Hi everyone, I’ve joined this forum today as I am struggling to find anyone to talk to about this subject. I’m 40 and my husband and I have been trying for a few years without success. There is nothing medically wrong with us to give us a reason why it’s not working. It feels a kick in the teeth that my local nhs will not fund us as I’ve now reached 40! You wait to meet the right one and all that!! We therefore have to pay privately. We’ve had all the tests so we are ready to go. I’ve not planned any time off work during treatment but see some comments that it can be quite traumatic? I’m worried at the high cost to do this and it is unlikely to work first time. My consultant said not to read articles etc as it can be very confusing. Does anyone have any advice/reassurance for me? I’m very anxious and nervous about it all. Has anyone gone through this at 40+? Many thanks 
Start IVF January: Hi everyone, I’ve... - Fertility Network UK
Start IVF January
Hi there, welcome to the forum and I hope you find it as much of a support as I do!! Likewise I’m just about to turn 40 (Feb) & so far have had one failed fresh cycle and we’re about to start a frozen cycle in Jan. like you we’re ‘unexplained’ and only met when I was 36!!
While I found the process daunting and emotional, the fear of it was worse than the actual procedures if that makes sense!! I did take time off work as my work can be quite stressful and I wanted to be in the right frame of mind!! Will do the same again in Jan.
Wishing you the very best of luck on this tough journey!! 🤞🏻xx
Thanks for your reply, much appreciated. Wishing you lots of luck for January too. I think I’ve had too much time to think about it too much. It’s also hard when you’re surrounded by friends who have that sorry feeling for you because you’ve not yet had a child
Yeah it’s really hard to not have it at the forefront of your mind all the time!! Try taking time out the two of you to still do things you enjoy!!
Yeah I’m the same - only close few friends know and I can often see the pity looks!! From the others that don’t know it’s always the question!!
Thank you - wishing you the very best of luck as well!! Are you starting treatment soon?! xx
Yes we start around 8th January. Got to wait until first day of my next period and I can call and be seen that day. I’ve not taken time off work as we can see consultant early morning or evenings. I’m hoping I can do both as my job is also quite demanding x
Sounds like we’ll be starting about same time, albeit mines is a frozen!!
Everyone is different in terms of work, in some ways I also had no choice as the clinic is a 3.5hr drive away so impossible to work appointments round a working day!! xx
Hi, am 39 and my advise to you is, don’t overthink it. Our clinic is great and makes the process as simple to follow as possible with always a support on the other side of the phone. And I did not took a single day off work but that depends on the type of work you do. I travel to Japan the day after EC. Was bloated and a bit sore but more like when you waiting for your period to start. Came back to Uk the day of the ET (5dt) and was home resting for a day or so before I started working again! So do not overthink, be positive and let nature takes its course! 🤰
Hi there
It is completely natural to feel very anxious and nervous about your first cycle - I was the same. Each person reacts differently to drugs and protocol - but it is manageable - so many of us have gone through it.
Sadly, for us, we have not succeeded yet following our first fresh cycle last summer and got a negative result last Friday following a frozen embryo transfer. I'm 39 and not ready to give up on the idea of life with our own children. Good luck.
Hi
I am 39. I quit my job for ivf because there is no way I could have dealt with both. But that’s just me and I had to save to be able to do that obviously!
I would defo take time off after EC if you can, both fresh rounds I suffered quite badly afterwards and couldn’t have imagined working.
I went through a finance company that did 2 fresh rounds and FET included for a discounted amount, so not sure if that’s something you could look into?
I found the thought of injections quite daunting at first, but after a couple of days it was easy.
I think the build up is daunting, but once you get in the process it’s quite exciting.
Good Luck!
Hi, thanks for your reply. That’s good to know. I think it’s more the thoughts and emotions to go through before starting but as you say it’s exciting once you start. Thanks and good luck to you too x
Hi there, I started my IVF cycle at 40!
I was really lucky to get a BFP, but sadly miscarried at just over 11 weeks. I’ve got one frozen embie which I’m hoping to have transferred early feb time.
I took the 2 weeks off as leave when I had EC and ET, but did it so I could have a bit of time out from work and look after myself abit.
Am wishing you lots of luck for your cycle xx
I’m 43 and had a gorgeous baby boy in Oct after a first successful IVF round (was very lucky as the odds were blatantly not in my favour)
I literally had one day off work during it (for egg collection). I felt that keeping busy & being ‘normal’ was important to dealing with it all. I was also lucky I could have scans/bloods done first thing before work
You just need to do what feels best for you at the end of the day.
Good luck! X
Hi, thanks for your reply. Congratulations. That’s great news. I will be going either early mornings or after work for my appointments. Did you try for very long before deciding on ivf?x
We were trying for a few years. Initially thought (as we all do) that it would just happen. But eventually after a load of tests & a laparoscopy it became apparent that it wasn’t going to happen ‘naturally’.
We literally visited some clinics last Dec & then started a cycle in Jan so all very quick which it needed to be with age not on my side...x
That’s so great for you. Did your tests show anything untoward? Our tests have all come back ok. Because of my age we’ve decided on ivf but I am still doubtful on putting myself through it just because I can imagine it’s emotionally stressful. Keep thinking I should give it a bit longer but then like you say age is not on my side ☹️x
Yes my tests showed that it wasn’t going to happen naturally unfortunately and that was regardless of age.
