Feeling terrified: Hi ladies, I am... - Fertility Network UK

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Feeling terrified

30 Replies

Hi ladies, I am 5weeks and 3 days today and I have been trying to enjoy the moment but I'm getting more and more anxious each day. My 7 week scan is booked for the 27th but after going through a MMC last year I keep thinking that the same is going to happen again, trying really hard to push the thoughts out of my head as I shouldn't be stressing but it's so hard.

How have other ladies coped/coping? Xx

30 Replies

I don't have any advice but just wanted to wish you all the best with your pregnancy. I had a little boy in December after 2 mmc & stressed right the way through my pregnancy so know how hard it is. He is gonna be my only child & I feel sad I didn't enjoy the pregnancy due to the fear something would go wrong ,so really hope you find a way to cope & have a magical pregnancy. Lots of love! xx

in reply to

Hi Gracieboos,congrats on the birth of your little boy,how are you enjoying being a mom? I'm really sorry you had to go through 2 mmc's,it really is hard.

Thankyou for your message I have raken on board what you have said and I think I need to enjoy every moment,worrying won't change things!! Xxx

I feel exactly the same. I was quite calm last week but after having a bleed on Thursday/Friday my anxiety levels have rocketed! Every little twinge sends me into a panic. I’m trying to stay busy..while resting as much as I can. I’m constantly double checking my symptoms and I’m scared to go to work because it’s so busy and that’s where my bleed started. My scan is not for almost 2 weeks and I’m not sure even that will make me feel better because we got past that stage last year with our mmc.

I’m not sure how to manage the anxiety but I think acupuncture helps, I’m booked in for tomorrow and I’m hoping it gives me a few more days of calm! Good luck and I’m hoping the wait passes quickly for you xx

in reply to

Hi Aprilmama, it must be so stressful for you having to cope with having a bleed, this journey doesn't get any easier does it! Are you able to take time off work? My jobs really manic at the moment but have my one to one with my boss today so hoping I won't be given too much!

I think I might give acupuncture a go or possibly reflexology.

I hope you manage to get plenty of rest and let me know how you get on xx

in reply to

I’ve had almost a week off since my bleed on Thursday- Just one sick day and then my usual days off. I would need a sick note for further time off and I’m not sure I would get one, my gp can be a little strict! I’m going to discuss my concerns with my manager today...she knows everything and was there last week when I had a meltdown and left in a panic. I have an active job and I am always the nurse in charge which means a lot of responsibility if I’m not fully present but on the other hand it would take my mind off things and pass the time..what to do?

Good luck in your one to one and for your scan xx

in reply to

That is tough,being on your feet all day, is your Manager understanding?

I work in Business Development,so although not active I have to attend a lot of meetings and there are a lot of deadlines which can be stressful,one to one went really well and my boss is great,he's very supportive xx

LKT1 profile image
LKT1

No BFP for me yet but I’ve dealt with anxiety. I think it’s very normal to be anxious but dont let it consume you. whenever a negative thought or worry pops on your head try saying to yourself ‘this is an an unhelpful thought and I’m not thinking about it anymore’. Or better yet...imagine your friend is having these thoughts and what would you say to your friend about it? Then do some pregnancy yoga or meditation breathing on YouTube or pick up your favourite book. Do whatever makes you feel calm and relaxed so you can give yourself a break. Maybe talk to your gp or clinic councillor if it’s becoming too intrusive. Best of luck and take it easy Xx

in reply toLKT1

Thank you so much for the advice and I have used your tip already,trying to push out thoughts, I haven't been to Yoga for a few months now but your right its something I need to get back into. Through work I have access to a telephone counsellor so I think I will give them a call xx

sarahharas profile image
sarahharas

I totally understand you. I am 6+6 today and my scan is on Friday. I have my ups and downs and on some days I am super positive and on some I am really bad (like yesterday). I try to think that the statistics are on our side. When you reached this point the likelyhood of having a healthy baby is much higher than having a miscarriage. And the chances to miscarry are dropping every day! Although It does not sound like it, the time will fly when you just really force yourself to be happy and keep yourself busy. And good luck :-) xx

in reply tosarahharas

Thankyou Sarah, you are right the statistics of having a healthy baby are higher than miscarriage and the stats of having more than 1 miscarriage are even lower, I need to push out the thoughts of what has happened in the past.

Wishing you the very best of luck for your scan, I bet the days are really starting to drag for you. I look forward to hearing your update xx

sarahharas profile image
sarahharas in reply to

Thank you :-)

In comparison to 3 weeks ago we are already in an absolutely better position because getting pregnant for us is much more difficult than staying pregnant.

One comment to a comment from above, you are not supposed at all to do yoga in your first 12 weeks of pregnancy, it can be really dangerous, especially when you are not doing it regularly. I am doing yoga almost every day at home and in a studio once a week and when I told them That I am pregnant I was sent home.Dhe said that no instructor in the whole country would be allowed to teach me before I am 12 weeks. I was not aware of that, but I really stopped, because I dont want to risk anything.

xx

in reply tosarahharas

Really glad that you are feeling more positive and you are right it is an achievement getting pregnant. Thankyou for that advice,I will give it a miss then for a while, ive still been going to the gym but just walk on treadmill and go on cross trainer, have given up doing any weights or more cardio until its safe xx

SunnyDream profile image
SunnyDream

Hello, dear. I have noticed that a lot of women have the same problem as you do. For me, the biggest problem is to cope with my own head and distractive thoughts. I always try not to think about anything bad but, you know, fear plays with us bad jokes and makes us feel anxious. It may harm our health and influence our body. You need to distract somehow, to meet with friends, watch some favorite comedies and spend time with your hubby. It can really help, so make a try. Good luck!

in reply toSunnyDream

Thankyou Sunnydream, to be honest just reading through my posts has made me feel more positive and I will definitely plan some nice distractions for the coming weeks xx

You are doing so well I don’t know how you have got that far! Have you tried mindfulness? It really helped me during my last attempt and am trying it again this round. Masses of luck xx

in reply to

I have done mindfulness in the past and it did really work, I have just fallen out of the habit of doing it but agree I need to pick it back up. I am starting to feel more positive after reading my posts.

