Insensitive Posting

[DianeArnold]

Hi Everyone. I have recently received a complaint from a fellow member on this Forum, with regards to some ladies bemoaning their aches and pains during early pregnancy. Obviously, the first few weeks of any pregnancy whether through fertility treatment or naturally is an anxious time, but please be aware of all the others still desperately trying to get pregnant and facing losses and failed cycles too. They are longing to feel these aches and pains, so please be sensitive to your fellow “posters”. Consult your GP or clinic or hospital, and then once registered with a midwife, approach her/him with your worries – she/he is there to listen too. Remember we love to hear of any successful treatment cycles, which are such encouragement for others. Scans and photos of new-borns are always wonderful to see and we welcome them, but they can also upset people. Please always ensure that you put a warning of them in your post title, so those who don’t want to see, can move on to another one. At some stage do read the “IMPORTANT Posting Guidelines” over on the right hand side of the screen. Diane

[Charleexn2]

Thank you for this post. xxx

[Hidden]

Thank you Diane

[Lynnr54]

Hi Diane,

Would it be possible to look into getting a forum set up on Health Unlocked for pregnancy after IVF/infertility? I know there have been a few attempts to set up Facebook groups but they don’t really get used as people don’t know about them after the initial flurry of membership whilst they’re set up and then you’ve got the added challenge of it needing to be a secret group and it not being easy to add people to it. If there was something on here that people could access in a format that they’re used to then it might be a better place. I know a lot of ladies say they don’t like normal pregnancy forums because others don’t understand what they’ve been through to get there. A follow on forum on here would allow ladies that have followed each other’s journeys to continue to support each other.

Thanks!

[Hidden in reply to Lynnr54]

I was about to ask the same thing!

It would be really lovely to have a post fertility treatment success forum 🙂 it is different for us when we conceive because many of us have struggled for years! xoxo

[Hidden in reply to Lynnr54]

Such a great idea!

[Lou9 in reply to Lynnr54]

I think this is a fantastic idea and I know I would have found it extremely helpful during my pregnancy. I never posted in any of the pregnancy forums, mostly out of fear of ‘jinxing myself’ but also as I always felt my worries were different to those who hadn’t experienced infertility. I often said to my husband that I wished there were ‘pregnancy after infertility’ support groups in our area, I went to classes like pregnancy yoga but even still I would often come home feeling quite isolated. Experiences of loss and infertility remain with you well beyond a positive pregnancy test. Xx

[NMP1026 in reply to Lynnr54]

This is such a good idea. This would be really useful xx

[Beechnut1 in reply to Lynnr54]

Great idea!

[M1980]

Reading this has made me really sad. I have posted a couple of times on here to seek advice regarding feelings/ pains that I have had. My intention has certainly not been to moan about these feelings, but to seek advice from others who may have felt similar and I apologise if I have upset people. I am obviously delighted and feel privileged to be in this situation and understand that others would love to get to this stage. Suppose this is a gentle reminder to us all to think of others when posting any positive news, whether it be that we are receiving treatment on nhs or that egg collection was successful, transfer took place, pregnancy test results etc, scans, births etc as might hurt the feelings of others who have not been as fortunate. I have found great comfort in this site and have found that no matter what you have gone through, how you feel, you are not alone. I have posted comments as when contacted my gp/hospital etc for advice they are not interested as there has not been any bleeding, st been told to wait till scan so have found the advice/ reassurance on here really helpful, especially due to the medical expertise. I think a branch of the site for post pregnancy results would be great as most people on this site totally understand our anxieties and over thinking everything given the journeys we have all had. Thanks for all of the advice and apologies if I have upset others.

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi M1980. This is the other side of the story, where people such as yourself have found comfort and reassurance from others here, and given it too. It can be such a scary place to be once you have that BFP not knowing whether the pregnancy will continue or not, or even miscarry in a few weeks. We become so aware of our bodies too at this time. Sadly there are few places to turn to in the beginning, so we will still be here until we can get some funding for the charity to branch out to cover pregnancy after fertility treatment. As far as I am concerned, I will never turn away anyone who sends me a private message, and will continue to support anyone in need out of hours where possible. As far as scans etc are concerned, I think those posting them are becoming more “sensitive aware”, which is as good as we can get to an “off” button. Remember too that most of us have supported the ladies who share their scans and baby photos, and just want to show us the results. Let’s all try and move on from this now. You’re all a great bunch, who give so much to each other. No doubt we will continue to get the odd “weirdo” from time to time, but I’m on their case! Thanks for your comments M1980, they have been welcome. Love to all. Diane xx