So I'm still bleeding from my miscarriage after I passed everything on Monday. Nobody warns you that actually, it's not just heavy bleeding even when they're only 6 weeks in size (I should have been 8.5 weeks) I could definitely tell what it was as I could see it, not as small as they said either. Anyway.. emotions wise I'm torn. I know there's a reason as to why I miscarried and I'm dealing with that. Part of me is eager to move on to the next round as it actually worked after 5 years! I successfully ovulated once and got pregnant. I want that again, I want to be that happy again. At the same time I'm struggling to find the motivation to decide when we start treatment again because I'm so fed up of treatment, unbelievably pregnancy and our baby seem further away now more than ever before. Part of me is apprehensive as I know our next pregnancy will be tainted, it won't be the same as the upset and worry and what ifs will be even worse. I have to carry on because if I don't I genuinely dont know what I'll do, as much as I live my vocation I'm not career orientated and I was happy just doing a "lay persons" job however I enrolled in uni after to began this journey as to one day help women like ourselves at the core in endocrine and in infertility research. I just genuinely feel like we are so much further away and that we will struggle to enjoy our next pregnancy. Sorry for the rant however my husband worries enough about the strain on me and my body that I don't want to worry him more and nobody else 0really understands and to be honest a lot don't listen as they only care about their lives, their kids etc etc. Gosh - I know were all the same but I just miss the child I never got to meet and worry so much for the child that is yet to exist.
Just don't know where I stand. - Fertility Network UK
Just don't know where I stand.
Bless you it is really early days and your loss is new and raw you must just be gentle on yourself and get through this however you can try to do some nice things with your hubby friends and family when the time is right you will know and though sadly you are right there will be even more stress next time if all goes well you will gradually feel more confident as you pass each milestone while you will never forget this baby hopefully you will find joy in holding your baby in your arms in the future x
Thank You, it's strange because I don't feel as bad as o thought I would however that may be because I no longer get my hopes up too high during treatment. I want to move on to the next round but it feels like getting back in a car after a car crash if that makes sense? Xx
I’m so sorry for your loss, just heartbreaking 😔. The bleeding is just so cruel, I bled for 14 days after my last loss... it was a soul-destroying reminder every time I went to the loo and saw blood 😢. I guess the thing is that as raw and painful as this is right now, it does get better with time & you’ll pick yourself up with renewed positivity. There is every reason to believe that your next clear cycle will be your time & that you’ll be blessed with your rainbow baby 🌈 Until then, take some time to grieve and to focus on you xx Sending massive hugs to you, such a strong lady xx
It really is. I was bleeding for 5 days before the heartbeat stopped and 9 days before I passed everything, I'm now on day 12 and it's coming in waves. It does seem to be calming down though, I just want It to stop now because I'm so sore from pads. But I'm also concerned I have am infection, possibly uti which obviously doesn't help! But I'm off to see the consultant tomorrow to talk about things and I'm going to make sure that certain checks are done next time and they are noted in my care plan x
It takes a good while to feel ok again in many ways after miscarriage. I was desperate to stop bleeding but bled for a couple of weeks after one at a similar stage to you. You’re right, no one warns you that the bleeding goes on and on.
The miscarriage association have a phone line if you feel like talking properly to someone about how you feel right now would help x
It's just such a strange thing.. like, of course were upset but at the same time I try to look at the "good" side and think it was probably a chromosome or placental issue and it's better off happening sooner rather than late as I can't imagine misscarrying 10 weeks+ heck, even if they had been the right size and 8 weeks it would have been harder. But at the same time I rejected medical miscarriage and d+c ad I felt like the pain was something I needed to experience and do xx
I felt exactly the same about it being for the best, and I was emotionally remarkably ok for a long time. I struggled with my due date though. In my case we were lucky enough to find a cause for our infertility and miscarriages, and sure enough it’s chromosomal, and I was right to feel lucky that the pregnancies ended when they did, as those embryos would never have been “compatible with life” to use the horrible medical terminology.
Yeah, at least we got the chance to enjoy them while we could. It's the one thing I told myself throughout, regardless of what happens I would enjoy being pregnant for that day x
Miscarriages are tough hun, like the others have said it's normal to bleed 2 weeks +, it's all still very raw for you hun, please don't expect too much from yourself. Use this time to come to terms grieve and take all the support you can get, I totally get all your feelings hun their so valid in this horrific time. You just need to take it easy at the moment. Like Lizzie said maybe contact miscarriage association and, have a chat with them.
Sending lots of gentle hugs and love, you'll get through this hun one day at a time 💝😘💝
Yeah I'm up to 12 days now but I started bleeding 9 days before everything passed. It is slowing down now but it's still super heavy. And I know my iron levels are low again - I can feel it. Even though I'm on the highest dose of ironi can get x
In a couple of, my losses I bled for a week plus till I passed everything then that's when the bleeding would get heavy and I'd bleed for upto 2 and half weeks. Feel rubbish and weak. Its not a walk in the park at all hun, maybe try liquid iron flurodix that helped me loads on my last two losses absorbs better than these tablets that they give us. 💝😘💝
I really wish I had the right words to say to make you feel better somehow, but I know I can't. All I can do is send you hugs and loves and that I'm thinking of you. Xxx
I had a miscarriage 3 1/2 weeks ago. I agree with you that it is nothing like a big period. I took 3 weeks off work. It took 10 days to stop bleeding. I found when the bleeding stopped, I felt a lot physically stronger, and back to feeling normal. In terms of the grief, I’ve found it’s moved on in stages, and I’m still working through it. I went back to work this week, and it’s been hard. But it’s going to take a while to feel better. I hope you are taking time to grieve and heal. I’ve found talking helps. I joined the miscarriage Association forum, and that helped me not feel alone. It also helped me see that all the emotions i was going through were normal.
