Jumped in to IVF too soon??

[Birdwithnoname]

Wonder if anyone else has had a similar experience to me? Got fast tracked to Ivf icsi because OH signed up to be a sperm donor and they found anti-sperm antibodies. At the time we were hoping to delay starting our own family for a couple of years as assumed we would not have any difficulties and we weren’t ready. We went through the nhs, aged 35 at the time, qualified for one fresh cycle, but didn’t have to wait the initial year of TTC. All my blood tests and follicle scans came back normal for my age.

So far had 4 embryos put back, 2 fresh, 2 frozen , all failed.

2 years later, seriously regretting not trying naturally for long enough. As now approaching 37 which I’m told is not great for Ivf. I feel like all these months of treatment have taken up so much time and being on the gonapeptyl stopped my periods for ages each time meaning less months of TTC in between cycles. Also I feel like they assume that the antibodies are the only factor but I’ve never had any other tests like , I don’t know if I ovulate probably at the right time each month or if I have any immune probs. Should I pay private to get any extra tests done?

Also I read on the British fertility society fact sheet that they don’t think that routine testing for anti-sperm antibodies has any value for Ivf... so does this mean it’s not important and we should be able to conceive naturally? Our consultant, however said the antibodies are significant and natural conception would be unlikely. He has 40% antibodies but above average for all the other parameters. OH thinks that our consultant thinks we were trying naturally for a year and assumes we were infertile, was probably only 9 months in reality but since then have been trying loads anyway.

I feel full of regret and like we went about it all wrong. Not given up on treatment yet. Hoping our consultant is doing what’s best for us but wonder if they just push Ivf too much but it’s not the only option? Feeling so miserable about my age as well. Crystal ball anyone??!!

Xxx

[Hidden]

I don't have the answers for you Hun but wanted to say please don't let the age thing get to you too much. I used to make myself quite ill over my age sometimes. For me it was because my NHS hospital made me feel as though if you were over 35 you had no chance! I get in an ideal world its easier to all the baby stuff at an earlier age but I was trying to conceive for donkeys years. I didn't even concieve naturally til I was 38 & 40. They ended in miscarriage but I just turned 41 & am pregnant after my first IVF cycle so us older women can still do it. Sending you lots of good wishes for the future xx

[Birdwithnoname in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your encouragement. That’s really good news and fab to hear your pregnant. Xxx

[Hidden]

Please dont get down about your age. I got pregnant naturally at 42 and produced 29 eggs at 43 with first transfer success with ivf. The secret is to get as much info and plan properly! Our journey has been twisted and we’ve had to find out so much through error so have all your tests done before you invest anymore money. Fully checked for any thyroid, immune and clotting disorders...I lost 6 pregnancies (4 with my own precious eggs, incl natural and ivf and 3 with egg donor because i’m now 45) they finally tested me after 3 consecutive chemical pregnancies ...extortionate loss of money, time and absolutely heartbreaking. Get a second opinion if you need to and have OH checked fully (karyotype/ morphology etc). We’ve been relentlessly at this for 3 years, missing out on loads of family and friend events but we’re currently pregnant after ivf in the US...not counting my chickens but praying hard. Good luck and don’t give up!! Xxx

[Birdwithnoname in reply to Hidden]

Sorry to hear it’s been such a difficult journey for you but again wonderful to hear your success. I won’t give up. 29 eggs is amazing! I’m guessing that’s way above average. So to get all the extra checks you mentioned would this have to be private? I’ve got one more single FET on nhs so I’m getting prepared to look for private anyways. Did you shop around and ask all the clinics what they offer? What’s the Karyotype type testing? If you don’t mind me asking what problems did you uncover when you did all that? Thanks for the advice xxx

[joulles]

I think for many it's the opposite - they regret waiting so long to start IVF. I thought that IVF has a higher success rate than trying naturally and 9 months or 12 months probably doesn't make too much difference. I would say after four failed transfers extra investigation is definitely warranted- is your clinic/consultant going to do any extra tests? Hope you get some answers soon xox

[Birdwithnoname in reply to joulles]

Really? Ok thanks for that. No my clinic are not, they are not particularly forthcoming when I ask lots of questions. I will have to research on what kind of extra tests I should have. If there is anything you would recommend part from thyroid and NK cells? Xx

[Mrsplant]

Its a difficult one... but just keeep trying. U have a better % of it working with frozen