5dp5dt - emotional wreck

[Sarah_a_2018]

So I’ve made it to 5dp5dt and I started being a bit weepy on Wednesday and last night and tonight have been a complete emotional wreck 😭😭😭 symptoms have come and gone, no bleeding, today I’ve had cramps that have felt more like pre period cramps and I’m a bit more convinced this cycle hasn’t worked and only the progesterone prolonging my period 😩 I bought tests to take but am going to wait a bit longer, one of my colleagues had her 20 week scan yesterday and announced she is having a boy, two of our friends announced a pregnancy today and it has completely floored me, this never bothered me until now, am devastated 😭😭

I started off the day feeling positive and just to take one day st a time but I don’t think I can go through this again, has anyone else felt like this? X

[Tugsgirl]

You’re doing really well! Hang in there! Please don’t test early, you could potentially add to your torture.. there’s a reason for giving us an otd. Just hang in there, you can do it 💪🏻 xx

[Sarah_a_2018 in reply to Tugsgirl]

Thanks xx

[AllWeNeedIsluv]

Gosh this whole journey is a emotional roller coaster especially for you ivf warriors. Hun listen to Tugs wait till test day like she said it's there for a reason . You don't need to add to your anxiety. Wish you all the baby dust in the world 💗💗🤗😘😘

[Sarah_a_2018 in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv]

Thank you, would just love to have even a single clue as to how this will turn out but there just isn’t 🙈 will hold off until next week and have booked some time off work to recover from whatever happens, will need to give myself plenty of time to recover before I attempt this again if I need to xx

[AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to Sarah_a_2018]

Hun. Don't sound so negative just yet there's every possibilty it's worked, try keep busy mind occupied look for holidays or do some coloring maybe book a night to cinemas don't let the what ifs symptoms etc consume you. Give it till test day if it's worked then big celebration if not then grieve and make a plan for next time but for now be good to yourself and take care 💗💗🤗😘😘

[Sarah_a_2018 in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv]

Thank you 😘

[AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to Sarah_a_2018]

Good luck hun. 💗🤗😘

[TTCs]

U can do this 💕 hopefully u will be making ur own pregnancy announcement soon enough! U have done so well gtn this far, hang in there! Xx

[Sarah_a_2018 in reply to TTCs]

Thank you xx

[emu2016]

I remember the 2ww emotions well! Try and plan some nice things to do. Be kind to yourself and don’t feel bad for just being at home and taking time for you. Hang in there; you’ve got this xx

[rinsp]

Hey hun I'm in the exact same boat. 5dp3dt and had a complete melt down last night. My clinic called to say my pr8gestrone was low( 19.6) and for me to up my doses and add 2 more injections. They set me off. Filled me with negativity and anxiety.

We haven't got long to go and I think we just need to remember that it's out if our control now. I said The same thing to.my husband last night that I don't think I can go through this again. Its such a difficult journey. How are you feeling now?

[Sarah_a_2018 in reply to rinsp]

Thanks rinsp, hope everything is going ok for you! I was so busy preparing myself for how to get through the actual treatment that I wasn’t prepared for the whole 2ww and just how emotional it is, the not knowing, being tricked into feeling your pregnant by hormones, while people around you are getting pregnant like it’s the easiest thing in the world 😭😭😭 and this might not even work!

I was up really early this morning so did some tidying, had some more period like cramping but I’m not bleeding so I can only take that as s good sign and am just going to try and take things one day at a time and hope for the best and that’s all I can do really.

Hope everything goes well with your treatment and am keeping everything crossed for us, wouldn’t wish this on anyone it’s the worst thing to go through but really hoping it’s worth it xxx

[rinsp in reply to Sarah_a_2018]

Ditto. Woke up at 7am to take my meds and tried to have a lie in. The only think we can do is take it one day at a time. When is your test day?

[Sarah_a_2018 in reply to rinsp]

The 27th got another week to wait 🙈 I almost tested this morning but since I was up at 4am to pee by the time I was fully awake I wimped our and thought I’ve peed 3 times already lol so not sure how accurate it would be 🙈 I’m just going to wait and take it as a positive that every day I’m closer to test day and not bleeding is a good sign x

[rinsp in reply to Sarah_a_2018]

Exactly. If been waking up every day for The past 3 days to pee to bat 430! Is that the hormones?

[Sarah_a_2018 in reply to rinsp]

I think so, it’s pretty unusual for me to wake up so early even to pee, unless I’ve drank too much water late at night or I’m on my period.