If your tests are all ok you may find that it does happen without ivf when you least expect it...I thought it would be the case with me and I put off getting tests etc when I should have done it earlier in hindsight.
I take it you’ve tried ovulation kits etc?
Anyhow It is stressful there’s no way around it. I honestly never expected it to work so was massively shocked when I got the bfp & the worried throughout the pregnancy (which went smoothly incidentally!). Still worrying now! 😊
Fingers crossed for you! X
Hello - Long post but wished to share our story in case it gives any hope as we were very lucky to have a successful first round of IVF at 38 (just before my 39th birthday) so v close to 40 after ttc for nearly 5 years. We'd had a surprise natural pregnancy 2 years ago which resulted in miscarriage whilst waiting for IVF, then an operation to sort out the shape of my womb and remove grade 4 endometriosis adhesions, then early this year we finally started our first round of IVF...although all the odds were against I went into it thinking as positively as possible, gave up alcohol, made my diet as healthy as possible, took supplements, found a acupuncturist who specialised in infertility and IVF and did daily sessions of a hypnotherapy cd called Helen McPherson IVF belief.
It's a personal choice about taking time off work - I'm a social worker and found it too stressful to be at work esp as I had a bad reaction to the first lot of medication so I did take quite a bit of time off and had most of the 2ww off which was a double edged sword! We only got 6 eggs out of which 4 fertilised and on day 5 there was only 1 2bb embryo to transfer and the others had all 'perished' so none to freeze. I tried to avoid google as I knew our chances were so low but we were amazed with a BFP and stayed amazed at every sick inducing scan and check along the way...our miracle baby boy was born on the 7th of December and weighed 9lb 9oz - he is amazing and we cannot believe he is ours to look after...IVF is amazing when it works but it can also be a very intense and difficult journey - my advice would be to prepare yourself as well as possible and keep a healthy balance of optimism and realism along the way! Wishing you all the very best x
Ahh nice story big congrats! I only got 2 eggs at my egg collection. Both of which went back in and one fertilised so miracles can happen
Hi Slb43, I had my first round of ivf in April last year at 41 and my second in November. Although the first was unsuccessful and the second was a freeze all, the whole process was nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be. I was worried about the effects of the drugs but I was relatively ok. Are you on short protocol? My advice would be to drink a ton of water when you’re stimming. I also had my boyfriend administer all the injections - it just took the pressure off me but I know others who have said they preferred to do it themselves. I had a day off for egg collection and a day off after the first time but second time, just the egg collection day off. I then also took transfer day off. Wishing you a whole heap of luck. Pm me if you want to ask anything as I know it can feel daunting but you’ll be just fine. Xx
Hi, thanks so much for replying what is short protocol? This is all new so picking up on terminology. We start early January and will know by early Feb so around 2 weeks of injections and scans. I’m planning to be very healthy during the course to give myself the best possible chance x
That sounds like short protocol - it just means that you go straight to stimulating the ovaries to produce eggs rather than down regulate first to shut down the ovaries (long protocol). Short protocol is usually recommend for older women as far as I know and is, as the name suggests, much shorter! So I think less invasive on your body. Wishing you lots of luck - the terminology can be a bit daunting at first but if you post up on here, they’ll usually be someone who can answer! Xx
Hi,
Ive joined this forum tonight and wanted to message you as I too turned 40 before starting treatment and was told that I would need to pay for our treatment, I have an appointment on the 3rd Jan to pick up prescription and start injections, I will be put on the highest dosage due to my fsh levels being high which has made me feel very anxious.
I haven't booked anytime off work as yet and also due to move house over next few weeks and concerned I maybe putting myself under a lot of stress.
What date are you starting in Jan?
Hi, thanks for replying. We are starting around 8th January, I have to call when I start my period which is around that date. Is the fsh the hormone levels? I don’t plan on taking time off but will see how I get on. It really is comforting knowing other people of the same age going through the same as at the moment I am the only one out of my group child free and people feel sorry for me which is rather annoying x
Hello,
No problem at all replying,I joined up tonight because needed people to talk to.
FSH is follicle stimulating hormone and means I dont have that many eggs left so certainly feeling the pressure.
My brother had twin girls last week and although excited for them also feel very emotional and envious too, its hard when all your friends and siblings have children and hard for people to understand unless they /going through the same thing.
8th Jan isn't far away now,I bet youve been wishing xmas over to get going!
Have you told work that you are going through treatment?
Yes I’ve had 3 weeks off over Christmas and my husband has been working so I’ve had lots of time to overthink it and stress. I’ve not told work I’m having treatment, just told 2 friends and not even telling family. Yes get where you’re coming from there, it’s hard. I had to avoid social media for most of Christmas as too many happy family pictures. It’s weird as like you say you are happy for people but when you see it it makes you feel envious and a little sad. We will be going through treatment at the same time then so fingers crossed for both of us x
I think the waiting is the most difficult because all different scenarios go through your head,you want to be optimistic but also need to be realistic,hard to strike a balance. I told my boss because job really stressful and pre -empting that I may not be able to work the out of hours that had been required of me but its whatever you feel comfortable with,i've told my parents and close friends but my partner hasnt told his family.
It will be nice for us to keep in touch as we will be going through it at the same time,like you im not familiar with terminology and not sure if im on a short or long protocol but ive got a scan booked for 18th Jan.
Ill let you know how I get on with the injections x
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