I shouldn’t feel like this... ⚠️ warn... - Fertility Network UK

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I shouldn’t feel like this... ⚠️ warning possible sensitive post ⚠️

LHow81
LHow81

I am so lucky to have my beautiful two year old boy who we struggled to get for so many years. We have ruled out having another baby we would have to pay and use donor eggs as mine are pretty much useless now I’m not getting any younger and my pregnancy wasn’t great towards the end. So to get to my point I still feel upset at peoples pregnancies announcements it seems nobody else struggles (apart from one of my nieces who was trying for a whole “year” and had some assistance and fell the next month, and has now just found out she’s 23 weeks all naturally) in terms of people I personally know. I feel like I missed out on a happy just nice pregnancy and a normal birth and I won’t get that chance. I know it sounds so selfish when so many of you here deserve any kind of happy ending pregnancy and I hope each of you get it. I guess I’m just having a whinge and a moan. Sorry! Xx

5 Replies
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Of course you are thankful for your little boy you have already but it doesn't mean you can't be sad for what you haven't got and it always hurts when someone else gets something you wanted for yourself but you lost out on and it's not selfish it's grief talking.

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I can really relate! Honestly I can. I’m feeling much the same. There’s 100 % no more children for us, but I often find myself jealous of other people’s news and how smoothly everything went for them.ive even stopped watching things like one born every minute and call the midwife. We almost lost Charlie when he was only a couple of weeks old after a pregnancy that had been full of stress. It nearly broke me what happened with Charlie and I said I could never go through that with another child plus I’ve got scar tissue from the c section, and I’ve accepted it, but i will admit I’m getting the same feelings you are. Especially as Charlie just turned 2 last week I feel like I’m not going to be needed anymore. I hope it’s normal to feel this way, big hugs xxx

Hey, I can understand that this must be hard for you. Jeolousy is pretty common and that is nothing to be ashamed of. Mainly because you're just about yourself. I although am not in the same situation as yours but I also do get upset about such things. I am going to starting IVF. I hope this works for us. I also had financial issues due to which we had to think outside of the box. We are visiting a clinic abroad at a much more reasonable cost.

I totally understand and feel exactly the same. My little girl is also 2 years old, pregnancy was great until diagnosed with placenta prévia and told to wrap myself in cotton wool. As it was, the C-Section was fab, but at the time I felt like a complete failure, couldn’t get pregnant on my own and then couldn’t give birth on my own either...

And yes, the announcement of all my mummy friends being pregnant with number 2 sends me into a downward spiral. I feel bad but I’m completely jealous.

Secondary infertility is upsetting in many different ways.

Sending you big hugs. You can’t help how you feel xxx

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I was with you on your pregnancy we were I think a week apart sadly lost him at 17.5 weeks. We all need to have a moan I would be bed ridden and suffer all the aches and pains to be lucky like you were and many are.

Each pregnancy is different so you never know with a second 1.

However glad to hear you are all well and enjoying your not so little bundle of luck x

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