My fiancée is a smoker and has tried to give up more times than I can remember. Obviously this is not ideal going through IVF to say the least. During our last round he had really cut down/ stopped but then took it up again straight after. This time I will be starting meds on Friday and he says he will give up on Sunday after a stag do. I’m literally at my wits end with it all. He can barely last 2 days without a cigarette at the moment and I’m so so worried what effect this is having on our chances of successful IVF. It’s not as if it’s not stressful enough!!
Any experience/ advice much appreciated. Thanks you x
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hifer
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I can empathise, having given up smoking myself to go through treatment! It's so so hard to quit but you're right, it will make such a difference to your success rate. Has your OH tried using nicotine replacement or a vape to give up? x
Yes he’s tried using gum and patches and I bought him a vape but he doesn’t get on with it. I don’t know what else to do! We’ve nearly split up over it in the past. I know it’s meant to be bad for IVF but I don’t know how bad if you know what I mean.
For sperm quality it is incredibly important that he gives up! I really feel for you, it must be so hard because it's not really something you have control over but it will effect you so much. He really should give up at least 3 months before a sperm collection. Maybe present him with the facts about how much it will effect your chances, in the hope that that's the push he needs to give up x
Thank you. He knows all this though! We’ve had this conversation so many times! The problem is that he has unusually excellent sperm! All consultants and experts etc have commented on his speed sample being v good. It’s like now there is less of an incentive if you know what I mean? So frustrating. Thank you so much for your input. Xx
A good rant is just what's needed sometimes. I'm doing well thank you, very nauseous and exhausted but just thrilled and feeling blessed to be pregnant ❤️
Hi my partner smoked when we conceived 3 times naturally all ended in mc, he quit in November 18 when I was pregnant this was his second attempt using champix, 7 mths now no smoking I’m really happy he quit. We’ve not conceived since tho 🙁
Well at first it didn’t really bother me too much but when we started to ttc obviously it’s not the best so I probably annoyed him into quitting, tbh I hardly see him smoke he’d smoke at work or on way home maybe one outside at home. He trying quitting Oct 17 when I first conceived did til about jan/Feb after we mc he started again was stressed then stopped again nov18.
Oh he tried vaping aswel before stopping the first time wasn’t for him.
He found it easier with the tablets there’s local number online it’s with boots you make an app they talk about why and how much u smoke then prescribe champix have to go back weekly or fortnightly for the prescription it’s worth the effort. When he started smoking again I was furious as he was trying to hide it from me but I have a nose like a hound dog lol
Me too! I can smell it a mile off!! It’s so hard being on the receiving end isn’t it. Will let him know about champix thanks- didn’t actually know the name of it but I’m pretty sure he’s aware of it as he’s mentioned it before. Thank you x
I can totally relate to your post. My husband has smoked for many years and for us to receive NHS funding he needed to be smoke free for 12 months 😳 This nearly broke us....
He had low sperm count and mobility and really struggled to quit. 2 yrs later he still wasn't at the right weight (he is 6ft 2 and does a manual job so BMI was never coming down) or smoke free and we made the decision to self fund (luckily we were able to get support from our family). If we hadn't been fortunate enough to self fund god knows where we would be now....
I will never be able to understand smoking and how addictive it is. My husband is desperate for a baby and even though smoking was damaging the quality of his swimmers...that wasn't enough for him to fully give up 🤷🏼♀️ he's still smoking one or two a day.
Reducing the amount he smoked did have a positive impact on his swimmers though.
