Anyone pay for their own treatment?

OH literally has no money left after we both jointly paid for 2 rounds of ICSI and meds which both failed. The only option we have is donor eggs in Cyprus. Hoping it works but i will have to pay for it myself out of my savings. Anyone had to bite the bullet and pay for their own cycle as OH skint? X

[Kyell2]

It’s all so stressful isn’t it, and so unfair that money has to play a part in it.

We’re paying for our own treatment and we’re already 5k down and we haven’t even started treatment yet.

I do think it’s only money...but I’d rather be spending it on something other than this. I say go for it, if you can afford it x

[emu2016]

Hello, we’ve paid for our own treatment in Cyprus for DE IVF. I think a lot of people here will have paid for this own treatment and of course flights & hotel etc.

Our clinic guarantees frozen embryos for FET. Which is cheaper than a fresh cycle of course. I didn’t think this would bother me; until we got no frozen embryos and then they attempted to make new frozen ones with a new donor and that didn’t work either. Now we are having a fresh cycle for the price of a FET. Which is a relief. X

[Hidden in reply to emu2016]

Yeah we would both normally pay for it but as my partner has no money he cant pay for anything anymore so i will be paying for it myself. Hopefully it will work or thats it as i will be skint too x

[emu2016 in reply to Hidden]

I missed the bit about partner being skint. I never really look at it like that... you’re a unit together in this... we saved for our ivf round and then whacked some on a credit card. I probably paid a bit more in to savings and off the credit card because I earn more. For this round we are using some more savings we’ve had which we hoped weren’t for ivf. I’ve perhaps put in more; but what’s mine is his. And if it works? We’re unlikely to ever have savings again. But it’s going towards something to make us both happier x

[Hidden in reply to emu2016]

Yes im sooo hoping next time it works. Then i can be looked after on maternity leave 😃

[Blondyboo]

I’m currently pregnant from DE treatment in Cyprus. Doesn’t matter where the cash co es from if you can afford it any way go for it! Lots of luck x

[Hidden]

I agree it will hopefully be worth it in the end xxx

[Hidden]

I am number 7 in all private funded with 5 being fresh transfers. Somehow you find the money....

[Gillyc1]

I actually opened a go fund page and did other fund raising to pay for my daughters ivf. We had paid for the 3 cycles before and literally had no money left. We managed to raise £6000 in about 7 weeks. Xx

[sandra81]

I paid for both oe cycle and de cycle. It can b draining on finances but as someone said sometimes you just say it’s only money. I am stone broke now but finally preg with twins on donor cycle. I think it’s worth it in the end.

[Lizzielizzielizzie]

In our marriage, all money is “our money”, we put everything in a joint account then allocate out a certain amount per month for personal spends such as individual clothes and treats. I work part time so if we didn’t do this then I would permanently be skint and my OH would be rich. I know this wouldn’t suit every couple but it works for us. Fertility costs have come out if our joint savings as do things like cars, mortgage and holidays.

How do you plan to finance a child if your ivf is successful? Would you move to a more joint system of finances then? If so then maybe now is the time to do that?

[Hidden in reply to Lizzielizzielizzie]

We both have good jobs so will be able to save for the 9 months. I also have a mother in law who will be happy to look after lo whilst we work and our office is a 10 min walk from her flat xx

[Lizzielizzielizzie in reply to Hidden]

Sounds like a good set up. Lucky you! My question was more about whether you would share your finances when lo arrives and if so, whether you could just do that sooner and then it would not feel so much like you were “paying for it yourself”, more that it was a joint cost? Sorry if I haven’t explained that very well.

Best of luck with whatever you decide xx

[Hidden in reply to Lizzielizzielizzie]

Hi we currently pay halves for everything all bills etc but ive managed to save as i gave up clothes shopping and a social life! And i earn a little more than my partner. I also had my house broken into and all my jewellery stolen so got some insurance money for that. If we had a baby we would go halves for everything for the baby. xx

[AJJ123]

Yes. My mum decided to step in ... not a peep from the other side... just saying x

[Hidden in reply to AJJ123]

Thank goodness for some mums! My mums offered to lend me the money but i know once i borrow money off her that will be it. If we have an argument she will throw it back in my face! Grrr!X

[AJJ123 in reply to Hidden]

My mum just wants me to be happy. If I had it and my child was going through this I’d do it too, but I don’t have any savings so I guess it’s different. If I did I’d use them and she wouldn’t need to do this xx

[Hidden in reply to AJJ123]

Sounds like you have a lovely mum. I wish you all the luck hun Xxx