Helplessness 😔

I miscarried my baby on Saturday. Today I’ve been having overwhelming feelings of helplessness. I have an indescribable fear that I’ll never have a baby. Not sure I want to go on.

[Tugsgirl]

😞 I’m so sorry. I often feel the same way but it isn’t all the time, it just comes and goes. It’s extremely early days for you and it’s going to be raw. Whatever does or doesn’t happen in the future you have absolutely done your best xx

[cryst4l]

Aw I am so so sorry you have gone through this. I know how incredibly hard it is being through it myself a few months ago. Please dont think that you are alone. We are all here to help and support you on this forum. Things are still raw like tugsgirl says, but in time you will start thinking about your next steps when you are ready. No pressure on you, just take the time you need to grieve. It will happen for you. It took me a while to believe that I couldnt have caused my mmc, and that it happened for a reason, whether it was genetics or my body wasnt ready to accept it, who knows. But being a severe endo sufferer, I am pregnant again so it will happen for you too. Have faith and hope and stay strong. Here if you need to talk. Lots of hugs sent 💕xx

[AS100]

I’m so sorry for your loss 😔 I’m sending you love and big hugs 🤗 you’ve been through an awful lot, I hope with time and support you will feel a little stronger each day xxx

I have at times felt helpless too, but it’s true “nothing stays the same”. 💕💗💗💕

[Hidden]

I’m so sorry it is an awful time the feelings are overwhelming I’ve had 2 mc and my last was July I still have trouble not crying when thinking about it especially when still ttc. Take your time ask for help if you need it. Talk to your husband aswel mine suffered badly and felt really low. Xxxx

[AliHopeful]

So sorry to hear this! Please don’t feel like you failed the good news is you managed to get pregnant So many women go through this you are not alone. We just had a failed IVF first round and it’s so hard to heal myself and to pick my husband up from it. All I can do is try not to over think and to take things week by week at the moment. Positive hugs 💁🏼‍♀️

[Hollibob]

You need to take each day at a time at the moment.

It’s because it means so much to you that it hurts so much, but also what gives you the drive to keep going. Sometimes we just need longer to get over some of these hurdles!

I always wondered what would be worse, never getting pregnant or having more than one miscarriage....I can safely say that our miscarriages have left a hole in my heart and part of me is slightly numb to the world!

X

[staceymac83]

Hi hellsbells

I am exactly the same as u, had a miscarriage on Saturday and having some really tough days. One day am fine and think I will get through this and the next I don’t even have the motivation to have a shower and get dressed.

Am afraid I don’t have any advice as like yourself am taking each day as it comes but I just wanted to let u know ur not alone ❤️ feel free to message me whenever u like. Xx

[Hidden in reply to staceymac83]

Sending you so much love ❤️ Thank you for your kind words. I will message you x

[Hidden]

Oh hellsbells36 I am so sorry, it does get better and you will get your dream one day. Have you been offered or asked for counselling? Now more than ever it will be helpful. Dark days are bad enough without having to deal with being in a dark lonely place.

We are all here for you too. Massive hugs xxx

[Hidden]

I’m so sorry for what you are going through & I felt like that when I had a chemical pregnancy. As others have said it is early days & in time it will ease. I wish there was something I could say to help you, but in thinking of you & hoping you get your happy ending xoxo

[Suzannah1985]

I’m so sorry to hear this.

I promise it does get easier, be kind to yourself and give yourself time.

