Fertility Network UK
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Unhappy with 2nd cycle appointment

Hi all, just need a little rant. Had our appointment to go through with the 2nd round of icsi, this was to get the medication etc. All they needed to do was weight, height etc. They asked if we smoke, I don’t but my hubby has 1 or 2 on a Friday when he plays darts (his sperm is frozen so all his bits are done and doesn’t need to do anything else apart from be there for us both) Now I know they have the rules and regulations so I understand that, but they’re now setting us back 4 weeks (would have been 12 weeks if we hadn’t explained we didn’t know because he’s all sorted) so he can have the test to show he hasn’t been smoking. It’s a set back and made us a bit angry tbh, it’s not like he smokes 40 a day and drinks every night. Anyone else have opinions on this? Just feel like crap cause I was all ready and I can’t help feel a bit angry with the hubby also 😢😢 P.s we were told about the smoking thing in the very beginning and he mentioned that he had the odd occasional fag now and then and his test came back clear!! 😳😳 sorry for the rant 🤪🤪

19 Replies
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Don’t apologise this is the place to rant, I can understand why your frustrated especially if they never told you this in the beginning. I think new tests have come in though as it now says in my clinic about tests if you smoke which it never did before. Hope the time goes quick for you xx

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Thank you, hubbys just gone out and I’ve warned him not to touch a cigarette. I was so prepared for this cycle, the last one, and I’m stressed out now 😢😢. He could of lied but that’s not the way we do things. It should go quick enough 🤞🏻🤞🏻 x

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I know it’s so difficult especially when your honest about everything. If his sperms already frozen why does he need the test, is it for the funding for the cycle? Xx

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Exactly, we will do it by the rules and he only has 1 or 2 on one day of the week. He’s done his bit. It’s taken 3 years for us to get this far and I completely understand how the system needs to go by rules, they did say it’s because of the funding which is understandable. He was also told to loose weight because his bmi was high in the very beginning, they never weighed him after that! We had an appointment 2 days after our wedding and they did a smoking test on him then, it came through clear and he definitely had more than 2 cigarettes then. I can’t justify the way they do the ivf but when he’s done all his bits, why check him again x

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Yeah that seems really unfair, sounds to me like he’s done more than enough and there just looking for reasons to make it difficult. It’s so frustrating when there are drug addicts and alcoholics having children naturally and he’s being ‘punished’ (in terms of making you wait even longer) for having a couple of cigarettes xx

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It is luv, I can’t blame the staff, the nurse said if she ignored what he said and just went ahead then that would be fraud, I’m not going to do that. Hell no, and I did feel sorry for my hubby cause he wasn’t expecting anything for him to do in today’s appointment. He was there for me for support. I have a friend who used to work in child care and she ended up having counselling because of the things she seen, she had to change her job. It’s just not fair x

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Hi there, if his sperm is already frozen... I don’t see what the problem is? Frustrating!! xx

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Yes it is luv. We found out that when he was growing in his mothers womb that his tubes weren’t connected properly which resulted in no sperm being found in his samples. An ultrasound later finding nothing much I had to beg for a mri scan (that is what the consultant suggested after the ultrasound if nothing showed up, but when mentioned about the mri in a different appointment the same consultant said ‘well I suppose we could chuck the budget out of the window!’ Wtf!) So we’ll never be able to conceive naturally and this is the last round of trying because we just can’t afford to go private 😢 just so frustrating x

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Sounds very petty of them to me. Everyone needs something to unwind occasionally. It’s not like he’s a chain smoker xx

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It is but I really do understand the way they have to do things. Don’t know where we’d be without the nhs. Like I said in my other replies to this one, he was asked to loose the weight, he did it, never got weighed again! That’s all we ask for is a healthy, happy baby and it kills me to know there’s people who have them and don’t deserve them, and we have to go through all this! We’d all do anything for a child! It’s heartbreaking x

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Ah hun totally get ur frustrations! Like u have said not sure why he is being re tested when his sperm is already frozen...doesnt make sense to me! Its understandable ur annoyed with ur hubby though im sure he is beating himself up inside enough for the both of u. I know it will be hard but try not to let it ruin ur weekend together 💕

Glad its only 4 weeks and not the 12! Jus seems there are so many hoops to jump through. Roll on 4 weeks time😘 xx

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Thank you luv, she said 4 weeks but when we came out she booked him in for the test on the 8th feb which is less than 3 weeks 😳😤, I’ve then got to ring them on my next period which is due the 9th of feb but I’ve been coming on my period 2 days early, it’ll just be my luck!! 😤😤 I’ll have to wait till March then 😩😫 x

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3 weeks lets hope it flies in. Though even if ur period comes 2 days early, meds dont normally start till day 21 so could they not let u start end of feb? Xx

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I hope so, if I have my period the day before I’ll go with him and see what they say 🤞🏻, how are you getting on luv? x

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I will have my fingers & toes crossed for u 🤞 im getting on ok thank u, another scan sunday and all being well egg collection on tuesday 💕 xx

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Thank you so much. Ooooh exciting times, u’ll be fine, it’s just the 2 week wait that’s annoying. Get something to keep u occupied x

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Totally understand your frustration but that is NHS criteria regardless of fresh or frozen transfer some people can’t even get 1 funded cycle due to all the cuts so would say you Defo lucky in the regard. They have it as criteria for a reason and they could pull your funding all together if they really wanted to due to smoking. Wishing you all the best in your upcoming cycle xx

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Thank you, I know what you mean, they have to do their job and they are brilliant at it. I’m going to be waiting for him to walk through the door and I’ll be nagging him as any wife does 😂 ‘have you had a fag?!!’ 😠 I’ll soon do his head in!! x

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They really are I honestly I thought I’d never get funding I couldn’t believe that they even offered it tbh! It truly is amazing as it would have been near enough impossible for us to self fund . Hahaha smell his breath and hands, check pockets be the smoking 👮🏻‍♀️police like you said he will soon get fed up of nagging 😂 xxx

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