IVF and Work?? Unsure what to do...

[MissN]

We had our first IVF consultation on Monday. Really good news, the doctor is sure that it will work for us and suggests it should take no more than 2 attempts (I thought this was really ballsy of him to say).

There is nothing wrong with either of us, my partners sperm is a little slow but nothing to worry about and my scan showed 28 follicles without any stimulation this month. I did want to scream at him "so what's the problem??" We have been trying for 5 years with 3 IUI attempts and nothing! Hopefully IVF will tell us more.

I am a little gutted as i had booked all of December off expecting everything to happen next month. He has pushed us back to Jan now due to Xmas meaning the transfer won't take place until the end of Jan. I asked if we could start the injections next week but he refused. I have quite a demanding job and have to travel a a lot, i am little concerned how i am going to juggle everything without telling work what is going on. It is quite a dangerous subject to bring up - i would basically be telling them i am planning to take a year off. What company wants to hear that?

I am excited to get the ball rolling but obviously frustrated at the waiting game. Has anyone had similar problems juggling work and IVF? Would it best to tell them what is going on?

[foodie68]

Like you I have a demanding job, work away from home 3 days per week and also had reservations about telling my company. In the end though, I decided to tell my manager mainly because I didn’t want the stress of making up excuses about why I couldn’t be in the office etc. I don’t think IVF and stress go well together. I’m now on my 2ww and on reflection I think I made the right decision. My manager had been very supportive so much so that over the past two weeks I’ve been working at home.

[MissN in reply to foodie68]

Fingers crossed for you. Is this is your first round of IVF? How did you manage the appointments, scans and the collection and transfer whilst working away 3 days a week? That is the bit i am most worried about and why i think i need to broach the subject with them. I have no idea what to say... hopefully my manager is as understanding as yours.

[foodie68 in reply to MissN]

This is our first round, with regards to scans and appointments I worked from home on those days. The scans are generally very quick only around 30 minutes so don’t impact the day too much. The injections were the only complicated part when working away as I had to remember to pack everything but so long as you are organised it’s fine. With regards to symptoms I didn’t sleep well whilst on Buserelin but that was the only issue I had.

For egg collection I took two sick days of work which I did need as my tummy was a little sore and then my transfer was on a Saturday so I didn’t need to take anytime off for that.

[Hidden]

I just did IVF whilst working, and it was tough. I felt tired, very bloated and a bit grumpy! If you can inject yourself - or have someone at home do it - then that will help. Each person reacts differently to the hormones, but my advise is that you can still juggle work and IVF, but make sure you take it easy and leave work on time and limit travel...good luck

[MissN in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. Have you had your results yet or still waiting? Unfortunately i react really badly to the hormones so know i am in for a tough ride. Can't imagine work stress on top of that will be easy. Did you tell your work what was going on?

[Hidden in reply to MissN]

Yes, it was a disaster. No embryos made it to blastocyst. I had 14 eggs...8 were healthy, and his sperm was apparently fine too. Devastating. That is one thing I will say: keep positive, but do prepare yourself in case it doesn't work as no doctor can be absolutely sure. I just wish I had prepared myself mentally for it not working, then I might be less of a state now... I am trying again though.

I didn't tell work - I find it too personal, but it completely depends on your relationship with your manager. Mine is male and just wouldn't get it.

Good luck, I really hope it works xxxx

[MissN in reply to Hidden]

I am so sorry to hear your news. It is such an emotional roller coaster and then adding the hormone side effects on top of it all urghh. IUI has been bad enough so I am trying to prepare myself for IVF. When will you be trying again? Will you give it some time? xxxx

[Hidden in reply to MissN]

It really is...urgh. So unfair. But you just have to focus on the end goal, that’s what I am trying my best to do.

It’s tough. I am literally obsessed with fertility now - googling to the point of ridiculousness. I should sit back and relax, but I am so scared it will happen again and my clock will run out that I just want to keep doing it. Maybe to convince myself that this is all some stupid mistake and I am fertile after all! Or he is....who knows.

I am trying again in January. Hope at least one makes it x

Good luck with your cycle, keep me posted xx

[Imperfect89]

I have still gone to work up until Egg collection and transfer.. then I have had a week off to relax. I will be going back after transfer. Hope everything goes ok x

[MissN in reply to Imperfect89]

Thank you! I think the week off will def be needed. Good luck with your transfer. Was the collection painful? x

[Imperfect89 in reply to MissN]

A couple of days before collection you can feel something’s there and it becomes a bit tender. Egg collection wasn’t bad at all, I was asleep for the whole time and wasn’t aware of anything from the sedation. After, I came round really quick and there was hardly any pain. Then the next day was the worst for pain, it was like strong period pains. I’ve rested ever since and am finally starting to feel ok again ready for transfer. So, no the collection wasn’t painful but the after pains have been quite uncomfortable. x

[SConnor]

I wouldn't worry about injections because you can take them with you in your travels - I did some on flights, in the toilet of restaurants etc. They can be at room temperature so that is fine.

But then towards the EC time you will need to go every 2 days or so to have your scans, and those dates cannot be changed, they need to monitor you very closely.

The timing of the last shot before EC is critical too and then its EC time. I didn't take any time off afterwards but worked from home that whole week, I was feeling very sour for a week from day 2 from EC.

And finally, you can't possibly know when your transfer will be after EC, Day 3 or Day 5...

As the others are saying, stress and IVF don't go well together, so whichever truth or excuse warn them you'll need some flexibility around those days for a minor medical procedure.

Good luck!

[MissN in reply to SConnor]

Thank you for the advice. I think it would be best to book that week off either way. I will either bite the bullet and tell them or pretend i'm off on holiday. The lack of a tan might be a give away though lol.

[SConnor in reply to MissN]

Maybe it was a ski holiday lol

[MissN in reply to SConnor]

lol i can always go on a sunbed with some goggles on

[Hidden]

Hi

I was the same. Thankfully I was in a position where I could quit my job, so that’s exactly what I did! The stress of work and telling them what I was doing was too much.

I wouldn’t worry about telling then, I am sure they have to support you? It would be discriminatory if they didn’t I think? But then I guess it also depends who you work for!

[K84k]

I have a pressured job, had asked my boss in Oct to take me off this highly stressful project because we were starting IVF in Jan. Didn't happen and now the most important part of the project will be next week, same week as egg collection. I'm able to work from home for my appointments but planning to take the week off sick after transfer to give it the best chance. I did try with work but this will possibly be our only chance at IVF/ICSI so this is my priority.

Good luck with your journey and do what's best for you with work 🤞