Looking for some advice. Reading the support and advice on here has helped me through some dark time and now I feel I should seek some advice. 1st time posting.
Husband and I have been trying for 1st baby for over 8yrs now. I feel for a long time I was in denial due to being over weight. It wasn’t till I went for a smear test in Oct 2015 and talking to the nurse that I realised I had to do something. At that point we had been ttc for 6 yrs. Made appointment with GP, had basic tests done and all seemed ok. Referred to local hospital. Blood tests, semen analysis all normal (not in-depth tests as far as I remember) so had internal scan and all seemed ok. At scan appointment and review. We were basically told I had to get my weight down to a BMI below 30 before any more tests would be done. I had already joined a healthy eating class and my weight was steadily going down. My cycle regulated on its own after losing 4st (previously between 23-35 day cycles) I had lost 5st by Feb 2017. Which made me feel amazing. Then out of the blue at the start of April 2017 I discovered I was 6 weeks pregnant. I was absolutely over the moon and in shock. Everything I ever wanted had finally happened. Had to wait till 10 weeks for my 1st midwife appointment. The appointment went great, given all the information and reassurance that me still being over weigh shouldn’t be an issue but they were going to given me baby aspirin as a precaution.
Then 2 days later my whole world felt like it was ending. I suddenly had excruciating pain on the Sunday and has to Phone triage at our local maternity and had to go to hospital. I was miscarrying our baby. We were absolutely devastated. The hospital were amazing and after a few days. Everything physical was over. Told to take HPT in 2 weeks to check if negative. It was negative so no need for medical intervention. So thankfully my body helped me for once and no surgery or medication neeed. This helped as we wanted to continue trying after 1st period as my age is always on our mind and feel like we are running out of time.
That was nearly 9 month ago now and here is where I’m stuck. Cycle is ranging from 35-48 day and very heavy/painful. Not like this before miscarriage.
When is it time for me to bite the bullet and go back to Dr. Do I need to wait a yr after miscarriage before they will help?
Ppl say I need to get over losing baby before ttc again. I’ll never be over it, only thing we can do is learning to live without baby and the lose of what should have been as I don’t have the luxury of time to wait.
Is there anything I can do to help regulate cycle?
I am back on my healthy eating plan and weight is starting to go down again so hopefully if Dr won’t do anything now then hopefully in next 6months-1yr. I’ll be in the healthy weight bracket. By then I’ll be 37 nearly 38.
Have any of you been in similar situations where your GP/hospital won’t do more tests due to weigh. If so what did you do?
Is private an option if over weigh? I know the healthier I am the better. I don’t smoke and rarely drink alcohol. Still 3st to loose.
Sorry for the extremely long post. I am so lost and the constant reminder of not having kids and all the pregnancies around me is extremely difficult. Which I know you all know and have learnt through your own hard journeys.
Take care everyone and thanks for being the one place I don’t feel alone. xx