I just can't relax no matter how hard I try 🙈

[Fellow-IVFer]

As you all know I got my BFP which I truly am delighted with 💕 I have 6 days until my viability scan and I am a nervous wreck. The reason why is because I've been doing far too much reading and come across some upsetting stories. One lady was testing positive even though she had a "missed miscarriage" and another lady was measuring 1 week early and was told it would end in miscarriage. I honestly didn't even imagine these things could happen. My heart goes out to you all having difficulties ❤ I am wondering if I should try and get an earlier appointment?? All this stress can't be doing me any good 💭 X

[Blue1986]

Hello!

One thing you need to realise is that the majority of women who have a good experience don't post, so you just end up reading the 'bad' stories. It's tough. Those first 12/13 weeks are very difficult, but try make yourself feel better by not reading things which upset you. I was exactly the same until I realised that I was torturing myself. I stopped and let myself get excited a little, read about how my little bean was growing and the changes taking place. I tried to relax a little and took it day by day. After your viability scan you will feel a little better. Try giving yourself a break!

[Fellow-IVFer in reply to Blue1986]

Hello lovely,

Thank you so much for your reply. Yes I guess it will be all the 'bad' stories. I have seriously taken your advice on and I am not reading anything else which will make me sad. I feel like I owe the other ladies the support they gave me on here so it will be hard not to read 🙈 Can you advise of any 'positive' websites? Doesn't have to be a forum but just some uplifting reading. I seriously need to give myself a "break". You have made me look at things in a different light so thank you very much for that 💋 X

[Blue1986 in reply to Fellow-IVFer]

Yeah! You can do it ❤️ As far as websites go I just Google and see what I can find. One of my favourite sites right now is 'happiest baby', which is more for later pregnancy. I have also bought a few pregnancy books.

The period you are going through now is the worst and I promise it will get easier.

One thing I did also was to use a site which determines chances of miscarriage, I know it sounds counter intuitive, but it made me feel better watching the chances get lower and lower.

Only 5 more days left!

[Fellow-IVFer in reply to Blue1986]

See below x

[Blue1986 in reply to Fellow-IVFer]

I was waiting today to see if you were going to post. Twins, my oh my how wonderful. I hope you feel a little less worried now that you have seen their little hearts beating. It's such a relief! Now to the next big hurdle the 12 week scan, the next 4 weeks will feel like an eternity, but it will just get easier and easier. Uuuu I'm so excited for you 😊😊😊😊😊

[MissSaoPaulo]

Exactly what Blue1986 said - internet tends to have more horror stories as people don't post when everything goes smoothly. Step away from Google or even take a break from forums for a little while. I wouldn't try and move the scan forward, depending on how far along you are, it might be too early to see anything and that would only stress you out more. Take a breath, count down the days, basically just wait and hope. Fingers crossed everything's fine in there, chances are it is xxx

[Fellow-IVFer in reply to MissSaoPaulo]

See below x

[Music1]

You're not alone. I'm now 33 weeks pregnant and I've been a nervous wreak through the whole thing. People have been telling me to relax and enjoy the pregnancy all the way through but after 7yrs of ttc it's been a hard journey. I worried that the viability scan wouldn't show anything after a bleed. I worried myself sick that I must have had a missed miscarriage at 12wks as I felt nothing and in fact I felt nothing till maybe wk 28 as I have an anterior placenta at the back. I did have a private scan at 25wks and again at 30wks. It is hard, and I honestly read every bad story out there to prepare myself for the worst. Those of us on this site will probably have gone through so much to get here so it's understandable. Just be kind to yourself. My sister always said, think the worst but always wish and hope for the best. Take a private scan whenever you feel worried. I think mine started at £55 and it was worth every penny for piece of mind even for a few weeks etc. Wishing you all the best xx

[Fellow-IVFer in reply to Music1]

See below x

[Mainecoonfan]

Yup. You think once you get the bfp then the stress will just float away.... And it doesn't! I was exactly the same. I'm 17+5 weeks and I'm still checking when I go to the toilet for blood, I still worry about baby not growing when all scans have been great (I've had 4 scans so far and 1 was private). Best thing sometimes is to distract yourself. Don't Google. Binge watch a TV show (Lucifer was my choice)

After the viability scan I started checking the site miscarriage odds analyser. It gives you the odds of not having a miscarriage. I still use it now.