I have been where you are, so if you need to talk, please feel free to message me xx

[Masha111]

Hi i just want to mirror what everyone else has said really. You need time to grieve, take up counselling and take each day as it comes. In time you will be strong again, dont lose hope or faith. It will happen. You will be a mum. Sending you lots of love xxx

[EmJen]

I’m so so sorry you are having such a hard time. I’ve been there, and it is such heartbreak to have that hope and have it taken away. I know it feels hard to believe the darkness will ever retreat, but I think somehow time does at least allow some light to creep in. I’ve found the helplessness still washes over me in waves at times, and I let it be and recognise it is just an incredibly hard and sad journey. I wish there was something more to say or do to make this time more bearable, but know that there are lots of us sending you a lot of love 💛💛

[Aleelilook]

I’m so sorry to read this lovely, it really is heartbreaking 😞 take one day at a time, it’s horrible and it’s fresh, but just know you won’t feel this overwhelmed forever. I read a lot after my first mmc as it helped me to switch off occasionally, wrote in a diary just to get it out, and spoke with my counsellor a lot which was helpful. Please know you aren’t alone xxxx

[Cinderella5]

Im so sorry honey! I have never been in your situation having suffered from pregnany losses but I havent ever been pregnant so I do feel that helplessness and fear that you will never have a baby....that I can relate to so much! Its all so soon after your loss that your distress and hurt must be so bad....Im kind of rambling but I just want you to know that Im thinking of you, we all are! Lots of love.xx

[threesthemagicnumber]

I’m so sorry to read this. Miscarriages are devastating. It doesn’t feel like it now, but you will get through this. Take all the time you need to grieve, sleep, read, eat, watch crap films and talk. Anything that feels restorative. Whether it’s a relative or a close friend - find an ally to share this with so you don’t feel alone. Sending hugs xx

[hifer]

I am so so sorry for your loss. I miscarried about 2 weeks ago now. I feel your pain and I know exactly what you are feeling. You have to take every day at a time as things do improve. I took 2 weeks off work (although I wasn't actually planning on doing this) but I wasn't ready physically or mentally to go back. I spent a lot of that time with my fiancee just talking and crying. I can only tell you that I feel a lot better today than I did when it first happened so you will too. I promise that things do get a little easier with time. I can also say that it has made us stronger as a couple.

We were given some counselling details at the hospital and we may still go down this route, so it may be something that you would like to explore. Either your hospital / GP etc will have details if you think you might benefit.

You can go on, I promise you. It is still so so raw at the mo. You will also have better days than others but that's all part of the healing process.

If you would like to DM me then please do and I'd be happy to chat. Sending you loads of strength and hugs. You won't feel strong at the moment but I can also promise you that you do have the strength to come out the other side of this.

xx

[Autumnmoon]

I'm so sorry and wish there was something I could say to ease your pain hope you have lots of love and support and just sending love x

[Lizzielizzielizzie]

😢 your hormones will be all over the place after a miscarriage. After both mine I found I had to try to ride the waves of my feelings because they would change from hour to hour. I would say don’t make any irreversible decisions over the next few weeks, you won’t be thinking straight. Even trying to plant bulbs in my garden last autumn after miscarriage 2, come spring I realised I’d planted them all in the wrong places. It’s really really hard so please be kind to yourself and maybe seek counselling (eg through your gp? Or contact Tommy’s or the miscarriage association).

[Binky1983]

I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling like this. I know it’s hard at the moment, but it does get better. You’re grieving and that’s ok, it’s only been a few days. We are all here if you need to talk and don’t be afraid to go and speak to your gp about how you are feeling if it doesn’t start to lift. Take care of yourself and each other. Xx

[Rainbowhope]

I'm so sorry for your loss. This is heart breaking. Take time to recover and the look at all your options. Don't lose hope. X

[AJJ123]

I know this was a few days ago, and you’ve commented on mine because I’m going through my mc too. It’s really horrible but we will get through it, these babies weren’t meant to be I guess. But that doesn’t mean it won’t ever be xxx

[runsoncuddles]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope and pray you can take the time you need for yourself. You've suffered a loss and there's no way you can just rush through the emotions. Take it a day at a time. We are all here for you 💐

[Dunla]

I’m so sorry for your loss, I don’t know how I missed your post. As the others have said, try to take things one day at a time for now. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. Sending you love and thinking of you xx