Oh I might join that..is it a Facebook forum? xxx
Yes, it’s a Facebook forum. I find I’ve got a lot of support on here as well, because I’m 34, and I was trying for over a year. I find the ladies on here understand miscarries and infertility issues. And the worry of being a bit older as well.
yikes I am 40😯xx
I didn’t mean any offence. I have depression and anxiety and I worry about everything. I constantly see in the media about fertility over 35. I’ve been to counselling about my fear of my age and worrying about my future. I’m going again soon.
Oh no not at all...I just feel like a geriatric these days esp in nhs in earlier days when I was a younger 37 and every sentence finished with..for your age..really pissed me off...I am sorry you worry so much about age and media certainly doesn't help. ..I try to focus on success stories on here of all ages and remain hope if possible. ..much love xx
Thank you, yes it is hard and I hope we all get our happy ending xx
I really needed to take a break after my miscarriage last year. I needed to grieve for our baby and take some time out of the merry-go-round of IVF. Without it I couldn't have kept going, but glad we did. Wishing you all the best.xx
Thank you, I don't think I can wait to be honest. I'm ready to be pregnant and have a baby and the longer I wait the less likely will be to go back as I work up all sorts of scenarios in my head. The worries are of course there but I feel with things by planning and moving forward xx
So sorry!! I know how utterly devastating and shocking this is 😢 I’ve had 3 miscarriages ranging from 8-14 weeks and 3 chemicals over the last 3 yrs. Take your time to grieve, be kind to yourself and each other. You will get through this trust me!!! 😘 everyone I know has had a miscarriage, it’s like the body trying things out. Take faith in the fact you can get pregnant and you will be again. I’d lock the world out for a week or 2, cry, get angry and then suddenly a warrior strength came over me and i came up with the next plan with my equally devastated husband and we got through it together. In between cycles we made fun plans and acknowledged our blessings - health, each other, family, friends and tried again. Sending you lots of love, light and strength xxx
good advice xxxx
Gosh you have definitely had a hard time haven't You! I'm so sorry for your losses and I cannot possibly imagine going through it more than once. Thank you, it's such a hard journey isn't it xx
I know you’re not far away from me. If you want an ear or a shoulder at this difficult time; just shout xx
A miscarriage is tough, especially after a long time of medical treatment, waiting and hoping... I am really sorry you are going through this. It is quite normal to bleed for a few weeks. In fact on one of my miscarriages, I stopped bleeding after a couple of weeks and then started again about a week later which took me by surprise.
Personally I needed to take some time off work after each of my miscarriages. I wasn't in the right place to work and it helped me a lot to take some time out, look after myself and immerse myself in things I enjoy. I also spoke with a counsellor, which helped enormously.
Give yourself time and you will feel when it is the right time to start thinking about it all again.
Sending you love xxx
hey hun..I could have written bits of your post myself..firstly I am so so sorry for your loss and sadly I know your pain.we miscarried a month ago after our first ever bfp after 5 rounds of treatment. we opted for surgical management and only got our baby's remains back this week. we had a wee ceremony just two of us and placed baby in water where we married then planted a rose bush in garden. I found creating these memories and honouring our baby really helped. we also made a memory box of scan pics and other bits and bobs..find ways to remember your precious baby which has left a footprint forever in your heart. allow time to grieve and ALL feelings are normal. book a holiday and nice things to look forward too and when you feel physically and emotionally ready and your warrior strengh returns you will know what to do next..much love and here anytime xxxx
Haha a holiday was a start of all the drama! Staying out for a while I think lol. Yeah once we feel ready were going to get a memory box and put a little teddy in and the scan photos. They may seem insignificant to others however they will always be important too us xx
who cares what others think...that is your baby and your first photo of them..that will always be a treasured memory..honour it in any way you feel is fitting to your previous baby..hugs xxx
Hugs to you Vic 💝😘💝
thanks hun...hope u well xxxxxxx
💝😘💝
I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. I totally agree that the information surrounding miscarriage is terribly misleading - 'it's just like having a heavy period'; absolute rubbish, and completely dismisses the devastation of the loss and the exhaustion of grief that comes with it, not to mention the physical pain (in my case anyway). There isn't a short cut through this, and as everyone has said you should take some time to grieve. You will emerge from this and be a stronger person for it, but for now you need to rest, grieve you baby and acknowledge your loss. Sending you love and strength xxx
Your right, I don't understand how people can say it is as I saw the gestational sac, the embryo and the placenta. And I'm damn sure I had contractions too xx
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