Time off work, am I being weak? Please help x

[LegoBatgirl]

Hi all,

Sorry it's been a while. Being honest the journey hasn't been super for my mental health so I took a bit of a break from the forum and kept on with the counselling.

I'm on a short protocol, day 5 of stims, I have 19 follicles so far but I feel awful. Really bloated and uncomfortable, constantly a bit sick and really tired. My auto-immune issues have gone crazy and I have some really nasty new patches of psoriasis.

I know I'm only on day 5 of stims but should I self cert from work and then see if I can get a sick note until after egg transfer? I know so many strong women work pretty much right through but I just feel so tired and drained. I've had 3 panic attacks in the last 3 weeks and almost bumped my car the other day because I was so tired driving home after work - I just don't really feel safe.

Any advice would be really appreciated, even if it's just you guys telling me to pull my socks up and push through!

Thanks in advance x

[Tugsgirl]

Do what is right for you. I’m not going to tell you to pull your socks up and just get on with it, unless that’s what you want to hear? Lol. If you think you need the time off then I think you should take the time off. Don’t be hard on yourself xx

[LegoBatgirl in reply to Tugsgirl]

Thanks, you read about some women who've had like 40 follicles and kept on working and being strong. I'm usually really hard on myself and never sure when to just step back and just rest.

I read about so many side effects etc. but I honestly didn't expect the constant tiredness, can barley keep my eyes open most days!

Thanks so much for responding, I really appreciate it x

[gemmy999]

Hi, sorry to hear your feeling so rubbish. I have just been to the doctors to get a sick note. I have struggled this cycle with being on stronger drugs. I went off after transfer this time. You don’t have to continue on when your struggling. It’s important to take time out when you need to. Your not weak by taking time off to rest. I wish I went off sooner. Everyone going through IVF is strong weather they work or not. Take care. Xx

[LegoBatgirl in reply to gemmy999]

Thanks hun I really appreciate your reply. I really needed some guidance and everyone's experience here is so helpful to learn from. I think you're right taking a break and I hope you feel better soon. I hope you don't mind me asking but where are you in your cycle? X

[gemmy999 in reply to LegoBatgirl]

Hi, I’m 5dpt on fresh cycle 3. Starting to get very worried about the end results now! Hope you feel better when you have had time to rest XX

[LegoBatgirl in reply to gemmy999]

Thanks hun. Best of luck with your OTD, keeping my fingers crossed for you x

[gemmy999 in reply to LegoBatgirl]

Thanks x

[Hidden]

Oh love I'm sorry to hear this. You're not being weak at all- this process effects everyone differently. I took the week off of EC, and I'm so glad I did as I felt horrendous- more tired than I have ever been in my life. I do know of some GPs who will willingly sign people off to give the IVF the best chance of working, as you need to stay as stress free as possible and look after you. Your body is trying to tell you something, definitely listen and take all the time you need. xxxx

19 is a really good number though- I hope they're all growing nicely- do you have an EC date yet? Got everything crossed, been thinking of you a lot xxxx

[LegoBatgirl in reply to Hidden]

Thanks so much hun, been thinking of you and hope you're doing well? I've not got an EC day yet but I hope it's soon, already feel like my ovaries have swollen from the size of grapes to the size of apples!

I'm hoping my GP will be sympathetic, it's like a perfect storm of physical and mental health issues and I'm so tired of being tired! X

[Sfarre]

I'm also on day 6 and feel very much the same! I've had so many side affects - headaches, nausea, anxiety, insomnia - I have basically felt sore and miserable the entire week! I'm very fortunate to have a work from home job so I can lie on the sofa and work (tbh, sometimes pretend to work!), I don't quite know how women who have to go in to physically demanding jobs can do it!!!

I would say definitely take any time off that you need - go have a chat with the gp if you want a second opinion, I'm sure they would sign you off officially if you needed it.

Also - something that has really been helping me mentally is regular relaxation and meditation sessions. Have you tried anything like that? There are some great things just on Youtube and Spotify etc. I also did an acupuncture session a day ago, and that really helped me to relax and sleep better. I usually do yoga but due to the sheer discomfort, I have just been doing a supported childs pose with wide knees.

Best of luck, I hope you feel better x

[LegoBatgirl in reply to Sfarre]

Thanks so much for your reply. I am so grateful to be able to talk to women who are going through this and have these kinds of tips to share.

I'm doing a nightly meditation and so thankfully no insomnia and I have an acupuncture appointment today that will hopefully help me to relax.

The main problem with my job is my commute. It's about 45 mins to an hour drive each way and I'm so tired I'm really worried I'll have an accident.

