Any teachers on here that have been through IVF during term time?
My husband and I were hoping to complete our first round of IVF ICSI, during the summer holidays. However due to needing more tests beforehand this wasn’t Possible. We are hoping to start treatment at the end of September/ beginning October. Really worried and unsure if I will be able to take time off for egg retrieval and transfer. Should I wait until October half term? (Don’t really want to put it off until then).
Haven’t spoken to head teacher yet, not sure whether to do this when I go back in September. Don’t really want to tell many people at the moment.
Any advice would be great?
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SLord992
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Hi, I was in a similar position although we had some delays so we didn't really get started until the summer holidays which has been a blessing in disguise. I knew that I'd have a lot of appointments both before and after the ivf (whether things go work out or not) so I told my headteacher. He was very understanding as I think a few other female teachers have had ivf in my school and he's vaguely aware of what's involved in terms of time off.
Obviously it's up to you whether you speak to your head or not - if you have a good relationship or you think he/she will be understanding then I think just be honest. There might be times when you need a day off because you're emotionally not up to it or just exhausted so could be best that they're a little prepared for you to be off at times. You also won't get much notice of some of your appointments and won't get much/any say over the timing of them so I think it could be hard to keep thinking of excuses to be out.
Sorry - that was a bit of a rambling response! Your head teacher should keep everything confidential anyway if that helps!
I'm in the same position as you, last transfer luckily fell during the summer holidays but unfortunately resulted in a chemical we are now looking at next transfer late September. Was dreading telling my head but she has been so lovely and supportive and understands that timing is crucial and as much as we would like cannot dictate our cycles and treatment to start in the school holidays. We are having treatment abroad, so have had to have quite a bit of time off in this last school year. I really hope your head is as supportive as mine, is there any other colleagues you can talk to that will keep it confidential? I've told a couple of close colleagues and it has really helped me, they have been so supportive. All the very best to you and truly hope you get the support at work that you need X
I think I will speak to my head, because I wouldn’t want to keep trying to think of excuses. I think she will be more understanding if I’m honest with her.
I think I’m going to tell my TA, as she works with me everyday and would be hard to keep that from her if I’m out quite a bit.
I hate having time off and feel guilty for it, but I think I am going to have to put myself and my well being first. X
Hi SLord992 - I told my TA which I felt was important as she needed to cover my class when I was out at appointments (which I always tried to get first thing). I also told the teaching colleagues I work directly with and my headteacher & deputy. I’ve done two cycles while in school and I won’t lie, it is a bit tough. Much easier in the holidays BUT, keep reminding yourself that this is your priority, your chance to make a family and try to put yourself first as much as you can. Good luck xxx
I also work in a school, within the office. I have told my line manager who I believe has told the head that I might be having some procedures for lady stuff. Once we know wheb the IVF is actually going to start then I’m guessing I will tell the headteacher as I’ll have a better idea of dates/time off etc. We need an IVF for employers leaflet! I would say tell the closest people you work with (as long you comfortable to)
We are hoping to start in October, we have our information session with the nurse at the end of September.
Hi there - I too work in education and hear where you are coming from. For me it was important that as fewer people knew at school as I like to keep things private. I think it's best to check if you have policy for time off/special leave. We do and this means that I can take paid time off. I only told my direct line manager and HR manager and they log my time off discreetly. I have friends (both teachers) who recently went through IVF and they were open with their employers and got time off, no problem. Hope it helps.
Thanks again for your replies. It really helps to know there is others who have been through this/ going through this to, and I’m not alone. It’s so difficult deciding who to tell and who not to. And very frustrating that we have to go through this, when other people don’t really need to tell their employers until they are showing with their pregnancies.
I’m sure I’m worrying about nothing, but I do find it hard enough telling people who I’m close to about my IVF situation, let alone others. X
My school has a policy of up to five days paid leave per year for fertility treatment which can be taken as part days. All the staff at my school have been incredibly sympathetic and I was basically told to have as much leave as I needed- further leave is at head’s discretion as to whether it’s paid or not. I did one round a year for three years and never needed additional leave as I scheduled everything I could for beginning/end of days to minimise time off but clinic was quite a way away so I did miss some time. Also I work part time so was able to schedule scans for days off sometimes which helped.