I don't know whether this helps or not but just wanted to let you know you're not alone 😘 I found it really hard to deal with so always here if you need a chat or bit of a rant 😂 x x
Thank you so much for sharing your story. It really does help to know I’m not alone. Also really pleased that he at least got down to one or two a day. That’s great news for you both. We are self funding too and I only have one more round left with my eggs. I just think it’s so awful my fiancée has not given up by now as if we go to DE, he will still be in the position to use his sperm. Anyway thanks so much for sharing xx
Ah this brings back memories!! Like you say,it's so frustrating and just felt like it added additional pressure to an already very stressful situation. Hubby finally gave up (after many arguments about it). We're having NHS ivf and he had to be smoke free (including vape) for 6 months + and ive been told they sometimes test (through a breathing apparatus thing I think) to check. I think that's what helped him to quit as we were already finding it so difficult to wait (although appreciate we are so lucky to be having ivf on nhs) so if they'd checked, queried whether he had actually quit and then told us to come back in 6 months so he could quit, I seriously don't know how I would have coped! It used to just really wind me up too given all the effort i was trying to make (e.g BPA free water bottles, eating healthy,regular exercise, meditation and yoga,pre-natal vits,no caffeine etc). His swimmers weren't the best either but since he's eating a lot more healthily,taking vitamins for fertility and quit smoking,overall they've improved. He may have the very odd one now and again but I try to just let it go given how much he has quit. if he started up again I would be mad! So i think what im trying to say (not very concisely lol) is that you're not alone and i know how you feel and how frustrating it is! Hope he quits soon for you both xxx
Thanks so much, that’s exactly it! I exercise, eat well, do meditation, spent loads of money on acupuncture, take vitamins, sleep well, given up alcohol loads of times for prolonged periods, and now given up my job and have been through one round of IVF meds! I’m raging that he can’t just give up smoking! Thanks a lot for your support xx
Yep! Same here with lots of money spent on reflexology and acupuncutr (which I'm now just trying to look at as good for my general health rather than getting too hung up on it helping to achieve a BFP! though tbf he's also recently started acupuncute. I think he's seen how chilled it makes me and wants some of that for himself lol) and I'm like a cat - constantly trying to get in more sleep and take it easy lol. Ah hun it's so frustrating isn't it! Have you found giving up work has helped? So have you had a first ivf cycle? No worries. Always here if you want to private message and have a chat / rant xx
Giving up work has made a tremendous difference. We had a round whilst I was still at work and now I’ll be starting my second at the end of his week. Xx
My OH reckoned he was a social smoker, but that still meant quite a lot of cigarettes over the weekends when he was having some beers. Tried to get our IVF Dr on my side with convincing him to give up, but Dr said if it's not too many and if it would stress him out more to stop then on the balance of things it might not be that beneficial to quit. Even when I very happily got pregnant after out FET in Nov and the smell really bothered me, he wouldn't give up.
However, we sadly lost his mum back in February, he smoked like a chimney the day of the funeral and hasn't touched one since. I think losing his mum with his own child on the way brought home to him that he wants to be there as long as possible for our kid(s) and he just stopped cold turkey.
The motivation has to come from him - you'll only put pressure on your relationship trying to pressure him into it. He knows the problems associated with it, there's nothing you can say that he doesn't already know. At the end of the day, it's down to him. I wish you all the best of luck with the IVF and with him giving up. Hopefully it won't take something as drastic as we went through to motivate him to quit xxx
Thank you so much for your response and sharing your story. You’re so right about the pressure etc but sometimes I can’t help it as it winds me up so much!! So sorry to hear your husband lost his Mum and how bitter sweet that that made him give up smoking. Wishing you all the best xx
They use a breathe test at the quit smoking clinic his result was really low after 2w so doesn’t stay in your system. They made me do a test at my 2nd midwife booking in as he was smoking at the time I was most annoyed lol mine was fine. I used to smoke from 13-20yrs 😬 I just quit never had another tab didn’t find it hard same with alcohol don’t find it hard to not drink either food on the other hand 🐷 my downfall.
How frustrating!! As the other ladies said, it’s really important he gives up for sperm quality. I’ve read that he has really good sperm, were these the results of a Semen analysis or a DNA frag test?? A Semen analysis can be good but the DNA frag test awful. The frag test will determine whether your eggs will fertilise with his sperm.
Wishing you loads of good luck on your upcoming cycle 🤞🏻🤞🏻Xxxx
Hi again hifer same situation, I don't have much time left on my eggs, we started doing IVF because his sperm count was low and then, regardless of what happens, he will still get to have a shot at having his own child if we move to Donor eggs. So unfair. On an unrelated note, I think I met your consultant, he also told me to do 2 rounds, pgs everything and then stop. I also let 2 other leading London consultants who told me to collect 10+ (one said 17) embryos before deciding to move to DE. So, you might want to try a 3rd round if the 2nd round doesn't yield anything.
Thanks for the advice. I didn’t know we were at the same clinic? Interesting re embryo numbers etc. The problem is, it’s all a lot of money financially!!
I know it’s a lot of money - just sharing a perspective in case you have it in you to try a couple more rounds with your eggs. I’m not at the same clinic as yours but I did meet with your consultant for a second opinion. What was striking for my partner and I was that there is a sperm and egg bank very prominently attached to your clinic, which may influence what your consultant is recommending. Also, as I said, I heard different things from other good consultants, happy to share pointers if you reach that point.
Thanks. I don’t know which consultant you saw as there are a few at the clinic. Our consultant recommended DE in USA money allowing, otherwise Spain in particular or other countries in Europe. There was no push to the donor egg bank related to the clinic. In fact quite the opposite surprisingly.
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Does it ever get any easier 😢
When does the worry end?!
IVF referral to CARE fertility and smoking test?
Anyone’s OTD coming up this weekend?
Smoking- giving up#help
