Today I've just cried 😰

[ICSIBaby86]

I don't know whether it's because of the time of year and I've just reflected on everything this passed year. 4 and half years trying for a baby and i always think to myself by next Christmas we might have ours and 4 years later we still haven't 😥 ... my colleague and close friend had a one night stand the same week as my first embryo transfer. She ended up pregnant and is going off tomorrow for her maternity leave. I can't help but feel raw that could have been me 😰 the workplace is full of baby talk and excitement and I just feel sad and numb. IVF round 2 starts in January and I'm struggling to remain optimistic I just can't see me and my partner ever having a child

[Bella_12]

I feel exactly the same! There’s a girl I know, had it all mapped out, got married, brought s big house, wanted to wait a year before they had a baby and then straight away she’s pregnant! I soundly wish infertility on anyone but it feels so unfair that others get it so easy and as they plan it...meanwhile I’m coming up to my 5th year since coming off the pill!😢 it’s very lonely but it’s nice to talk to others in similar positions. I wish you all the luck xx

[S-Joys]

I've found today extremely difficult, crying at the drop of a hat. We've been ttc now for three and a half years and it feels like it just gets harder each day. Sending virtual hugs your way though x

[ICSIBaby86]

Thanks ladies, I feel so lonely at the moment but I know there's so many women going through these motions I feel like my friends and family don't understand the pain I'm in. I've had 3 failed embryo transfers in 7 months yet I'm supposed to carry on my life as normal. Whether those embryos resulted in a pregnancy or not still doesn't take away the fact, they were potentially our babies, I prepared my body for them and my heart. It's just cruel all the time 😥 people see it as oh another failed attempt but for me it's another embryo that didn't make it and another dream lossed! I'm terrified starting round 2 ! X

[penny24 in reply to ICSIBaby86]

I understand how u feel. I’m struggling with a failed ivf round 2. No one at work knows as I’m their manager but it doesn’t stop the baby talk

Breaks my heart that my endometriosis is causing this, nothing I can do about it though. Wishing u luck achieving your dream xxx

[Msort78]

We are not alone. I have had three years of IVF and have had 10 egg collections. I just found out yesterday that I wasn't pregnant. I know one day we will get our dream. We just have to have faith and believe that one day it will be our time. Thinking of you all :-))

[KEndo16]

Really feel for you. We have been trying for four years and so far no baby. I have Endometriosis, which makes each period hard to deal with. I am trying to remain positive, but this month there has been a lot of PMS tears along the way. Crying for no reason. But positivity can only help so much. I’m going to concentrate on making me happy. Whether that is a walk on the beach, a warm bath, a good film I am determined to make the next twelve months enjoyable for the little reasons. I want to spend quality time with myself, my husband, my nephews and just enjoy being me. You’re not alone. X

[E_05]

Oh I feel so like this at the mo, I’m desperately trying to enjoy Christmas and then my husbands step brother announced him and his girlfriend are expecting they’ll be due a month after I should of been 😢

This is hard journey to understand if you haven’t been on it but know we are all here to support you. Have you tried speaking to a counsellor? Thinking of you xx

[Cyantist]

It usually really annoys me when people say this, but I do know how you feel.

We tried for over 10 years. In that time my sister went through 3 accidental pregnancies and, more recently, an abortion. Almost everyone we knew had a baby, then another, while we had every test and never got pregnant.

This will be my first Christmas as a mommy and something I never thought would happen. I know it's hard to feel positive but I believe a big part of why it worked is my consultant told me flat out it would work. She was so optimistic i think I finally believed it might happen.

Hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and is the last one without your babies

X

[ClarabGlasgow in reply to Cyantist]

That must have been so difficult with your sister , life is very unfair. But we just have to work with what we have and keep hoping. None of us are alone & all here for one another . Hugs xx

[Sarah_S]

I'm glad you posted this, I feel exactly the same. 4 years ttc, and 4th round of ICSI lined up for January. So difficult at this time of year, more socialising and seeing family and friends without any good news to share and having to watch and listen to stories about other people's children. Christmas always seems like a milestone which you hope something might have happened by, and each year it gets harder. This group is great for the emotional support and simple realisation that you are not alone. Much love everyone xx

[Oakey80]

Hiya I was here last Xmas.. .5yrs ttc and facing ivf in January. My 1st round failed and baby would have been due today...it feels like a loss even though I was never pregnant! I am however now 27wks pregnant following my 2nd round which I am so so grateful for. I still remember thinking I'd never be a mum...but dreams do come true! Wishing u a happy successful 2018! 🍀

[Tranters]

Totally understand! This time of year makes it worse too as everyone gets excited with children. Ita worse this year than any because we have a baby nephew who I adore but buying for him has just made me that much more aware that we are without. Sending hugs your way xxx

[TTCs]

Sending lots of love. It's a very unfair journey marred with sadness, anger and hopelessness along with guilt that we cant always be positive like we know the advice says we should be. It is so so hard to hold on to but there is always hope for all of us trying to get our dream of becoming a parent! 😘 xx