Definitely tell your head what’s going on, they usually appreciate honesty. Then it’s up to you who else you tell but I told everyone and got nothing but fantastic support.
I also get five days paid leave for fertility treatment. I’ve told work about it, now it’s going to happen. I’m just wondering, did you need additional days to the five?x
Hello. I am also a teacher and was really unsure what to do with regards to telling my head teacher. I spoke to my line manager, who was also a good friend and she convinced me to tell the head. It was the best decision. The head was so supportive and really lovely about the whole situation. As I left her office, she wished me all the best. I really hope that you find your story works out the same. Good luck xx
My HT was very supportive and I went through the process 3 times and Was about to start a 4th when we fell pregnant naturally! I am in Scotland and my council did have an ivf policy regarding time off albeit out of date. You will Defo need a few days of for after your collection and maybe a couple for your transfer I would say. Some people take the whole 2ww off but I chose to irk to keep my mind off it, I guess it depends how stressful your job is Bd what works best for you x
Hi, I am in same position. I am a teacher too. Tried to have fresh cycle over summer but it was cancelled due to lining not quite right. Starting again September/October. I have two other children through Ivf 3 yr and 1yr. None of my cycle s have fitted into holiday s even though I have tried. I didn't tell anyone at work. My doctor signed me off for any appointments I need. Alot of the blood tests etc at the start you can schedule before or after work. Egg collection and 2ww stayed off. I never usually take time off and am totally committed to my job but you have to give ivf the best shot. No one blinked an eye when I was off. Good luck X
Hello! Just to add to this I spoke to HR and my head and was really honest and they were excellent, as long as you make it really clear that dates and times are changeable then I’m sure they’ll be fine! HR said to remember you can self certificate up to a week, so if you need time after EC then do it then, but I have to say my head just asked to give them as much notice as possible. It was the guilt that got me in the end, round 1 and 2 was fine, but after our miscarriage and another round plus exam fever (I was secondary, head of two departments) it was too much!! My advice is reach out to people, my team and friends picked up the slack and really helped, and DO NOT FEEL GUILTY!!! Nobody minded helping at all but I drove myself nuts, and it’s not helpful! Good luck! Xx
I agree, don’t feel guilty!! Both head teachers I worked for whilst having ivf said to me that there are things that are more important than work. And at the end of the day, it is their responsibility to ensure that you are properly covered whenever you are off work for any reason. They are paid to do this. And the children will cope. All of us teachers like to think we are indispensable to our classes but a few days/hours off won’t make a huge difference to them.
I'm an Early Years teacher. I had my first cycle in Feb/March and only took 2 days off for egg collection. My TAs covered any hospital appointments, but the hospital were good enough to give me their earliest appointments so it only ever meant I was out for an hour at the beginning of the day. I developed a nasty chest infection during treatment and still dragged myself into school, which on reflection was silly of me (teacher's guilt!). That round ended in a BFN.
For my second cycle in June/July I decided to ask my GP to sign me off for a fortnight after transfer. I did loads of school paperwork at home, but it was all on my own terms and it was the best thing I could have done. I'm currently almost 10 weeks pregnant.
All my TAs knew about my treatment, as did my head and co-teacher. Everyone was so supportive.
Sorry no advice as I’m equally worried and in the same situation. I wanted children and to become a teacher. So we started tcc over 2yrs ago thinking baby would come first but registered on schools direct to train just in case. I never expected to have difficulties. It just didnt happen. I found out my husband has asoospermia during my training year which was tough. I thought IVF may be this summer but same as you, more tests. Problem is I’m an NQT starting at a new school. Il already have time off for NQT training programme and graduation 🤦🏻♀️ I don’t know the head or any of the staff so no idea how they will react. I also don’t know if absenses will effect me passing my NQT year. Plus major guilt not teaching the kids. I totally get it...it’s a nightmare really. Additional tests were booked for first day back of term so I have delayed those to Oct half term and I’m hoping procedures may happen over Christmas now. But if I keep pushing back appointments this significantly delays treatment which also makes me feel guilty as both me and husband have wanted a baby for years.