Thanks so much for taking the time to respond. Hope you feel better soon x

[Sfarre in reply to LegoBatgirl]

Yes, it is so helpful to me to hear that you are having a similar experience actually! That's great that you have an acupuncture appt today - I was so impressed with how much better I felt after mine. I'm already counting the days til my next one

Take good care of yourself and try not to worry, you are doing marvelously well. Feel free to pm me on here if you want to have more of a moan x

[LegoBatgirl in reply to Sfarre]

Thanks so much, honestly you're a star. I am so glad to have people to share with and this journey is so hard sometimes x

[Hidden]

I took two weeks off after 2 weeks of down regs, it was needed. Don't feel bad and do what is right for you. No one's experience is the same and we all have 'life' as well as this to face.

If you needed it off, take it.

This time is stressful and you need to look after yourself. If time off will help then so be it.

I wish you all the best and I hope you start feeling better soon xx

[LegoBatgirl in reply to Hidden]

Thanks so much I really appreciate you sharing. I only ever seem to hear stories of women who manage to work like 50 hour weeks and do IVF. It's so great to see that we're all human and it's fine to take a break if you need one x

[genten]

I think you should take time off it you need it. Youre not weak at all hun.

I took a week off at egg collection then everything was frozen and after transfer didn't take any time and really regretted it.

Do what you need to do. Xxx

[LegoBatgirl in reply to genten]

Thanks hun, really appreciate you replying. I'm so wiped out I just wish I could switch my brain off. It's so great to have people who know what this is like and can help me make these decisions x

[Cinderella5]

Hey, I would take the time off if you feel like you need it. Its not a sign of weakness, this whole process take so much out of us mentally and you sound like you're suffering physically too, that's a lot of follicles. Look after yourself, that's the main thing!xx

[LegoBatgirl in reply to Cinderella5]

Thanks, I'm hoping that it'll be a good number of eggs as really having one healthy embie is all I'm hoping for at the moment.

I guess with round one you can never know how you're going to react and it's just bad luck that the hormones seem to have sent my immune system a bit crazy x

[Clark2018]

Hi ! Im going to be a little controversial. I had 40 follicles, short protocol and went through stim whilst working 8-10 hours days. It was awful and I felt exhausted. I was horrifically bloated and felt sick. I barely ate in work and made excuses to avoid lunch-times at my desk. None of this helped.

Looking back I don't know how I did it; so please know you are absolutely NOT weak. I consider myself a strong person and it completely floored me. My work life was stressful and my home life too. Nipping at my DH for no reason.

If I were to give you advice from my personal experience id say try to power through until the EG stage. I found thats when you'll really need time off. After the surgery and the effects of OHSS. But please don't push yourself to the limit. You know your own body and you'll know if time off is what you need.

Your journey is your own personal one, even if the treatment and the process is the exact same. We all react to it in different ways and its nothing to be ashamed of. Good Luck with the rest of Stim and Chin Up x

[LegoBatgirl in reply to Clark2018]

Thanks for sharing your experience, it's so scary when you have no idea what to expect!

At the moment I'm just super tired and bloated but the effects it's had on my psoriasis I really wasn't expecting. My skins come out really badly and I just was not ready to be pushed to my limits like this.

I hope you don't mind me asking but as you had so many follicles was it good to have such high numbers or is this a quality over quantity thing? Everything is so new to me and this feels a hard way to learn!

[Hidden]

I think you know the answer already. Definitely this is a time to be selfish.

Wishing you all the best xx

[LegoBatgirl in reply to Hidden]

Thanks hun, sometimes you just feel like you need permission to put yourself first. I spend so much time looking after everyone in my life I sometimes forget how to look after myself! X

[Hidden in reply to LegoBatgirl]

Exactly. We are all like that. Which is why we will make amazing parents! X

[LegoBatgirl in reply to Hidden]

Fingers crossed x

[MrsAdzee]

I’m on my first cycle of IVF. I personally found the work/IVF process too overwhelming and I went off when I started stimming. Doctor happy to sign me off. I tried going back just prior to ET but I was an emotional wreck: managed 6 days but it got to me. So I’ve an appointment with the GP soon and I’m hoping to be signed off until the end of my 2ww. I think it’s very individual-depends on how you feel, the pressures you have at work. For me I felt the need to put me first and Work is less a priority. I know everyone is different and there’s the financial pressures to consider too.

Do what you feel is right - no one can tell you how you feel. Good luck and take care of yourself xx

[LegoBatgirl in reply to MrsAdzee]

Thanks so much for sharing I really appreciate it. I wasn't expecting to feel this ill and I really wish I'd planned more down time or had more leave x

[MrsAdzee in reply to LegoBatgirl]

It sounds like you need to take the time. My way of looking at it was that I didn’t want to have any regrets later on that I didn’t take some time when I really needed it. Work will go on without us....this is more important xx