[Fellow-IVFer in reply to Mainecoonfan]

See below x

[Fellow-IVFer in reply to Mainecoonfan]

Hi lovely, at what stage was you when you had your private scan? X

[Mainecoonfan in reply to Fellow-IVFer]

I had the private scan at 16 weeks because I really wanted to know the gender 🙈 I'm bloomin impatient I know! However you can get a private scan at any time I think. I had mine done with Window to the Womb who were lovely.

[Strawberrychaos]

Hi hun, thought I’d comment to give you some reassurance. We all felt the same as you once we got our bfp. You wait so long and go through so much to get those two lines that it’s terrifying when you actually get them as your afraid to lose them. I was anxious all the way through my pregnancy for every stage I think it’s because you think that it can’t be real after all the time and effort it took to get pregnant in the first place. I wish I’d taken the time to relax and enjoy being pregnant a bit more. My little boy is 11 months now and it still doesn’t feel real. Most women on here don’t post many pregnancy updates as they do not want to upset other women in who haven’t got that far yet or have and have lost their babies. It’s a tough one. I wish you all the best with your pregnancy and have my fingers and toes crossed that everything will be ok for your scan xx

[Fellow-IVFer in reply to Strawberrychaos]

See below x

[Ruby26]

I have done exactly the same as you. Read all the horror stories and convinced myself I am having a missed miscarriage. I thought too about getting an early scan. In the end I tried to hold onto the fact that if I have a miscarriage, it’s going to happen no matter what I do and I can’t control it. So I may as well stay in the pregnancy bubble as long as possible. Also I figured the later I had my scan, if all is well, the more I will be able to see and the more relaxed I will hopefully feel afterwards.

My scan is in 2 days now so I am hoping it has been worth the wait! X

[Fellow-IVFer in reply to Ruby26]

See below x

[Noobs]

Listen to meditation on you tube and try to relax. I was exactly the same at 7 week viability scan. Because I had fallen pregnant naturally in between ivf, after the scan I was treated as normal on the nhs. I freaked about pretty much every day of my pregnancy, worrying about everything but now my perfect little boy is 9 weeks today. All the best with your pregnancy and congratulations.x

[Fellow-IVFer in reply to Noobs]

See below x

[Leanne1402]

Hi, congratulations on you're BFP, just try to relax, easier said than done I went through it for 3 weeks whilst I waited for my scan thinking all sorts of things including a missed misscarrage all because I lost my symptoms. (I still don't have any and I'm 10weeks) think positive and think happy thoughts. X

[Fellow-IVFer in reply to Leanne1402]

All you you lovely ladies. Firstly I would like to thank you all for your inspiring words and support. You won't know how much strength you have given me. I had my viability scan today and I am carrying healthy twins 🙊❤ Heart beats are strong and they are measuring 7+2. I remain cautiously happy. I am trying not to run away with myself 💃🏻 Still a long way to go 🤰🏻 I hope you are all ok. Lots and lots of Love xx

[Cinderella5 in reply to Fellow-IVFer]

Ahhh that's brilliant news, congratulations!!xx

[Noobs in reply to Fellow-IVFer]

Brilliant. Really pleased for you.xx

[Drives in reply to Fellow-IVFer]

Wow amazing 💜💜

[Leanne1402 in reply to Fellow-IVFer]

That's wonderful news. Congratulations. Xxx

[Wishingfortheday in reply to Fellow-IVFer]

That is wonderful news, congratulations!! 💕 xx

[MissSaoPaulo]

Wow, double trouble twins!!!! That's fantastic news, I'm so pleased for you. Here's to a happy and healthy next 9 months xxx

[Maybay]

Congratulations!! I’m on here now, 6w5d, looking for signs of an ectopic pregnancy.... 🙄can’t wait until 7 week scan!

[staaa88]

I was exactly the same and I have been up until my recent 12 week scan. I did the same, I would look at YouTube about early pregnancy then I’d be recommended videos about miscarriages which I couldn’t help but watch. There was no reason for my to be so worried, nothing to suggest there was anything wrong but you just can’t help it. You could try and go for a private scan, my midwife told me a strong heartbeat at an early scan means the chances of anything going wrong later on are slim. Good luck with everything and congratulations xxx

[Noah1981]

Well done congratulations xxx