How are you doing? Xx

in reply to

I have just started doing it again (mindfulness) I had my ET yesterday but only made it to day 3 which is fine in real life but because I got my BFP from a day 5 I was convinced I needed that again so feel like it’s failed already! So am super negative too and trying to shake it but failing miserably! 🤦🏼‍♀️ keep going - I am really pleased you are feeling more upbeat. This place is like therapy so keep sharing we are here to help! xx

in reply to

Thankyou and try to think positively...she says!! I know that clinics will only transfer embryos that they think have a chance of implanting.

Really hope the 2ww doesn't drag too much and I will have everything crossed for you xx

SunnyDream profile image
SunnyDream in reply to

Hello Daisy. My congratulations with your ET. How do you feel today? I think you shouldn't worry about day 3 beforehand as I know many cases with positive results. Faith make wonders and negative thought may play bad joles with you so try to keep it in mind and have only positive thoughts.

2-shades-of-hope profile image
2-shades-of-hope

I think it’s really normal to feel like that so don’t feel bad that you do. After two miscarriages I am feeling super anxious. I’ve been the wrong side of the statistics twice so that doesn’t give me any comfort. I’ve seen the heartbeats but my first baby died after this point so that’s not providing much comfort either. In terms of what is helping I listen to a relaxation app every day (not pregnancy specific) and I am also distracting myself with Netflix! And I’m trying not to obsess over symptoms but that’s not going so well right now 🤫 Hoping your scan brings reassuring news xx

in reply to2-shades-of-hope

So sorry that you have had to go through 2 miscarriages,it really is heart breaking, I have got the calm app and listen to Stephen Fry bedtime stories! I have been binging on SUITS but near the end now so any recommendations would be great xx

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5

Oh Jeezo Claire its really not easy. We long to get that elusive BFP and it just brings a whole new world of pain! Im not sure I dealt with mine that well to be honest but when I was freaking out I just had to keep telling myself that it was out of my hands and there was b*gger all I could do about it....over and over! Spoke to my OH a lot too which did help to get it out too!! Ive got everything crossed for you lovely!!xxx

in reply toCinderella5

Thank you my lovely, think my oh is anxious to as he keeps saying we need to take each day as it comes, I have some positive days but think I'm trying to safeguard myself!

Have you spoken to your clinic about when you can go back? Xxx

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5 in reply to

Yeah my OH was the same.....I think we all get nervous when we dont know what we are dealing with especially when we've had a nasty shock previously! It is true though, one day at a time honey!

Im waiting to hear back, they are actually closed for a month in August for holidays so we cant start straight away just now anyway. Gonna just have to sit tight, will give me a chance to monitor ovulation and guestimate when my AF may appear next and let it settle down. If I get my way it will be Sept but may have to wait until Oct.

Thinking of you!xxx

in reply toCinderella5

Thankyou lovely xx

Hopefully it's giving you chance to concentrate on you for a little while to before starting again but its natural to want to start trying straight away, hopefully you won't have to wait too long hun xxx

Hi Claire,

It's quite normal what you're feeling. I feel exactly the same (I'm 9w pregnant after 3 ectopic and 1 miscarriage). I have been spotting ON and OFF since week 4, so my anxiety levels have been very high! I'm more relaxed since our scan at 8w. We saw the heartbeats :) :) :) :) .

I was on sick leave for a couple of weeks, but I returned to work yesterday. I think it will help my mind to stay busy, but at the same time I'm scared because my work is not easy (ICU nurse).

I check my symptoms all the time! I suffer a lot with nausea and vomiting but I try to think it's a sign that everything is OK!

My next scan is on the 30th July!

Good luck and I’m hoping the wait passes quickly for both of us! xx

in reply to

Congratulations, what a relief to see the heartbeat,that must have been a magical moment. Sorry that you had to go through losing your babies, its heartbreaking how many women have been through it.

Funnily enough my mom said I hope you get morning sickness because that's a great sign,although I really hate being sick and revert to being a child again haha.

Good luck for your scan and I look forward to seeing your update xx

Thank you! Yes, it was a magical moment and an important milestone for us. It was the first time we reached 8w and that evrything was OK :) :)

Wise words from your mother ;) . I also hate being sick, but this time it's for the greater good!

Kari55 profile image
Kari55

Hi Claire, it’s great that you are trying to enjoy every moment despite all the anxiety. Try to hold on to as many moments of hope and excitement that you can and that will really help.

I don’t know how I coped. I guess the time was just passing by whether I wanted or not and before I knew the day of the scan was there. I used to meditate daily and I couldn’t even do that so if you into it and feeling like you can do it, it should help. I also had a counselling session over the phone which was helpful. The truth is that it’s a waiting game. It gets a bit better with each scan and after transitioning from fertility clinic onto the antenatal clinic. I wish you all the best and 🤞🏻all goes well. Always here if you would like to message. 🌸💕

Hi Kari55,apologies for the delay had a busy few days at work which has helped with the distraction and Sat I slept for the majority of the day, ive been waking up really early and feel constantly shattered but hoping that's a good sign. I've got my scan this Sat so not too long to wait now, I keep reminding myself that the stats for a MMC are very low and even lower for it to happen a second time,so holding onto that.

How are you getting on with your pregnancy? Xx

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