Doing so well until received letter from antenatal clinic

As the post says really I was doing so well, getting myself prepared for my FET on 1st March and out the blue received an appointment letter for my anesthetic appointment at the antenatal clinic, I rang to say it had really upset me as I had had a MMC and they apologised and acknowledged I had made them aware when I had to cancel my last appointment,mistakes happen but I've been crying my eyes out this afternoon as just a cruel reminder of what could have been. At times it feels like it's getting easier but them there's just those reminders, sorry for ranting would just like some positive vibes to put my head back into the space it was xx

[MissSaoPaulo]

Someone posted about this a couple of months ago and quite a few people commented that it had happened to them too. It's absolutely disgraceful that it's so widespread. Not only is it extremely upsetting but the lack of communication/organization and updating records is pretty concerning when we're trusting this system with your health and hopefully that of your babies too.

Does anyone know a journalist or someone who could do an article about this and generate some publicity around it? It is something that could so easily be avoided and is causing unnecessary distress to people who have been through so much already.

I'm so sorry this has happened on top of your loss, it must be such a slap in the face. Hope you're feeling back on track for your FET soon. Best of luck xxx

[Hidden in reply to MissSaoPaulo]

Thankyou, think it just hit hard because it came so out the blue and I had a positive pregnancy test too couple of weeks ago which was either a false positive or a chemical pregnancy so had a tough couple of weeks. It's sad that it's happened to other people to.

How are you getting on? Xx

[MissSaoPaulo in reply to Hidden]

Aargh, it's the last thing you needed then!!! We're doing really well thanks xxx

[Hidden]

I am so sorry it’s so hard to carry on and you think you are doing ok and then something like this knocks you back. I had similar happen with a scan appointment

Sending you all the positive vibes I have for you, I am trying to be super positive too and ‘onwards and upwards’ so hoping you catch some of it. Xxxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hi Daisy, I had it with my scan appointment too, you would think that the departments would have access to our records. Thankyou for sending positive vibes, I know you've been through a really hard time to. Do you mind me asking what tests your clinic have said that they will try?

I'm going to have an intralipid injection few days before my transfer to see if that helps xx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hey lovely. We didn’t have any to freeze so have to start again sadly. When I asked what we could do my consultant said we could test for all sorts of blood results that would suggest I would try and fight any embryo, and he also wants to do an MRI of my uterus. I asked him about chromosome testing and he said we could do it but it would mean 3x freezing cycles and basically amassing a load of embryos to then test and results showed that gave a lower than average birth rate so he wouldn’t recommend it.

I have to call his secretary when I FINALLY get my negative and start the blood tests and MRI follows in 4 weeks. He said not to rush next round as eggs need two cycles to recover post MC xx

[Picalilli99]

I’m really sorry that this has happened. It is really frustrating as such a careless mistake (which seems to happen quite frequently) can cause such unnecessary upset. I’m sending you lots of positive vibes. It sounds like you’ve been doing so well though which is great. Try not to lose sight of that - it is totally understandable that this has upset you but you are strong and you will pick yourself up again xx

[Hidden in reply to Picalilli99]

It's just so hard,also took delivery of a parcel for my neighbour this morn....from Mothercare!! I've got to keep sight of the transfer, thankyou for your message xx

[Picalilli99 in reply to Hidden]

Aww it’s horrible when it just feels like it’s one reminder/trigger after another! It feels so unfair especially when you are really trying to be positive. I can totally relate to that. Try not to be hard on yourself when you do get upset though - all these knock backs can be so hard. But it’s great that you are trying to keep focused on the transfer. I’ve got everything crossed for you xxxx

[Hidden in reply to Picalilli99]

Thankyou, I must admit I've been teary all weekend.

I've also had to call clinic this morning as had a bit of blood and they have told me take an extra progynova a day,have my scan booked Weds just hope it won't affect my transfer date. Hope your ok xxxx

[Kempton]

Sorry you had to go through this. There really are some incompetent people in the world. I'm glad they acknowledged their mistake.

Try to keep strong and look forward to your FET. Wishing you loads of luck with that.

[Hidden]

Hi Kempton,thankyou for your message, I'm sad to hear that it happens quite frequently x

[Hidden]

Yeah I’ve had this too after my 2mc after 16w midwife rang to ask if I’d changed surgeries which I had because my old one was closing, said she was ringing to arrange an appointment with me, was awful something I didn’t need to hear.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

That really is awful,you would like to think they would check records beforehand. How are you?

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

She was very apologetic and said there’s a gap in the system they’re not told from the EPU as routine. Nobody has rang me after this last one not yet anyway hope they don’t.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hopefully you won't, its really not what you need. How are you doing?

[2-shades-of-hope]

This happened to me too Claire and it was horrible, so sorry this happened to you too.

[Hidden in reply to 2-shades-of-hope]

I'm surprised how many people this has happened too, i know you will understand how it feels but it's completely knocked me for six. How are you doing?

[2-shades-of-hope in reply to Hidden]

I cried when I got that letter and felt it massively set me back (more than I thought it would). There were other massive failings in how my miscarriage was handled so I actually complained and had a meeting with the lead consultant. He apologised genuinely and admitted that I had received poor and unsafe care and it really helped me get some closure. You might not have the energy to pick them up on it at the moment but you could always do that at a later point if you wanted to.

[Hidden in reply to 2-shades-of-hope]

I'm sorry that you had to go through a similar situation, I felt invisible after my miscarriage,the mud wife I had seen originally didn't even return any of my calls, I felt like I was no longer relevant...if that makes sense. I'm glad that you were able to get closure and I think at some point I will make a complaint but purely because I wouldn't like other ladies to go through the same thing x

[Lizzielizzielizzie]

This really does happen too often. When something similar happened to me I made an official complaint in the hope of stopping it happening to other people. Yes mistakes happen but they should be minimised. I’m so sorry. But keep your hope. I had two miscarriages but now I’m sitting here nursing my frozen embryo... now a two month old baby. Miracles can happen xx

[Hidden in reply to Lizzielizzielizzie]

Hi Lizzie, I think your right I should make a complaint because it would be awful for other ladies to have to go through it.

How are you and your little one getting on? I have my FET on 1st March,so hopefully I will get my little miracle xx

[Lizzielizzielizzie in reply to Hidden]

We are good thank you. I’m keeping fingers crossed you get your miracle xx