IVF book/reading recommendations

[LizzieBW]

Hi everyone,

First time poster on F.N 😊

My Husband and I are due to be referred for IVF asap and I know this could be a long wait. It has already been a fairly long journey but I won't bore anyone with the details 😁

I always like to feel in control, in some small way when stressful things are ongoing. For example, I started writing in a notebook to document my journey and all infertility appointments and ticked them off as we've progressed through each step. My question is, is anyone able to recommend some good pieces of reading/books for IVF journey? I would love to do everything within my power to keep as positive a mindset as I can on the run up and also to be as psychologically prepared and resilient as I can. I think reading, research and learning will be a massive armour for me.

Any recommendations or advice would be hugely appreciated. Thank you x 🧡

[Solly-44]

Hello & welcome!

The only one I’ve read was Zita West’s ‘guide to fertility and assisted conception’ which I found quite good.

I know what you mean about wanting for feel in control, I think it’s easy to lose that and I wish I’d made sure I was a bit better informed at the beginning.

Good luck! Xx

[LizzieBW in reply to Solly-44]

Hi,

Thanks so much for your warm welcome and suggestion. I had a quick peek online and it looks like Zita West, who you recommended has quite a few fertility-based books on offer - amazing! I will definitely look at the book you mentioned, thank you.

I saw your post this morning, so sorry you're going through this and even more so, thank you for supporting other people while you're going through that.

🧡

[Franco81]

I would definitely recommend the book ‘Get a Life’ a His and Hers guide to fertility. I wished I’d read it before starting ivf as it talks you through each stage written from both the male and female perspective. It’s funny in some places and very easy to read too.

Good luck xx

[LizzieBW in reply to Franco81]

Hi,

Thank you for your suggestion - that sounds brilliant! I love the idea of hearing the journey from both male and female perspectives. It's on my list!

🧡

[MofM]

Hello, I fully understand what you mean, and I have also read a lot to feel more in control.

The best one to understand IVF, IMHO, is "The Complete Guide to IVF" by Kate Brian. While this book includes some brief personal stories, including that of the author, it is mostly a detailed explanation of the IVF process, which I found extremely helpful. It includes a chapter on complementary therapies, which are treated with the right dose of scepticism, and a chapter on the emotional impact of IVF and infertility, which is often neglected.

"The Essential Fertility Guide " by Robert Winston is a basic book on IVF, which is also extremely rigorous and well researched. However, while many scientific studies are described, none of them is properly cited, making fact-checking, in-depth investigation, and follow-up virtually impossible. I appreciated the chapter on the add-ons, missing from any other books I read, and that on the essential investigation to be carried on before starting IVF, usually ignored in the medical practice.

Both are definitely more useful than the much advertised Zita West's Guide to Fertility and Assisted Conception, which I personally did not like at all, but many find helpful. A matter of tastes, I guess.

Another nice one is "Get A Life: His & Hers Survival Guide to IVF", by Rosie Bray and Richard Mackney. A very personal account of the authors' IVF journey with wisdom useful for other couples as well. "Her" sections are more detailed and emotional, "his" sections are mostly focused on the (male) author's inability to masturbate on demand but his style is brilliant and he managed to be somehow sweet and funny, despite the subject.

For information on Supplements, you can have a look at "It Starts with the Egg", by Rebecca Fett, but my suggestion is not to get too crazy about what she says.

I also found "Unsung Lullabies: Understanding and Coping with Infertility" a helpful reading to cope with the emotional part of the process (and the fact that I might be childless). It made me cry more than once, just to prepare you on the content. It really forces you to face all the issues of being infertile, and it is not an easy read.

On my bookshelf, there is also "Everything Conceivable: How Assisted Reproduction Is Changing Men, Women And The World" which is more on the ethical side of IVF and ART and I found extremely interesting from a sociological/anthropological point of view, and "Frozen Hope", definitly not worth reading (it just speaks of the author's career which develops along IVF).

Hope this helps!

[LizzieBW in reply to MofM]

Hi,

Huge thank you for taking time out to reply. I'm so glad I asked the question this morning as I feel recommendations from people who are actually experiencing the same issues is a much better indicator of a "good read".

I have noted down all the books you mentioned & another woman had also suggested 'Get A Life' so I'm particularly keen to get a hold of that one.

I felt a little emotional just reading the section where you mentioned Unsung Lullabies so I'm probably not as "ready" to face the downfalls as I initially thought. Thank you for suggesting this one though, it's extremely important to me to balance positivity with reality and could be something I work towards reading.

I wish you well, wherever you are in your current ttc journey 🧡

[MofM in reply to LizzieBW]

"Get a Life" is personal and bittersweet, a nice start. The first two I mentioned, instead, are more "technical".

"Unsung lullaby" is on infertility at large, and not much on IVF. The authors are phycologists who are specialised in infertility counselling, and, mostly, experienced infertility themselves.

Good luck 🧡

[Hidden]

Another vote for 'Get a Life' My husband and I found it really useful for both the male and female perspectives to be included at every stage.

Also, it's not a book, but the Big Fat Negative podcast is amazing. Start from the beginning to hear the girls' stories. It has been incredibly informative for me as they host lots of guest experts, but it's also a great source of emotional support and plenty of laughs.

Good luck with your treatment, when it comes x

[LizzieBW in reply to Hidden]

Hi there,

Thank you for your suggestions! 'Get A Life' seems a popular option so I am definitely ordering it next pay day 😁 I hadn't even thought of podcasts as an option so thank you so much for the recommendation! Hopefully I can fill my list enough that I'll be well informed by the time our first appointment rolls round 🙂

Thanks again 🧡

[Solly-44 in reply to Hidden]

I second the BFN podcast! A lady on here recommended it recently and I binged it, it’s so good x