I am dropping off to sleep before 9pm but am waking up at 3-4am every morning for the last week 🙈 I make myself stay in bed and I can usually get back to sleep, this morning I got up put a washing on washed the dishes watched a film then was sleepy lol so I managed to go back to bed til just before 8 x

[rinsp in reply to Sarah_a_2018]

Sounds just like me. I really am praying for all of us in this 2ww. I couldn't bare to have another loss. Just need to stay positive x

[Prickler]

Hang in there!!!! I bled 5dpt and I've just got my bfp..please don't give up hope! Xxxx

[Sarah_a_2018 in reply to Prickler]

Thanks Prickler 😊 I’ve only had period like cramps and the feeling that I’m just about to start bleeding but I don’t and it comes and goes 😳 I’m on 6dp5dt now and no bleeding but have read some encouraging comments that people have had more intense cramps about this time and got a bfp so I’m still trying to think positive and hold off as long as i can to test, can only take it one day at a time and try not to think too much about a negative outcome but still prepare myself if it happens x

[Lizzielizzielizzie in reply to Sarah_a_2018]

Those symptoms (like you’re about to come on) are exactly the same as early pregnancy symptoms for me (I’ve been pregnant twice). So you really can’t tell from symptoms. Hang on in there, test day is getting closer every minute.

[Hidden]

I just want to support what Lizzielizzielizzie has said- when I conceived in July I had no symptoms and also felt my period was coming- because she is right- early pregnancy v pms are identical and are impossible to tell apart. Pregnancy symptoms do not happen till much later on ( after the missed period).

All the best with the 2ww hang in xoxo

[Sarah_a_2018 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks ladies, I’m just going to take it a day at a time and just be glad I’m not bleeding 😳 was woken up this morning with cramps and thought oh god this is it, it’s over I’m going to start bleeding and nothing, I really wanted to test but am going to wait until test day and just try to be mindful of what’s going on in my body and not panic, am feeling odd physically these just aren’t usual pre menstrual signs but trying not to get my hopes up, emotionally I’m just drained 😩 think some retail therapy is in order today, thanks for all your kind comments and support xxx

[S-Joys]

I could have written this post myself, I had to take a double take. I'm 6dp5dt and my test day is 26th.

Have you taken use of any fertility counselling? I asked and was told I am entitled to 6 sessions per cycle on the NHS. I initially thought I'd keep it incase it doesn't go as planned but you know what the stress got too much so I've had 3 appts so far and it's good to talk, rant, complain to someone. Next appt is after test day so might be an emotional one.

[Sarah_a_2018 in reply to S-Joys]

It’s not an enjoyable experience this at all but it’s helping knowing I’m not the only one!

We were only given information about it in the pack we received from the clinic, we were in a good place when we started as I had over a year from when we were initially referred to prepare for this, my thoughts were to arrange an appt for us if this doesn’t work out next week.

The one good thing to come out of this is that if we need another cycle I know what to expect and can be better prepared for it, I actually wanted to go on holiday for our 2WW and it almost happened but our treatment got delayed by a month because of Christmas and new year closures and my husband is an accountant so him taking time off in January wasn’t feasible, will be doing it for the next one! X

[S-Joys in reply to Sarah_a_2018]

Oh that would've been a great idea. A holiday would've been lovely. Might keep that in mind if I've got to do this again.

We were also delayed by Christmas. Did you have to down reg for longer due to it? I was on the down reg drugs for 44 days in total so really messed with my emotions.

[Sarah_a_2018 in reply to S-Joys]

No I had to stop altogether and start again on day 21 of my next cycle, my October period was 8 days late so I don’t know if that skewed things a little bit but I had to start down regulation in November and when I phoned about my baseline scan they told me I wouldn’t get treatment before Xmas so I had to stop and then restart day 21 of my November cycle so was pretty upset already when I started and on top of the anxiety it hasn’t been an enjoyable experience but the staff were all lovely and supported as best they could, if this doesn’t work i think we’re going to try a few iui cycles before we think about another ivf cycle as we only have one more funded 😳🙈 x

[S-Joys in reply to Sarah_a_2018]

Oh gosh what a nightmare! It certainly felt like forever to get going. We started down reg end of November but they just extended the timescale to accommodate the xmas closure.

The doctors think my tubes are damaged due to severe endo so been told ivf is our only option. Only get one go on NHS where we live also. So stress levels are through the roof

[Sarah_a_2018 in reply to S-Joys]

That’s a lot of pressure to make this work! I understand there’s a lot of funding restrictions but they really need to assess couples and as individuals more thoroughly to determine the best procedures and medications to give this the best chance of working, I’ve read a lot that the first attempt is a bit of a stab in the dark to see how it goes to know what to do for the next round and a lot of people just don’t have that option!

We’re unexplained, people reassure me that I’m young as I’m only going to be 32 next month but that really doesn’t make it any easier, I wish I knew what I could do to fix it so we can conceive naturally, that my next course of action before I try ivf again, that and possibly iui because it’s cheaper and a lot less invasive, if we need to find ivf ourselves it’ll take us a year to save for it x