best of luck and keeping 🤞🏻🤞🏻for you ❤️

Livinginhope2019 profile image
Livinginhope2019 in reply to Jamsta77

Thank you. 💕

LunaLovegood11 profile image
LunaLovegood11

Hey, I echo what the others say - the real question for any potential parents at any age should be can you provide a good life and emotional support for a child? Doesn’t matter how young or old, and I’m sure you’d be able to answer yes xx

Noobs profile image
Noobs in reply to LunaLovegood11

I love this reply and whole heartedly agree!x

wildchild1989 profile image
wildchild1989

age doesn't matter its just a number .... Look at the 76 year old who gave birth to twins yer she may have haters but never be put off..... if you want kids I say go for it dont be put off by age good luck xx

Jamsta77 profile image
Jamsta77

Thank you all I feel a little relieved this is why this group is so amazing each and everyone of us can pick each other up when we are having a crappy rubbish day and that horrible doubt hits us now and again

Sending love to you all 💕❤️xx

Kiers27 profile image
Kiers27

Morning Jamsta, couldn’t agree more with the lovely replies above.

I’m 43 and only on day 6 of injections on 1st IVF journey after MC last year and trying to conceive for 2 further years.

It really is only a number ... I wish you lots of luck xx

Jamsta77 profile image
Jamsta77 in reply to Kiers27

Thank you and wishing you luck on your journey too🤞🏻❤️xx

56artist_ profile image
56artist_

I had my last one at 41 and had been 17 years since giving birth to 1st two babies go 4 it my daughter was 20 me 41 pregnant same time lol

onemoreshot profile image
onemoreshot

I am 43 and currently 26 weeks pregnant I will be 44 in 2 weeks. I had my daughter at 41. Don’t give up hope! Although I did give up and got pregnant the next month and it stuck (had 2 early miscarriages previously). But in my heart I knew our family wasn’t complete yet. It can happen!

I have done 3 rounds at 41 and 42.. I did get a BFP but sadly had a MC. I am 43 in March and we are contemplating our 4th round.

I feel young enough to continue but unfortunately my clinic have said they are unlikely to treat anyone 43 or over so you may find finding a clinic an issue. They are all different though. Good luck x

Kempton profile image
Kempton

My husband's aunt had her first at 39 and second at 43. She and her partner live a healthy lifestyle, are educated and have given the kids a great life. It's possible they might not get to see grandchildren, but they are excellent parents, and since people live longer these days, you just never know.

It's your life. People can judge but there are plenty of people in their prime baby making years doing a crap job of it, so age is just one factor really. If it's important to you, you can only try and see what happens, rather than risk leaving this earth unfulfilled with life.

SharlyWarly profile image
SharlyWarly

I'm 42 and my partner is 59 this year. We a two year old daughter and am trying for a sibling. I am okay with this but I do know that there will be times that my daughter will be very embarrassed by our age as she gets older and we will have to deal with that as it comes. It is there and I'm not being negative, just realistic as I'm sure it will come up. We won't be trying to be 'down with the kids' (wouldn't know how to anyway!!!) and also, thanks to IVF, there are more older parents out there.

Your age shouldn't stop you but personally I think I have a duty to remain fit and healthy for my daughter so that I am able to parent her with the energy she deserves!

If it feels right to become a parent, then just go for it.

Good luck x

p.s. my friends have two small children under 3 via IVF and they are 50 and 54, they find it very tiring but I think that is down to mindset. Is 76 too old? sorry, my answer is yes.

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