No-go word of the year

[sarahharas]

Hi all,

In my home country the society is voting for the "word of the year" and similarly the "no-go word of the year" when the year is coming to an end.

For me this (although more a sentence) clearly is: JUST RELAX AND IT WILL HAPPEN!

I cannot express how much I hate this sentence. I am an absolute supporter that a healthy body needs a healthy mind but this is just to much, especially when there is a medical reason behind it.

It is especially annoying from people that are male and have no idea about any of this usually in combination with "making a baby is so much fun". But also from people that went through this whole pain with a successful outcome (clearly not everybody just some. They suddenly seem to have forgotten the pain and despair.

Getting pregnant is a biochemical process and if it happens or not clearly does not depend on our mood. I am doing yoga/meditation to calm my nerves but how can I relax when I am going to the clinic twice a week with bloods taken and having a scan? I look like a drug adddict with all the injection bruises on my body and I feel like a breeding hen when doctors discuss if I am growing eggs.

My best cycle I ever had (in terms of egg quality) was when I was most stressed. I had been working 12hrs a day including weekends. Now that I am totally relaxed, taking some days off and having chilled working days, I dont even respond to the medication.

Sorry for this long moan but I just cannot hear that any more!

xx

[TerryNaples]

I know how you feel. I'm with you <3

[Lizzielizzielizzie]

Yes it’s a sentence that feels like it’s designed to make you feel guilty and that infertility is your fault. No matter how relaxed I am, my husband is still going to have a balanced chromosome translocation and the same is true of so many other causes of infertility. Relaxing won’t grow tubes back or stop pcos. It’s incredibly unhelpful!

[AnnieAnnie]

I am with you on this! Relaxing and chilling out won't help my low AMH rise or make my blood thinner as I have a clotting issue. And the other one I hate is, when you least expect it to happen you will fall pregnant. Erm nope I won't, I need to inject blood thinners so it's not going to happen naturally xx

[HollieW]

Agreed. There are so many irritating comments when going through IVF and people telling you to relax constantly is up there as if you would purposely stress yourself out! Good luck on your journey xx