Coping strategies : Hello ladies, What... - Fertility Network UK

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Coping strategies

Kathryn1984 profile image
10 Replies

Hello ladies,

What do you do on your weakest moments? When you have to carry on at work, and at home? I really really struggle some days to stop the tears. Sometimes, it isn’t appropriate to let the tears flow. What do you do in them moments? I can’t be the only one?

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Kathryn1984 profile image
Kathryn1984
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10 Replies
Lots8788 profile image
Lots8788

Hi Kathryn. You're definitely not alone! On days like that I try and be kinder to myself and take it easier than normal e.g. work normal hours when poss, ensure I eat properly and healthily (but also a bit of chocolate often helps!),maybe go for a walk,do some yoga,stay off the internet /Google/social media,have an early night, watch some crappy tv, read,cuddle with hubby. basically I tend to feel better if I'm alone pottering about for a bit to recharge. If I'm having a bad day on a work day, I maybe try and work from home if possible which helps or not overegg what I want to tick off the "to do" list that day and be a bit more realistic. Also my boss knows what's going on so if I feel I'm struggling with work load I'll talk to her and luckily she's very supportive. and then get it all out when back at home and have a good old cry. xx you're so brave and strong x you can do this

Dream76 profile image
Dream76

I find it okay to cry as I feel light afterwards. But if it is still not going out of my head then I write down my feelings on a piece of paper. And go to sleep early.

crisps88 profile image
crisps88

Oh love I am so sorry for you. I know that feeling it is so horrible, feel so alone and like no one can help or understand you. I just let myself go, I do what I actually enjoy. I eat sh£t food, I have a gin, I go out and enjoy myself try and have fun whatever that is. There’s too much pressure for us to be perfect and always be good. Just be kind to yourself xxx

Deelit3ful profile image
Deelit3ful

I hear you were loaded with hormones. I sometimes find myself crying while driving on the way to work. I try listening to my favorite music. I sing along I cry it out. If you have to cry at work go in the bathroom let it out. What were feeling is valid with or without the hormones!

Deelit3ful profile image
Deelit3ful

Do things that makes you happy. I garden, paint and I find writing in my journal helps.

Kathryn1984 profile image
Kathryn1984

Thank you everyone. I just find it really hard to bottle it up until home time! Unfortunately I don’t have a job that I can work from home. And it would be noted if I disappeared for more than 30 min. And unfortunately, I have a face that goes bright red when I cry, and apparently, it’s very easy for others to tell when somethings bothering me. How do some of you put a happy face on?

Hope4usall profile image
Hope4usall

I sometimes take myself off to my car to be on my own and recharge for a few minutes, before heading back to work. I just think I've only got X amount of hours left so just get through this and have a cry when I get home. So sorry you're feeling like this, but we've all been there and you're not alone. You can do this xxx

Bistbee profile image
Bistbee

It’s so hard Kathryn, and i’m not sure there is an easy answer to how you put on a normal face at work when all you want to do is curl up in a corner and sob. It’s exhausting having to pretend all the time that your fine whilst saying it through gritted teeth when people ask and spending all day with that knot feeling in your stomach that only gets released by having a serious crying sesh, you know the really ugly crying type 😂

It sucks that working from home isn’t an option for you but what about finding some mini guided meditations or using the headspace app where you could grab 5/10 minutes during the day to find a quiet spot and just focus on yourself and your breathing? Or carving time out for yourself at lunch to take a walk or find a peaceful spot outside to have a break? I find having to be a work when feeling broken inside one of the (many) hard aspects of this whole process and I don’t really know what the answer is. Just wanted to say your not alone in feeling like this x

Kiedy84 profile image
Kiedy84

Oh hun, yes we have all been there. One thing that helped me A LOT was Mindful IVF app.

I would do a short meditation before going to work and then again in the evening bin bed before falling asleep. Deep long breathing is really the best technique you can master to check in with yourself and your body and mind.

Sometimes I would lock myself in a toilet to do a short 3-5 minutes breathing exercises.

Breath by breath, hour by hour, day by day that's what helped me. Literally focusing on what's here and right now. The moment I started to think about egg collection, transfers and what if it doesn't work and what if it works I would start spirling down into a black hole of anxiety.

Sending lots of hugs xxxx

LunaLovegood11 profile image
LunaLovegood11

Hey, I’ve been doing some reading about gratitude and how it helps.

Sounds a bit silly but I wrote down in a journal the things I’m grateful for - 3 a day.

Even if it’s the relationship with my partner, enjoying a nice meal, having a giggle at a silly film etc... It helps me to find some good things in the day and look back on them when I’m feeling down.

Best of luck to you, it’s very tough, shows what true warriors we all are! Xxx

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