So I’m sorry I’m of zero help but i’d love to know how you get on. Fingers crossed for you x
With regards to NQT year I used to be a mentor so might be able to help, you will have a 10% reduction on your timetable so you might be able to duck out early if you have frees in the afternoon you could make appointments then. Schools take into account that you maybe ill or have medical appointments, if an NQT is off for 30 days or more then they will just extend the NQT year by the amount of days lost over 30. So basically professionally you won’t have problems passing your NQT year!!! Xx
Hi. I just told my head I had hospital appointments. I only took one day off for and after EC. I chose not to tell her as she is indiscreet. I knew everyone would know and I didn’t want that. It would have been easier if I could have told her confidently knowing it would be kept confidential but I just had to work with it. I knew for sure it wouldn’t be kept confidential from experience of her telling me other things about other people. Decide based on your knowledge and judgement of the professionalism of your head I would say. I hope that helps. Good luck for your cycle. xxx
Hi, I’m a teacher aswell, and always feel guilty for asking for time off for appointments. I went to see my HT and just made him aware that I was going through some medical stuff, and that I’d need time off, and that sometimes it would be short notice. He was great, didn’t ask any questions, and just said to let him know as soon as I could. My husband and I are keeping this very private, so didn’t really want to tell either of our bosses. I do know that others in my school have gone through difficult times with infertility, and he’s been great. I’m sure he knows it’s something like this. I have t looked into HR but it’s something I’m looking into next week. Hope that helps. Good luck xxx
To be honest I didn't tell my school as I wasn't sure if the reaction I would get- it's a Catholic school. However I have another condition they are aware of which requires hospital visits and I made out it was that. I took 2 days off for egg collection and my transfer was done on the weekend before we broke up for the Summer holidays xx
I told my head and a partner teacher on my first cycle. I wanted my partner teacher to keep an eye on me as I was paranoid about the side effects and thought I need someone honest to let me know if I look like I’m not coping. I don’t have a Ta but would have told them if I had one, for the same reason.
Luckily I coped ok and my head was very understanding when I lost my pregnancy and gave me some time off.
I’m now on my second cycle and managed to time most of it in the holidays and funnily enough I feel like I’m struggling with more side effects at home ! I guess it’s have more time on my hands and more time on my own .
I’ve not been sleeping well with hot flushes and I’m quite irritable and snappy! One more week to go thankfully
Hi SLord992! i'm a teacher up in Scotland. For me, I would have to ask how supportive your headteacher / management team are generally and how supportive your GP is. I was up front with my management team - part of me sightly regrets it now as HT / DHT although aware and supportive to a degree, don;t seem to understand the gravity of what we're now going through (just starting round 3). My GP is fab - we got a new one between 1st and 2nd round as the initial one moved surgeries. First was supportive - ended up being signed off during first 2ww last November as was stressed with the whole process and working - he stated IVF on my line. Second GP turns out to be VERY supportive -signed me off for duration of second round stating "surgical procedure and recovery time" explaining I didn't need "nosey biddies" in personnel sticking their oars in. What a difference going to back - no questions at all! This time round It turns I was due to start with this period which I predicted for tomorrow but started yesterday. Only prob was school started back last week - GP signed me off for last week explaining that in the big picture, one week of stress at the start of the year is not worth it when you're trying to get pregnant at the best of times let alone through IVF. Have just kept a low profile and kept calm - boss has not been in touch at all....Totally feeling the benefit of it. Hope all goes well and remember you have to do what it best FOR YOU x
Thank you for your reply. I’m not 100% sure how they will react as I’m fairly new to the school, but I’m currently thinking that I will speak to the head. I suppose it will show that I’m being honest and open, hopefully they’ll appreciate that. Current GP isn’t that great but could always see another doctor in the practice, who may be more helpful.
Finally found the courage to tell my head teacher during my appraisal. It was very difficult and did tear up, but she was very supportive, said she’d keep it in confidence and will allow me to have time off for appts etc. Big sense of relief now 😊
That's brilliant. Well done. So much better that you have someone supporting you at work and someone who understands what you are going through. Wishing you all the best for your round xx
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